Summary

The article discusses strategies for managing negativity, emphasizing the importance of recognizing it as a defense mechanism, accepting its temporary nature, focusing on what one can control, and avoiding negative self-talk.

Abstract

The article "Negativity Doesn’t Have to Control You: Part I" explores the impact of negativity on personal growth and mental health. It suggests that negativity often arises as a protective response, preventing individuals from taking risks or considering new perspectives. The author, Sanjeev, argues that acknowledging negativity as a temporary state can alleviate stress and foster positive reactions. He advises readers to focus on aspects within their control, such as providing constructive feedback or improving personal performance, rather than dwelling on unchangeable circumstances. The article also warns against the detrimental effects of negative self-talk, which can lead to self-doubt and overthinking. By adopting a mindset that embraces feedback and learning from experiences, individuals can enhance their cognitive performance and resilience in the face of challenges.

Opinions

Negativity is seen as an evolutionary response designed to keep individuals safe, but it can hinder personal development by promoting a closed mindset.
Open-mindedness and the willingness to accept feedback are crucial for personal growth and maintaining healthy interactions with others.
Believing in the temporary nature of negative experiences can reduce stress and create opportunities for learning and increased confidence.
It is futile to stress over things beyond one's control; instead, efforts should be directed towards self-improvement and constructive communication.
Negative self-talk can be destructive, leading to a spiral of self-doubt and overthinking, which can significantly impact one's mental well-being.
The article is part of a 21-day streak series by the author, with a reference to the first article and a note on the series' continuation.

Negativity Doesn’t Have to Control You: Part I

At times, we all tell ourselves that “situation didn’t favour” or “I am not taking this risk again”. Often this situation refers to a third person who did not match your expectations.

Boss doesn’t approve leave? You despise him for the time being. Do co-workers roast you on flirting skills? You temporarily abandon the whole group.

Negativity forces you to take these steps in the “fight or flight” situation. Here is why:

Negativity as a defence mechanism

As executive coach Melody Wilding, LMSW says, “negativity is an evolutionary response designed to keep you safe and protected.” It stops you from taking risks; it prevents you from being open-minded; it stops you from being flexible about different perspectives of the same situation.

In a way, this is bad for your mental health. You end up doing nothing, and closed mindset is the last thing a developing human needs.

Opening to new perspectives means you are open to feedback. People like to interact with a person who is open to feedback because there is always room for improvement and an open-minded person shuffles between all opinions to make a balanced decision that reflects weights of the underlying feedbacks.

Believe it is temporary.

Depending on the effort put into a task, it is sometimes hard to get over the negative memory your brain recalls every time you try to move on. Believing that it is temporary releases stress and generates positive reactions. Even long breaths for 10 seconds can help.

You should not judge your self-esteem based on just one negative experience. If it is an experience, learn from it.

Take full responsibility for what went wrong, and the next adventure will introduce you to a different learning path. It may be better or worse than the previous face-off, but you will never know if you don’t try.

Learning improves cognitive performance and prepares you for similar challenges in future. Believing that it is temporary opens so much room for practice, your confidence level increases, and this trend has a positive slope from then onwards.

Don’t stress over what you can’t control.

When it is a person you are angry about, you can’t change their mind. You can either explain to them your viewpoint or convince them why they are wrong through constructive feedback.

People love valuable feedback. You might lead the discussion to your advantage.

When it is your preparation schedule you are worried about, you give the benefit of the doubt to time.

Time is a resource which if once lost, you can only recover with a second chance. And if you know there is a second chance, you will be prepared because then you are competing with yourself, your older version. You already know what mistakes you shouldn’t repeat.

Avoid Negative Self-Talk

Even one negative outcome can thump all your positive achievements to dust. It is because our brain is so hard-wired towards negativity, it succumbs to it every time, drowning yourself to self-doubt and questioning your belief system.

When you enter self-talk mode in this state, one thing leads to another, and you end up blaming yourself for everything that is going wrong in your life.

Self-blame and taking responsibility has a blurred line, and that line is overthinking. Too much overthinking and you will spiral so deep that you can’t even sleep, can’t even eat and can’t even laugh carefree.

This post belongs to a series of articles I am publishing in this 21-day streak. See the first one here. It is the fourth one in the line-up — 17 more to go.

To read the remaining ones, navigate to the end of the first article where there is a reference list ordered by day number.

~ Sanjeev