Naked Excitement: How one Humdrum Dad Made a Splash at a Scantily Clad Bash

How an evening out to take sunset photos turned into naked excitement in Akaroa, New Zealand

When I go out to take sunset photos, it’s often a rewarding experience, but rarely is it a crowd of nearly naked people jumping in the ocean kind of experience. That might be what you would expect in an adventure capital like Queenstown, but not at all what I expected in the sleepy little French-inspired village of Akaroa.

I Started With Photos of the Sunset

I was out on the end of the pier to photograph the sun setting over boats peacefully anchored in the protected bay. I wasn’t expecting much as it had been overcast all day, but I have learned to trust serendipity. I was alone except for one couple sitting quietly on a bench at the end of the pier, the setting I usually get on occasions like this.

While surveying the waterscape for photo opportunities, I became aware of voices behind me. A crowd of loud, excited revelers was drawing near. I turned to see more than a dozen, mostly young adults, making their way down the dock in a very festive mood.

Then Things Got a Little Louder

Concerned they had been drinking and things might get out of hand, I wondered if I should make my exit. But leaving meant I would have to go through them. So I stayed in place, surveying the waterscape but keeping a side eye on the revelers to my back.

Once assembled, these jovial rascals gave me no cause for alarm. That was until they started to undress right there on the pier in full view of the town. The light was dimming, but it was in no way dark enough to hide them from the view of anyone on the waterfront.

Then Came the Near Nudity

Both men and women stripped down to their underwear, and I was close enough to confirm that they were not wearing swimwear under their clothes. After a few moments of psyching themselves up, the crowd lined up on the edge of the dock.

It was low tide, so the water was a good ten feet below the pier deck and, I suspect, quite cold. On a signal from the ring leader, they hurled themselves off the dock in one screaming, nearly naked, splashing mass of levity.

While a group of women stayed in the water and swam about, the men climbed back up to repeat the feat a few more times. Their confidence bolstered; they now showed off by flipping or launching cannonballs to splash the pod of swimming women.

I Try to Play It Cool

Although it sounds like I was watching all of this unfold, I was making a point of keeping my camera and eyes turned away so no one would get the idea that I was sneaking photos of them in their wet skivvies. But when it is happening just a few feet away from where you are standing, it’s hard to pretend you don’t know what’s going on.

As the excitement wore off and the cold set in, the group began to reconvene on the dock. The man who appeared to be the instigator was standing next to me. It was only two days till Christmas, so I asked if this was some holiday tradition.

A Casual Comment Changed the Course or the Evening

He turned to me and said he hoped they had not been too disruptive. Which I tried to laugh off with some, I’m sure, inane comment.

It turned out the man I spoke to was from England and was working here on one of the boats, offering the opportunity to swim with the marine mammals that inhabit the area. He was curious about my accent, and we discussed how we both found ourselves living and working in New Zealand as he stood dripping in his boxer briefs.

While we chatted about the water, he watched the remainder of his crew. He directed them back once they were accounted for and reconnected with their errant clothing. Then he turned to me, “You should join us for a beer.”

I Go Against My Natural Inclination

My natural inclination is to say no in situations like this. I’m quiet and introverted by nature, not a party guy. But I am a person who recognizes that sometimes he needs to push himself beyond what he would typically do.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Ya, Mate,” he replied. “We’re right there in the building on the pier.” He pointed to the headquarters of one of the two dolphine charter companies in town. The one that I had not signed my family up for the following morning.

A Side Note on Dolphins

Akaroa is known for its beautiful scenery, a charming community with a strong French influence, and Hector’s dolphins. These playful marine mammals are named for Sir James Hector (1834–1907), who examined the first specimen of this species — the smallest of dolphins and the only marine cetaceans endemic to New Zealand.

Unlike its better-known cousin, the bottlenosed dolphin, Hector’s dolphins have no beak. The other distinguishing feature is their dorsal fin, which is round and black, making it look like Mickey Mouse’s ear rather than a shark’s fin.

The calm, protected waters of the Akaroa harbor provide a prime location for viewing these creatures. Two companies run multiple boat tours daily, delighting children and adults with sightings of these unique creatures and New Zealand fur seals, penguins, and sometimes whales.

I Find I’m With the Wrong Group

Of these two charter operations, I signed up with Akaroa Dolphins, which runs more stable catamarans, as one of my children proved susceptible to seasickness on our sailboat. The selling point of the other charter, Black Cat Cruises, is the opportunity to get off the boat and swim with dolphins. But when I floated the idea of splashing around with dolphins, my high-minded teens objected to exploiting animals that way. So, no Black Cat Cruises for us.

“Are you going out to see the dolphins?” asked a young boat driver named Jack as he handed me a cold beer.

“Ya,” I replied hesitantly.

“Oh ya,” Jack brightened. “With us?”

I considered just saying “yes.” He’d assume I was on the other boat if he didn’t see me the next day. But I couldn’t bring myself to lie.

“No, with your competition.”

“What?” he said, making a half-hearted gesture to snatch back the beer he had just given me. Then he announced to the room, “Hey, this guy is going with Akaroa Dolphins,” to a collective but good-natured booing from the assembled crowd.

I slumped my shoulder and replied, “I booked it online; how was I to know?”

“No worries, Mate,” Ben told me. “We have nothing against those guys; we’re just glad you came out.”

There are No Rivalries When Business is Plentiful

Business is good after the difficult COVID years when New Zealand closed its borders and international tourism dried up. Now, you need to book in advance to secure a spot on a boat with either company. When business is good, there is no need for rivalry.

I met several other people who were mainly from New Zealand but with a smattering of other nations represented. With my history in sailing, we talked about boats, Akaroa, and life in New Zealand in general. I secured several restaurant recommendations, and that same name kept appearing: The Commons. I figured we should check it out, which we did the next night. It was even better than advertised.

As the sky had gone dark, I said goodbye to my new friends and returned to my family.

For One Night I am a Cool Dad

“Where have you been?” they asked as they expected me back much sooner.

“Oh, I crashed a Christmas party,” I said as if I did this all the time.

My teens cycled from disbelief to amazement as I told the story. They gave me a look that said, “Who so this guy we thought was just our boring old Dad.” It’s good to know I can still surprise jaded teens.

Return to the Scene of the Crime

I did feel a little bad that we had not chartered with Black Cat, and after our excursion on the water, my son said he would like to swim with the dolphins. Unfortunately, the only time Black Cat could fit us in was at 6:30 am, and no teen wanted to swim with dolphins enough to do it that early.

I did buy a New Zealand-made Evolve charm from Black Cat for my wife to add to her charm bracelet, which alleviated some of my guilt for not chartering with the people who had given me a good story to tell.

I don’t think you could go wrong with either Black Cat Cruises or Akaroa Dolphins. It depends on what you want from the experience. Black Cat will dress you in a wet suit and give you the opportunity to swim with dolphins. These are wild dolphins, and they do not bait them, so the company can’t make any guarantees, but the crews told me it’s rare they don’t get in the water with these remarkable creatures.

Final Note on Seeing Dolphins in Akaroa

Akaroa Dolphins operates catamarans which sit up higher and offer a better platform for viewing animals in the water. Since they don’t offload and reload their passengers, they do a wider tour of the bay, allowing you to see fur seals, penguins, a salmon farm, an oyster farm, and the unique geology of this peninsula, which is really an extinct volcano.

Neither company can guarantee that you will see dolphins or any other marine life, but the crews assured me that it is almost unheard of for them not to spot something during a two-hour tour.