Summary

The article discusses the importance of recognizing and responding to the red flag of a partner threatening suicide in a relationship.

Abstract

The author recounts a personal experience where their girlfriend threatened and attempted suicide multiple times within a five-month period. Reflecting on this, the author advises that such behavior is a major red flag and a form of manipulation. They emphasize that a partner's suicidal threats should not be taken as the fault of the other party, and that attempting to control another person through such threats is unhealthy and unacceptable. The article suggests that maintaining close relationships with family and friends can provide crucial support during difficult breakups, and that faith and the belief in a higher power can offer hope and strength to move forward. The author encourages readers to recognize when a relationship is toxic and to act decisively rather than holding onto false hope, likening a doomed relationship to a dead plant that should no longer be nurtured.

Opinions

Threatening suicide in a relationship is a manipulative tactic and a clear red flag.
Feeling guilty for a partner's suicidal behavior is misplaced; it is not the fault of the other person.
Suicidal threats are an attempt to control and manipulate the other person's actions and decisions.
Support from family and friends is invaluable during the post-breakup phase, helping to provide perspective and emotional support.
Holding onto a toxic relationship is likened to watering a dead plant—futile and preventing personal growth.
The author advocates for personal responsibility and control over one's own thoughts and actions, not those of others.
Faith and belief in a higher power can offer solace and support during challenging times, providing hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Early recognition of red flags and the courage to leave a toxic relationship are crucial for personal well-being.

Never Continue The Relationship If Your Partner Does This

You’ll do yourself a world of good.

Photo by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash

“Please don’t do this. Please baby. I beg you.”

These were the exact words I said to my girlfriend as she was attempting suicide in the girl’s dorm.

I frantically ran towards the girl’s dorm while the security guards at my college gate tried to stop me. My eyes, glued to the screen and my mouth screaming “Please don’t do this. Please.“

It was her second suicide attempt in 5 months.

In hindsight, I feel I should have broken up with her when she threatened suicide the first time. At that time, she threatened me by sending a photo of a knife to her wrist.

It left me deeply troubled and scarred. I was too naive to even understand her drama, let alone call her out.

Here is what you can learn from my story and save your precious time and energy.

Your partner threatening suicide is a major red flag. And the last one you need.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that somehow your partner committing suicide is because of your actions. I went through the same thing.

I felt guilty that I have pushed her over the edge and compelled her to commit suicide. Oh so pitiable! And it took me a long time to let go of that guilt.

Remember,

It is not your fault.

Never ever feel that your partner committing suicide is on you.

Attempting to commit suicide is nothing but a manipulation ploy.

To keep the other person under control. Do not fall for the trap.

If they are so miserable with you that they can attempt suicide, why don’t they just end the relationship? But they won’t, because they want things to be done on their terms or we will see the end of them.

If my girlfriend was so miserable and unhappy in the relationship, why did she not leave? Instead, she spent all her energy on making me dance to her tunes.

If I have learned one thing from stoicism, it is this:-

“You have control over your own thoughts and actions, but not over the thoughts and actions of others.”

She meant for me to behave a certain way, and if I didn’t comply with her whims, she would threaten suicide.

Most of the bad things happened in our relationship because she tried to mould my ways. Such a futile thing to try to pull off! Trying to control the actions of others.

Keep your family & friends close.

Post-breakup phase is a tough time. Either you left the person or you’re the one who got left, it is challenging.

Having close relationships will be your biggest support. People who can be there for you. Support you.

Make you see where you went wrong, but also where you did not.

After breaking up with my girlfriend, I was reeling through the loss. I felt guilty that I cut off my girlfriend in an instant, and we could not even say one final goodbye to each other.

At that time, my dear friend, Bhavnaa Narula supported me a lot. She made me realize why I shouldn’t feel guilty for breaking off a toxic relationship. Without her kind and wise counsel, the breakup would have been far worse for me.

So always keep your friends & family close. They have their value in gold!

Bottom Line

Just know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I remember getting completely hopeless about ever getting out of this toxic relationship. So I know how it feels.

But I kept my faith in god. Firm belief.

I knew he will see me through it. If it is not happening right now, there must be a reason for it, even when it is not evident at the time.

Trust in the higher power. It takes the load off of your back and gives you hope and strength to carry on.

And try not to make the mistakes I did. I say try because I know firsthand how arduous it can be to get out of a toxic relationship.

Spot red flags early on, and run with all your might if you see things going downhill. Do not wait around for things to get better.

Stop watering a dead plant.

No matter what we tell ourselves, we know when the time of a relationship is up. Be honest with yourself.

That is the biggest favour you can do for yourself.

Thanks for reading and best to you and yours, — Shashwat

Editorial: If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, we encourage you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273-TALK (8255). This lifeline is free and confidential. It is open 24 hours a day and provides support, information, and local resources to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress and those around them. Call for more information or visit www.suicidepreventionhotline.org.