Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

ell you a device you don’t need but get this…we’ve only gone and done it in green!!We offer very reasonable rates of $67904709854275097 per month with deals that include:<ul><li>Calls</li><li>Texts</li><li>Faxes</li><li>Internet up to 5 yards away from your house</li><li>Calls to Uganda</li><li>Calls from Uganda</li><li>Calls to those people who ring you all the time even though you’d prefer it if they’d just text you.</li></ul>It doesn’t stop there!For an extra$ 7982590570957 plus a camel, we’ll throw in bonus features such as:<ul><li>Making your iPhone spontaneously combust when annoying relatives ring.</li><li>Giving you an electric shock when you try to take a snap of your food for “the gram”</li><li>Wakes you up each morning by saying “get out of bed you lazy f*cker!”</li

Options

</ul>Apple are a company that promises you the very best for your money’s worth. But please note…you better have a sh*t-ton of money.Still not convinced? Check out our reviews from some very satisfied customers:“This phone is great. It lets me stalk women and keep an eye on the Mexicans without them knowing it’s me. God, I’m the best” — Donald Trump“How do I turn this f*cking thing on? ” — Pope Francis“Can I make a reality series with this?” — Dog the Bounty HunterSo what are you waiting for? Grab yourself the new iPhone XXL 75378538678356832 Ultra-Slim Extra today!No refunds (including your soul)No Samsung enthusiastsNo one poor or gullable.</article></body>

New from Apple — The iPhone XXL 75378538678356832 Ultra-Slim Extra

It comes in green for only $20000000000 extra…

Did someone vomit on my phone? — Photo: Cellular Country

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

No! It’s a new iPhone that’s coming to take your soul.

Ever since our phones that are named after fruit came out, we here at Apple have been raking in the dolla dolla.

So guess what? Yep, we want to sell you a device you don’t need but get this…we’ve only gone and done it in green!!

We offer very reasonable rates of $67904709854275097 per month with deals that include:

Calls
Texts
Faxes
Internet up to 5 yards away from your house
Calls to Uganda
Calls from Uganda
Calls to those people who ring you all the time even though you’d prefer it if they’d just text you.

It doesn’t stop there!

For an extra $7982590570957 plus a camel, we’ll throw in bonus features such as:

Making your iPhone spontaneously combust when annoying relatives ring.
Giving you an electric shock when you try to take a snap of your food for “the gram”
Wakes you up each morning by saying “get out of bed you lazy f*cker!”

Apple are a company that promises you the very best for your money’s worth. But please note…you better have a sh*t-ton of money.

Still not convinced? Check out our reviews from some very satisfied customers:

“This phone is great. It lets me stalk women and keep an eye on the Mexicans without them knowing it’s me. God, I’m the best” — Donald Trump

“How do I turn this f*cking thing on? ” — Pope Francis

“Can I make a reality series with this?” — Dog the Bounty Hunter

So what are you waiting for? Grab yourself the new iPhone XXL 75378538678356832 Ultra-Slim Extra today!

No refunds (including your soul)

No Samsung enthusiasts

No one poor or gullable.