Navigating Life’s Crossroads: A Journey of Relocation, Mental Health, Perseverance and Growth

This narrative encapsulates my journey of navigating the impact of relocation on my mental well-being, and how I persevered through this transformative period.

How it all began

Let me begin by sharing a bit about my journey. I’ve been immersed in work for as long as I can remember. With over five years in the tech industry professionally and seven years in total, my career path has been a blend of dedication and perseverance. It all started back in 2015 when I took on my first job as an SEO assistant. Commuting from Dhulikhel to Kathmandu every weekend, enduring a two-hour journey on public transport, I balanced work with my studies, dedicating Saturdays. During that time I also was doing some freelancing gigs via platforms like Upwork and Fiverr for minimal pay.

Upon completing my bachelor’s degree in 2016, I joined Verisk (now Cotiviti), where the grind intensified. Working tirelessly for eighteen hours a day, splitting my time between a day job and freelance gigs.

Later I moved to Australia to pursued my master’s degree, juggling odd jobs like dishwasher and later cook to finance my education.

Later in 2019 I was able to land a role as an ICT systems administrator at Education Services Australia, I continued to work tirelessly, both on weekdays and weekends.

In 2020, I got a role of DevOps engineer role at company called Audinate in Sydney. I loved working there. The workplace, team and company was awesome.

During that time, I was also able to get a freelancing for a US-based company. I found myself immersed in a relentless cycle of work, clocking in sixteen hours a day. However, the toll it took on my well-being became apparent, leading me to step back from freelancing. After working there for around 3 years i decided that it is time for me to be with my partner.

Apart from these i was always involved in paid volunteering works i.e Help Nepal Network(2013–2016), System Engineer at FCM360(2016), Sysadmin at Kathmandu University Boys Hostel (2016), Mentor at Melbourne Institute Of Technology(2019), DevOps Contractor at Karma Mobility(2020), etc

Later in mid 2022, I decided to relocate to US to be with my partner. I thought being together would be better for us. I thought that I understood the challenge that we will face.

I was so wrong.

Lows

First couple of months was okay. I enjoyed some time off, but as time progressed i found myself struggling to understand what is next for me. Anxiety and panic attacks creeped in. I found myself second guessing everything. Imposter syndrome kicked. I even reached out to online community for help. This was a mistake. Community like Reddit are wild wild west. You will find some very good answers, but some dreadful answer which will just suck the life out of you. When you are low, please reach out to actual person who can listen and will give you genuine advice. Take advise from person whom you know and who knows you.

During this time, I faced profound lows. Being isolated from my friends, family and grappling with loneliness in a new environment, navigating cultural differences started to affect me and my mental health. Negative thoughts clouded my mind, fueling stress and anger. Anxiety and panic attacks started to become very common. Despite the unwavering support of my partner and caring friends, it was not helping at all.

This was one of my lowest point. There was no end of the tunnel to be seen. It was frustrating. It became so hard that I could not even express myself to my partner.

It was affecting me emotionally and psychologically.

Bouncing Back

Detecting such behavior, my partner suggested me to reach out to therapist. This was one of my best decision. I found solace in therapy sessions. Therapist suggest i get a companionship of an Emotional Support Animal. Hence we got out ESA dog MoMo.

Tech industry is a high stress job, and results are also immediate. When you are used to getting results quick, our brain gets wired or used to that quick dopamine rush giving us sense of pleasure. This was not good for me.

Through introspection, various books, therapy sessions and guidance from family members, I began to prioritize my mental and emotional well-being, eventually finding my way back from the depths of despair.

To begin with, I followed the concept of delayed gratification. I started growing my mini garden ( which later MoMo tore down :) ). This taught me that whatever slow the process might look like, if you stick with it for a long time, it will bear fruit. Here is the video of my garden. Here is the video for that

During this period, I engaged in various activities aimed at personal and professional development. I delved into reading books, immersing myself in over 15 books, exploring diverse topics ranging from technology to personal growth. Additionally, I became an active member of book clubs, fostering ongoing discussions and intellectual exchange.

In addition to literary pursuits, I embarked on a series of projects, completing near about 10 endeavors that allowed me to apply and refine my skills. These projects, documented on my blog 99devops.com , served as valuable learning experiences and contributed to my growth as a professional.

Recognizing the importance of continuous learning, I proactively sought opportunities to upskill myself. Engaging in networking events and community gatherings, I connected with like-minded individuals, exchanged ideas, and gained insights into emerging trends and technologies. Moreover, I was appointed as an Auth0 ambassador, further expanding my network and deepening my involvement in the tech community. I was even recognized for Auth0 Ambassador of the Month.

Attending DORA events, online tech talks, and meetups provided me with valuable insights and facilitated knowledge sharing. These platforms not only broadened my understanding of industry best practices but also fostered meaningful connections with industry experts and peers.

Beyond professional development, I focused on nurturing personal relationships and fostering collaboration. Being part of a startup venture, I embraced the challenges and further solidifying bonds and fostering teamwork. Additionally, I had the privilege of sharing my expertise through tech talks, delivering a conference talk and multiple mini-talks on various platforms.

Lastly, I dedicated time to written expression, authoring over 15 articles and blogs on topics ranging from technology to personal reflections. These writings, published on platforms like 99devops.com, medium, allowed me to articulate my thoughts and share insights with a wider audience.

Reflection

Today, I stand in a vastly different place — mentally, intellectually, and emotionally enriched by this transformative journey. It underscored the importance of family, relationships, and mental health, emphasizing that true fulfillment stems from within. As I embrace a philosophy of lifelong learning, I extend a hand to those traversing similar paths, offering support and guidance gleaned from personal experience.

In essence, this time has redefined my outlook on life, reinforcing the notion that one’s well-being reigns supreme. As I navigate the ever-evolving landscape of self-improvement, I remain committed to fostering meaningful connections and championing holistic wellness.

With that being said, Do I regret any of my decisions?

No, reflecting now, I am happy that I got to be close to my partner, we endured this hard time together and more over I got to rediscover myself as a person.

I extend my gratitude to you for taking the time to read this far. The intention behind this article is not to boast or promote, but rather to impart a message of hope and resilience. Regardless of the challenges you face, even when it feels like you’re lost in a dark tunnel with no end in sight, remember that if you persist, endure, and continue moving forward, you will eventually emerge on the other side. Just as with everything else in life, this too shall pass.

If you find yourself at a crossroads or in need of guidance, know that you’re not alone — reach out, and together, we’ll navigate this journey towards a brighter, more fulfilling tomorrow.