Myths Of Squash Blossom Necklaces

In The Closet Box Of Failed Gifts

It was a confusing marriage proposal. On the day that he asked me to marry him, with tear-filled eyes, he promised a better life, a ring of my choice, and most important of all (in his mind) — there was another gift to cinch the deal.

The gift he came bearing, he claimed, was the lost Squash Blossom necklace that Napoleon supposedly gave Josephine. The metaphorical ornate ribbon of this whole true story was him saying to me, “I’ll take away all of your old problems and give you some new ones.”

With those words he slipped the heavy necklace on my neck and wept. At least he didn’t lie. Time would prove he indeed gave me some new problems.

I didn’t say yes, in that touching moment. I was speechless at the spectacle of a giant of a man unexpectedly in tears. I asked him to give me a few minutes.

Standing in front of my bedroom mirror I slipped the necklace off and held it in my hand. The necklace was no different than many I’d seen growing up out west in my childhood. I was confused. There was no way this Squash Blossom necklace was a real antique or even silver.

He seemed so sincere. Our relationship was new, there were more than twenty-two years difference in our ages. I was a single mom he’d rescued from being near homeless, living without electricity, and stranded in Florida. He was a millionaire.

Our relationship up until then seemed to be more of a convenience and friendship. I helped him manage some of his rental properties while he was out of the country on business. He gave us a free home and made sure we never lacked for food, electricity, and was generous to my children.

I didn’t know what to say. He had just proposed so sweetly. All I could do at that moment was thank him and ask him for time to consider his proposal.

Who was I to burst his bubble of generosity? Did he know this was a cheap tourist imitation of a Navajo Squash Blossom necklace?

How could he even think this was real? Did he seriously believe it was Napoleon’s necklace? Did he think I was stupid enough to believe this necklace was real? Or did think I was so shallow a fake necklace would lure me into marriage? . . .

Fast forward to married life years later. It was that Squash Blossom necklace that turned out to be the biggest reminder of myths in our marriage-of-sorts. The poor delusional man still firmly believed he’d bought Napoleon Bonaparte’s antique necklace.

He’d bought it on one of his Middle Eastern business trips, from someone reportedly being in a royal family. He even had a receipt of sorts (not that I could decipher it). By then, I was thinking it was another lesson in his being the King of the Cheapskates. He was in deep denial over this purchase.

Yes, he really was a millionaire. However, he held firm beliefs about being frugal. He believed every purchase was highly negotiable, “You are selling money, not buying something.” He’d gotten it as a “bonus” in a high stakes deal.

His Hasidic Judaism upbringing by parents who escaped the Lithuania Holocaust, dictated that we lived a simple life avoiding any appearance of luxury material possessions. While he’d left that world for his career in science and technology, except for occasional visits to visit his elderly parents, that way of life was ingrained into every aspect of family consumerism.

For him, the simple life we semi-led had to set an example for our blended family of five children to be frugal. This was to not distract them from their “job’ (getting a good education). It was also to teach them the value of hard work, and to be content with what they had.

Family rule was that we could buy anything at a great discount, flea markets, thrift shops, and by bargaining and bartering. The only other exception was if the item could be a tax write off.

Let’s just say it was a “hard sell” to 1980’s tweens and teens. The three girls were “material girls” and often sang Madonna’s song, as a protest (which cost them MTV time something else he did not approve of). Every day was a girl drama war zone during that time. LOL

I was expected and only allowed to wear the necklace when we traveled to big corporate events where evening gowns and tuxedos were worn. Each time, I would explain to him with as much tact as I could muster, the Squash Blossom necklace just didn’t go with formal evening gowns.

He’d get teary-eyed sentimental and try to persuade me to “bring it along,” hoping to change my mind. His pride wouldn’t let him admit he’d maybe gotten snookered. By then, I’d convinced myself that our marriage of convenience, was love. Not perfect, but still love.

I refrained from linking the situation to the time he’d bought a hot box of bricks in bubble wrap. With that great bargain he believed he’d bought the latest and best new-in-the-box VCR. Even geniuses who speak 8 languages can get fooled. That’s what you get when you want something grand for nothing was my unexpressed thought.

On a trip to Maui for a celebration conference at the Ritz Carlton, he continued his quest to persuade me to wear the now dubbed, “family jewels.” He’d packed them in his briefcase that never left his possession (back then no TSA). This event as a big deal as he was receiving an award.

There for ten days, he launched his daily campaign to browbeat me in “facts” about how I would be the envy of all the other wives. Each conversation began with him romanticizing a 1937 movie, called “Conquest” that he’d seen as a young man. It was there his dream of giving the woman he’d eventually marry the Squash Blossom necklace he believed the plot told of as Napoleons gift to Josephine.

While it was enduring tale, let’s leave this part of this story with simply saying I never wore that necklace with my evening gown on that trip or any other. I did frequently offer to compromise and wear it when we were alone in the bedroom.

There were several holes in his memory of the movie, but in pre-internet days, I didn’t know it at the time. The first flaw is that the movie wasn’t about a gift to Empress Josephine.

The movie’s plot was about Napoleon’s affair with Countess Marie Walewska. There was no Squash Blossom necklace gift to either the Countess or the Empress. The movie clearly depicted a floral diamond necklace set in white gold.

Added to the movie inspiration for my husband’s emotional attachment to that necklace he gave me? I could never convince him that the necklace was a fake. He wanted to believe he’d made the deal of the century. It was pointless to get him to see otherwise.

PS There is no proof that Napoleon ever owned or gifted a Squash Blossom necklace.

Squash Blossom Necklace History Buried In Egyptian Artistry

Our American plant species, Curcurbita, aka the common squash, is actually part of how this Squash Blossom necklace myth began. Ancient Egyptians loved and treasured the turquoise gemstones. It was so popular that even their soldiers went to Sinai to guard turquoise mines.

King Tut’s tomb would later reveal large amounts of turquoise. The Egyptians believed the gemstone held mystical qualities to promote fertility, health, friendship, wealth, and the ability to ward off the “evil eye.”

Later in history, since the Curcurbita blossoms looked remarkably a lot like the pomegranate blossoms Egyptians depicted in their art there was some interplay. Adopted by the Moor influence in Spain, the designs of both blossoms soon appeared in jewelry and even buttons. It was hard to tell one from another.

From those designs the Conquistadors who arrived in Mexico wore buttons with the same design. The natives were fascinated by them and the design because of their resemblance to their native squash blossoms. That spread further north

“Today, that imitation silver plated fake turquoise necklace from so long ago, sits inside a jewelry box I have in storage. I don’t think much on it, or the man who gave it to me. We divorced after 14 years, he stalked me for years later trying to get me to come back.

I do, however, think a lot about its symbolism and the blossoms of flowers like the squash and the pomegranate. I also marvel at how history gets spinned into lies and myths that even intelligent people believe.

They say to own one of those real silver and turquoise necklaces (and I’m not talking about Josephine’s, or the tourist copy my 2nd hubby bought), is to link back in time to past lives and love stories, and to celebrate beauty and a deeper meaning, even if it’s fictional.

Personally, I celebrate the beauty of the squash blossoms (and pomegranate) blossoms in a whole new-old way — by stuffing them and cooking them. It’s a whole lot sweeter than the coldness of stone and metal and unfulfilled promises in love.” — Jerilee Wei © 2023