Never Trust A Stranger On The Internet When It Comes To Your Dog.

Dogs deserve better than being forced into unhappy situations and fights.

I hear some odd and concerning things in my line of business.

A kind, conscientious, thoughtful lady shared her concerns during a Discovery Call. Her new rescue dog and resident dog are not getting along.

Nothing unusual there.

The rescue dog had also taken up being a bit growly and barky at dogs outside the home.

Again, nothing unusual there either.

Most dogs go through a period of settling in, which can last six months or more.

A new home.

This poor boy in question had spent his whole life in a cage, to the point it had affected his growth, muscles, and weight.

The previous “caregivers” had neglected him, and it was a cruel and horrible situation.

The poor boy felt overwhelmed and reacted with fear-based aggression, which is understandable.

He might have also been in pain. His body was still recovering from neglectful circumstances.

I was so glad he had found a lovely home with his new, kind and caring family.

There is plenty for us to work on, but nothing we can’t overcome. We talked about many things that are similar to other dogs I work with. I am confident we can improve everything.

The new arrival worried the other resident dog.

She feared losing her dinner, so she ate quickly and crouched with her tail tucked in a defensive position.

She had also taken up barking.

I suggested that the dogs eat in different rooms. We could also put up a stairgate so they can eat in peace.

The poor lady had searched for ways to help her dogs, and had been following the advice given.

She had found a video advising doing the opposite.

Letting them “sort it out”.

The video recommended putting the dogs’ bowls together to make them “sort it out”. The lady had been diligently putting their bowls together, not knowing any better.

Even though she felt bad about it, she had been led to believe that this would solve the problem.

But (oddly enough) it was not helping.

No, no, no.

Picture things from the dog’s point of view.

Imagine a stranger, big and grumpy, entering your home without permission. They then were eyeing up your favourite chocolate (which is like gold dust — quite tricky to get hold of.)

You would also feel defensive.

If someone keeps getting too close to your chocolate, despite your protests, you’ll get agitated.

You would eat it faster, enjoy it less and have the experience ruined for you.

If the behaviour continued, then you would be getting rather frustrated.

You would likely say something rude and tell that new person where they could go.

If they then continued to eye up your chocolate, you might have an argument with them over it.

If they still carried on, you would have a big row.

You would not grow to like that person.

You definitely wouldn’t want to welcome them into your home. You would start to protect your chocolate from others, not just that one person, but anyone else who wanted it too.

Once you start safeguarding your chocolate, you might notice your loved ones are taking an interest in the newbie.

You might feel pushed out, a bit lonely and hurt.

You might guard other things you care about lest you be threatened with losing those too.

You would feel sad, on guard and in danger of losing things you care about.

So why would a dog with less power to work out what is happening feel any better than you?

Now, picture it from the rescued dog’s viewpoint.

You are released you from the only tiny wire cage you have known all your life. Your body hurts and everything is very overwhelming and scary.

You move into a new house with unfamiliar people, so much space, new smells and stimuli, feeling unsafe.

You are compelled to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to be near you.

You try to keep everyone away so you feel safer, sometimes loudly, but they take no notice. You don’t really want any trouble, you want to explore your new surroundings in your own time and get used to everything.

But, it makes one person hate you more.

They keep having their chocolate near you and then yelling at you to back away from them.

You can’t avoid them because your own tasty food is right beside them every night and you’re hungry.

But they keep yelling at you.

You need to eat and have no choice in where you can do so.

You dislike this person. They are very mean to you. You can’t change it. So, you feel defensive.

You have enough problems, so you want this person to go away and leave you alone. But they won’t. They insist on being beside you, yelling at you while they eat their chocolate.

You didn’t choose to be here. But for the most part, you like it here, and you like the other people. It’s the best place you have ever been.

So, you decide you must keep this place and start guarding things.

One day, you snap.

Now, there is a risk that someone will send you away.

As a dog, there is no choice. And this is not how they will make friends.

I told the lady to give them their food in separate rooms. It felt like I was giving her permission to do something she had known was right all along.

I could feel the relief down the phone.

The situation will improve immediately. This much I know.

Making dogs uncomfortable doesn’t help improve worrisome situations. It is going to make it harder for them to make friends.

Once Separated.

Now imagine if they separate every meal, they can go and eat in peace. They no longer need to mistrust each other over food. They might then feel less defensive in general, allowing them to make friends.

At meal times, they might not need to separate forever. If feeding them in the same room is important, they can start at opposite ends of the house.

Every night, they learn to trust and accept each other more. In time their bowls can inch closer until they’re together. Or, it doesn’t matter if someone feeds them separately forever.

The moral of the story — If something doesn’t feel right, pay attention to your gut.

Don’t blindly follow internet advice if you have concerns about your dog. Yes, I get the irony. Instead, seek guidance from a qualified, force-free behaviourist. Even then, read reviews and ask others about their experiences working with them.

Dogs are living beings that feel emotions like us. We shouldn’t force them into challenging situations.

After talking to the woman, I hung up with a smile. She could tell the advice she had before wasn’t helpful.

I explained how we’ll handle the other issues, and now we’re confident we can improve both dogs’ lives.

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100 Day Challenge — Day 37.