Summary

The author reflects on their past approach to romantic love, acknowledging the need to embrace a more intuitive and patient strategy in the new year.

Abstract

The author, a self-proclaimed romantic, has always dreamt of experiencing a whirlwind romance as depicted in books. Despite meeting nice men, the author has never felt the instant connection they yearn for, often ignoring logical red flags in pursuit of an idealized love. After several unsuccessful attempts at forcing a connection, the author has decided to adopt a new philosophy for the new year: "take it slow." They plan to listen to their heart and intuition rather than getting swept up in the possibilities of new relationships. The author invites readers to share their own words or resolutions for the new year and expresses a desire to connect with others on this journey of self-improvement and reflection.

Opinions

The author believes in the possibility of a dramatic, storybook-like romance but acknowledges their past approach may have been unrealistic.
They recognize the importance of balancing romantic ideals with practical considerations, such as a partner's potential controlling nature or lack of respect for their career.
The author admits to previously ignoring intuitive doubts in favor of romantic excitement, leading to unsatisfying outcomes.
They have learned from past experiences and now advocate for a slower, more intuitive approach to love, emphasizing the importance of genuine connection over immediate infatuation.
The author values community input and encourages open dialogue about personal growth, particularly in the realm of romantic relationships.

My Word For the New Year is to Practice This 1 Thing in Romantic Love

Why my approach whilst looking for ‘The one’ has been back asswards thus far

I am a romantic at heart. And I wear my heart on my sleeve. Not a great combo really because it is often an emotional roller coaster.

My biggest romantic dream is to fall head over heels in love — whirlwind romance and all that as it is described in the books but alas, it has never happened to me.

Yes, I have met some nice men. Probably it is unfair on my part that I wait for ‘it’ to happen as I chat with them over a cup of coffee or dinner. By ‘it’ I mean the moment it happens — the stars align, fireworks go off or something and I just know he’s ‘The one.’

‘It’ has never happened — at least not yet.

What happens instead is that I get carried away by hoping it is going to happen — I mean if a guy is so excited about me on a first date then surely love is on the cards, right?

Yes, I am a romantic. And yet, there is an analytical part of me that is running at the back of my mind during a date:

He looks like he has a controlling nature. Girl, you really wanna go there?
He doesn’t take your blogging seriously — it’s not a real job according to him although he’s trying to hide it so he doesn’t upset you.
He thinks his opinions are the ones that matter. He’s just pretending to patiently ‘hear’ you out.
He’s full of himself but he’s cute and this is just the first date. Maybe, he’ll mellow out in time…

But guess what? The romantic part trumps the logic and I ignore them because I so want to feel exhilarated…to experience anticipation…to be borne away on a cloud of warm, fuzzy feelings…

What happens then is I push myself into doing something that doesn’t feel quite right to me. Sort of fake it till you make it kind of situation in dating.

Not good.

The last time I tried it, it predictably started off with a bang, fizzled, and ended in radio silence on both sides. I can’t even find it in myself to figure out what the heck happened.

Oh well.

So my words for the new year with regards to romantic love are going to be ‘take it slow.’ I’m not going to force it anymore and get all carried away by the possibilities.

Instead, I am going to pay attention to what my heart is telling me and let my intuition be my guide.

I am curious, do you have any word(s) picked out for the new year?

If you do, please share in the comments or in an article (tagging me) as I would love to hear it!

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Reads I enjoyed this week:

Shameem Anwar: https://readmedium.com/lessons-on-life-89dde3988e43

Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar: https://readmedium.com/theatrics-of-the-abendrot-sky-162d49fd7cef