Never Goodbye

A poem of realistic healing

If I could say goodbye just once, I wouldn’t. It is overrated, you see. It doesn’t give closure, only one last glance into the abyss of your eyes.

So no. I will not say goodbye.

Instead, I pen this letter that I will never send. To tell you of my heart and how it is on the mend. Even in this letter, I say the word goodbye, but it means nothing.

The mark of you lingers like the scent of lavender or freshly picked cracked grapes from the vine. The vine rotted just like my soul until I had the courage to stand up and let you go.

So no. I will not say goodbye.

You never leave. You haunt my dreams and swirl in the water, going down the drain of oblivion.

Not a ghost or ghoul, not even a demon, just a shadow. Hovering aimlessly tethered to my likeness.

So no. I will not say goodbye.

I write this letter not for you but for my own amusement. I will toss it into the flames and watch it burn to ash. Its therapeutic no matter how pointless the act.

I crumble the words, and with it, your existence, at least, thats the lie I tell myself.

So no. I will not say goodbye.

Prompt by Bella Smith ⭐in Promptly Written “Moody Monday Write a ‘moody’ poem or story around: A letter never sent.”

Tas is an autistic, queer trans, nonbinary, hard of hearing disabled person of color, published author, and writer.