avatarNicole Sponsel

Summary

The author reflects on their personal journey through writing, which serves as a therapeutic tool for processing past experiences and emotions, and invites readers to engage with their work and support their passion for storytelling.

Abstract

The website content is a personal essay by the author, Nicole Sponsel, who shares the profound impact of writing on their life. Sitting at a small desk, the author describes the transformative experience of writing, which allows them to revisit distant memories, confront past traumas, and embrace the healing process. The essay touches on the author's battle with anorexia and how writing has offered a new perspective on life, enabling them to fully engage with their emotions and experiences. The act of writing is portrayed as a means of time travel, a way to connect with oneself and others, and a practice of self-care. The author extends gratitude to their readers and encourages them to explore their own passions, emphasizing the importance of claiming one's space in the world. They also offer a glimpse into their other works and provide options for readers to support their writing through Medium membership or a direct contribution.

Opinions

  • The author views writing as a life-fulfilling purpose and a method for emotional time travel.
  • Writing is seen as a form of healing and self-discovery, particularly in the context of recovering from anorexia.
  • The author believes that writing allows for the expression of love, forgiveness, and proper goodbyes to the past.
  • They express that writing helps in acknowledging and managing hunger and thirst cues, contributing to overall well-being.
  • The author values the act of writing as a way to share stories and emotions, and to offer a lifeline to readers.
  • They encourage readers to identify their passions and claim their rightful place in the world, suggesting that this act of courage can have a significant impact on others.
  • The author appreciates the support of readers and suggests that becoming a Medium member or buying them a coffee can contribute to their writing endeavors.

LIFE LESSON

My Writing Passage

I am seated in my most life-fulfilling purpose, freely sliding along the expanse in our continuum of time.

Photo by Danica Tanjutco on Unsplash

Sitting at my little brown and black wood secretary desk, the miracle of hearing my words breathe and gasp as I say them in my head transfixes me. I have catapulted through a passage in time with the utmost, gracious gratitude for this privilege.

When I am writing, I can sit down right next to a distant friend again. I don’t even have to close my eyes. My legs find comfort in the lumps in the sofa we would sit on to talk for hours. How is it that nothing else in life has the power to carry me easily traveling back 10–40+ years?

My body weakly crumbled as my head pounds with self-blame with the news of my miscarriage 16 years ago. I feel the rush of wind against my chest as I open a door leaving my college dorm in the ‘90s. I can feel the bruised, swollen soreness in the lateral side of my right knee and the frigid ice as I fell repeatedly trying to land an axel figure skating when I was 11 years old. I can feel the strength of my neighbor’s arms as he carried my five-year-old body across his yard to my house after I javelined my foot with a dirty, rusty ice fishing spear.

A whole new world

I never felt a complete embodiment of the unraveling story told right in front of me before being fully recovered from Anorexia. My primary focus was distracted by my emptiness. In the past, I never chose to give this much of myself. I was hungry then and ignored it, starved and all-consumed with every thought of the food I wasn’t worthy of eating. I would still refuse it while mistaking willpower for unbridled insanity attempting to numb my pain.

Writing in recovery is a whole new world. The act and ritual of writing transported my soul, alive with energy and passion for traveling paths I long past visited. I am delighted to see old friends, say proper goodbyes, express affectionate love, and pass out unspoken forgiveness.

The clock stops but hours pass

My words hit the paper or screen in my first drafts capturing my mind. I get to go back on my terms or fast-forward in visions of consequence and choice not yet revealed.

When I take my seat with anxious excitement on personal days, I say goodbye to my youngest son as he leaves for school in the early morning. Hours pass while I visit joyful memory dances, buried shadows, and wipe my newly unlocked tears. My son’s return startles me as the door just closed not minutes ago. How have eight hours escaped me? My stiff shoulders and aching back are a worthwhile sacrifice beginning this journey of enlightenment.

A welcome surrender

I now have notes near my workspace or a post-it on the top of my phone to remind me at specific times to check in with my hunger and thirst cues. I no longer ignore them and am thankful for gentle hints of awareness to allow my body complete surrender. I give my voice over to my open writing world through self-care intact and gratitude unfolding.

I want to use my mental freedom to tell my story, share emotions I never expressed or held back with fear in poems and articles that invite you to walk with me through time or into a better future.

Thoughts in closing

Identify your passion. Explore the unknown till you find your seat. Please don’t avoid or ignore your desirable space in this world or your calling. Claim it for yourself instead of walking away expecting pain or disappointment.

You gain courage, strength, and faith that are far too valuable to sacrifice. You never know who you are impacting or the lifeline you gave them.

Thank you for reading. Please enjoy one of my poems.

If you enjoy reading stories like these and want to support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. It’s only $5 a month, giving you unlimited access to all stories on Medium without ads. If you sign up using my link, I’ll earn a small commission.

If you would like to support me in contributing to this wonderful writing community and other passion projects, you can buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/NSponsel, so I have more stamina to fuel my better writing ahead.

Writers Blokke
Self Care
Writing
Life Lessons
Self
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