How to Ask Yourself Questions That Help You Move Forward
Do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We all want to find the right answers. To do that, we first need to know how to ask the questions.
When we have to find the solution to a problem, it’s easy to feel stuck in a negative mindset where we end up asking ourselves the wrong kind of questions.
It is important to understand that questions with negative intentions will often lead to negative and unproductive results. When we begin searching for answers, we first need to understand how we should change our mindset to get positive results.
“Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers.” — Robert Half
Asking for the solution
If the answer to the question we asked is “I don’t know”, then we usually feel that we need to ask other people for help. But the fact is that quite often we know the answer, even if we don’t realise it.
Most of the time, we have the answers ourselves, but we’re too lazy to dig for the answer, so we ask someone else or search for them instead.
It’s fine to ask for help, but if we continue to find the answers from someone else, we won’t learn how powerful our problem-solving ability can be. Finding the answers outside of ourselves is simply a quick-fix solution.
If we’re running a business and we keep getting all our questions answered by someone else, then we’re not the ones leading the company. A leader is someone who guides their team, shows them the way and navigates them in the right direction.
Learning to trust ourselves
If we learn how to listen to ourselves, trust our instincts and understand how great our mind is, then we’ll find all the answers we need.
We have to ask ourselves first, come up with an answer and experiment to see if it works. If not, we can try again or ask someone for assistance, but we shouldn’t immediately give up searching for the answer.
As well as looking for the solution to the problem ourselves, we also have to be willing to acknowledge that we might be wrong. It’s ok to admit that we don’t have the answer to everything.
For example, if the question is “why is ice so slippery?”, then it’s perfectly reasonable to say “I don’t know”. In other words, it’s ok to give this answer to a question we can’t know the answer to.
If we can, then we should always come up with a solution that has a reason “why”. For example, if we say “I don’t know” and ask ourselves “why?”, the answer would be “because I don’t know”. We have to find answers that give a good explanation when we ask ourselves “why”.
Bringing ourselves closer to our goals
We should ask ourselves what we want to accomplish in the future. When we do this, we come up with an answer that causes us to feel something. That feeling can be anything from hope to happiness, love or desire, but it should be positive.
Once we’ve established how we feel about the idea, that is when we begin understanding what we need to do to achieve it. When we think about what we want to achieve in this way, we start work toward it immediately.
What many people often do is they think of a goal, try to find a way to achieve it, and then start working towards it. They hope that the positive emotions connected to that goal will come once it’s achieved.
For example, if we want to own a business one year from now, it’s more productive to think about where we want to be, visualise the outcome, find the emotion we have connected to that thought, and then work towards it.
“One of the fastest ways to find the solution to an issue or challenge you are facing is to ask the right questions.” — Robin S. Sharma
Preparing for negative outcomes
When we’ve established what we want, we can start asking ourselves the questions. The issue with dreaming big is that our minds immediately fly towards problematic thoughts.
We try our best to prepare for the worst outcome, so we tend to think about the “what ifs” and tell ourselves “I don’t think I can”.
The thing is that we can’t prepare for these things. If we believe that we can’t get to the results, or if we think about all the possible negative outcomes, then we’re stuck in a negative mindset.
As someone who struggles a lot with anxiety, my mind often wanders to the negative thoughts. I’m often asking myself “what if” and come up with the most ridiculous worst-case scenarios. Not once have they come true.
The answer to most negative thoughts will be “I hope not” or “I don’t know”, because we can’t predict the future. If we think negative thoughts, then we will come up with negative outcomes, and that will only slow us down on our journey towards our goals.
Finding the right questions
What we should focus on is asking ourselves what we will do once we achieve our goals. If, for example, we want to become a business owner, then we first need to create a plan by asking fundamental, positive questions which should yield encouraging and positive answers.
If we tell ourselves to think about our ideal outcome, our minds will focus on that. If we ask ourselves a negative question, then we will come up with a negative answer.
I can’t think of one time I have been afraid of something and thought “what if this happens” without getting a negative response. That is how our mind works; like begets like.
What we need to ask ourselves instead are questions with positive intentions like these:
- What can I do to improve my business?
- How can I become a better leader?
- How can I do more of what I love?
- Who/what do I feel grateful for today?
- What do I want to achieve this week?
When we prepare for optimistic rather than pessimistic outcomes, we will find better questions that lead to positive answers.
We need to stop asking ourselves what we will do if our business fails, and start asking what we need to do to improve it.
“ You are essentially who you create yourself to be, and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making. ” — Stephen Richards