Navigating Through Life As An Obese Person Isn’t Easy

Here are ten things you should know about obese people

Did you know that obesity in America is on the rise? I’m not surprised at all because I’m one of those obese people.

An article by Susan Perry in the MinnPost suggests that severe obesity is on the rise. Her research shows that 7.7 percent of people are obese. and I quote, “That means four in 10 adults in the United States are obese, and one in 13 is severely obese.” I am not shocked by these statistics.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on how I got myself into this situation. I never thought that I would be obese. Growing up, I was skinny and very tall for a woman. Height runs in my mother’s family, but so does obesity. Because of my thinness, I thought I could escape my family’s genetics.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t!

Looking back, I can see where the seeds of my obesity problem started. When I was a child, I was, and still am, an incredibly picky eater. I only ate hamburgers, pizza, and junk food. I was an “oops” baby. My sisters and brother were grown by the time I was 10. My parents both worked, and we didn’t eat regular meals at our house. We all just snacked and ate sandwiches.

My parents wanted me to cook, but I refused because I was already doing all the housework. I was pretty much running the household. It didn’t help that my father was critical when I tried to cook. I don’t think he realized that no one had ever taken the time to show me what to do.

I never experienced eating regularly until I became a college student. I loved eating in the dining hall when I got to college! I had never experienced having regular meals three times a day, and it was great.

Even though I was eating regularly, I managed to graduate from college weighing the same as I did the day I graduated from high school. I even wore the same dress for both ceremonies. I was 5'11" and weighed 130 pounds.

Once I started teaching school, I ate in the lunchroom every day. I began gaining weight then. Teachers don’t have much time to eat. We shovel down as much food as possible in a short amount of time and head back to class. Plus, I think the food had a lot of fat and sugar. You didn’t see a lot of skinny teachers back then. The weight started creeping on.

By age 30, I had gained 50 pounds since college. I could carry it, or so I thought. By then I had gotten married and found my life was under a lot of stress. My in-laws were difficult and tried to break up my marriage, which caused a lot of marital strife. Then, my husband and I discovered that we were infertile, which led to more stress.

We adopted. Our kids had some special needs. Between those needs, teaching in a Title I school, and difficult in-laws, I began packing on the weight. Food became my therapy. In short, I am a stress-eater and am used to eating snacks since that’s how I ate growing up.

I left my30s behind me a long time ago, but I didn’t leave my bad eating habits behind. Last September, I got on the scales, and my soul was crushed by the number I saw there. How did this happen?

After a lot of reflection, I realized that there are a lot of reasons, like family history, stress, poor eating habits, and having a body that is insulin-resistant. But the biggest reason is that I hadn’t yet reached a point in my life where I said enough is enough.

Up until the pandemic, I was very active for an overweight woman. I either went to the gym or an exercise class every day. I also went to tai-chi classes and walking classes. I didn’t lose weight, but I had a lot of energy.

The pandemic shut down the gym and exercise classes. I had knee replacement surgery. Now, I can’t seem to get back into exercising except in my pool. I’m looking forward to spring so I can get back to it. I’ve also purchased a treadmill and exercise bike. I do use the bike, but I hate the treadmill.

Remember what Dr. Phil used to say? He said that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. He’s right, of course. So, I acknowledge that I’m obese. I’ve explored why and how I became this way. I joined Weight Watchers, and I’m following the plan. I’m acknowledging and changing, and I’ve lost 17 pounds. I have a long way to go.

What I want you to know is how someone who is obese feels, and I’d like to share some of what they go through.

1. We don’t need you to tell us we need to lose weight. We know because we aren’t blind, and we aren’t stupid.
2. We want you to know that your advice and lectures are offensive. What would you say if I commented on all the shopping you do or the alcohol that you drink?
3. We are hurt when people call us names.
4. We avoid going places because the chairs are not comfortable. This includes church.
5. We may not go to events where we know people from our past. We are hurt by the looks of shock on their faces.
6. We may not travel by plane because of all the complaints about obese people taking up more than their share of the seat.
7. We don’t appreciate your judgmental looks at the grocery store. You can stop shopping, but I can’t stop eating, so I need food.
8. The sheer amount of fat and hidden sugars in processed food sabotages us. It took me a long time to become aware of this.
9. We do not enjoy shopping for clothes. We don’t always want to wear black and have huge flowers all over mumu-like outfits.
10. We don’t lose our ability to make this world a better place just because we are obese.

People tend to be a lot more forgiving of those who have alcohol addiction or drug addictions. After all, anyone can stop eating too much.

Did you know that just about any restaurant meal is more food than Weight Watchers allows for an entire day? Did you ever consider how many calories are in most of our cheaper foods? People who are on a budget seldom eat healthily.

I’ve learned a lot in the six months since I committed to losing weight. When you want to lose pounds, it takes a lot of research and thought. It’s easy for others to sabotage you without meaning to. But what most obese people need and want from others is kindness, compassion, and encouragement.

4 in 10 American adults are now obese, CDC reports — MinnPost