A daily mental exercise

My wants are not the same as my needs - But an Illusion!

4 ways to justify a want

Not all caterpillars turn into butterflies. Some of them turn into moths too. So, be clear in your wants because our life also hangs in a seesaw of becoming either of them.

“Our life starts with a belief that without a want, we never get them. So, we believe that the wants in life are normal.”

Whenever we meet in social gatherings, formal meetings, or the leaders talking at the world stage, this question never ceases to exist.

Moreover, some of the relationships in the world today are based on the definition of a want. Many of us become friends or life partners depending on the compatibility of our answers. If our wants match with a person, we get along with them very easily.

But then, what causes us to part ways?

Perhaps, the reason is that we fail to define the quantity and the magnitude of a want. As a result, we keep on quenching our wants and it keeps on mushrooming in different forms.

Subsequently, depending on the wants, a person prioritizes one’s life. Yet, there are many instances where we do not experience mental peace and happiness even after satisfying that need. This is because something inside is hollow. There is someone inside whose wants are not fulfilled.

WHY??

If we can easily answer the questions below, we can justify that want in our life. In short, we can assert it to be a real want in our life.

Question №1: Do the wants in life keep changing?

The obvious answer to this question for most of us would be a definite yes.

It is also because of these types of wants that people in relationships drift apart. Partners separate because their wants from life no longer align with each other.

Hence, everyone has a different want from life depending upon their age, sex, caste, religion, physical, mental, and sometimes spiritual stabilities.

For example, a growing kid might have the want of attractive toys initially, but while growing, the wants change eventually. The kid then aspires for proper education, friends of his choice, and clothes of his preference.

Subsequently, growing older, the wants manifests into a job, wealth, or a relationship. After crossing the age of fifty or sixty, the wants for good health and mental peace germinates.

A want that arises at the last priority in the later stage of life should be the first. Don’t you think so?

Question №2: Are the wants dependent on materialistic pleasures?

We tend to believe that, “If our wants are related to attaining comforts of life, then those wants bring happiness. But that does not happen in reality.”

The more we associate mental comfort with material things, the farther it goes.

There is a myth in this world created by many people that comforts, and pleasures can be experienced only when we achieve something. Some of them weave their lives based on the want of a home, car, or perhaps a job. They train their mind not to experience peace and rest unless they achieve their materialistic goal.

As a result, they sacrifice the most inevitable possession in the quest of quenching that tangible want.

The material possessions are perishable so associating our peace with those pleasures and comforts is definitely going to hurt us sooner or later.

Question №3: Have I linked my wants with happiness?

Whenever we set a personal goal for our self to be achieved in life, we associate our happiness with that feat.

We tell our minds that no matter what, we have to reach the goal to experience happiness. This automatically conveys the message to the mind that the present moment is not a happy one.

Consequently, we relentlessly run in the rat race of achieving the goal of happiness because we have attributed happiness to physical or psychological goals.

Now, we are no longer satisfying a want but chasing happiness.

Having said that, we find two ways to reach our destination of happiness. The one is a shortcut, by improper and dishonest means while the other is the usual conventional one but by fair means.

Nevertheless, in the race of reaching our goal early, most of us opt for shortcuts. We cheat, commit fraud, and hoodwink others.

As a result, we get the by-products of our actions in addition to our wants. We carry with ourselves hatred, chaos, stress, tension, revenge, and many other negative feelings. These types of feelings keep draining our energy every day and then we start to think about others (as the hurdles in our race) in addition to our happiness.

As a result, the mind is divided between hurting others (by cheating) and loving oneself (acquiring happiness). But the irony is that only one is possible and we keep hurting people believing that they are the blockages to our happiness.

Finally, we reach our destination very exhausted and drenched with stress and depression. Because of this, we can not enjoy success.

We feel that the want is fulfilled but the thirst for happiness isn't.

Hence, the want does not create happiness and we must never ever correlate them. If we do so then that want is not worthy in our life.

Question №4: Are the wants influenced by external factors?

We believe that life is a competition with others, but the converse is true. It is with oneself.

Everyone has different prowess and abilities. Everyone wants different things from life depending upon their situation and capabilities. But we forget this golden rule and get caught up in the trap of “pretentious display of acquisition”.

When everyone wants different things, how can we compare our wants?

A great motivating story comes to my mind which my grandfather told me once.

Once upon a time, there was a family going on a road trip in a mediocre but a well-to-do car. The car was perfect for them according to their needs and affordability. They were traveling very happily, singing songs, and enjoying the picturesque nature outside.

But out of the blue, a racing car overtakes them at full speed. This infuriates the family and they create ego, anger, hatred, and jealousy in their mood.

Subsequently, they decide to teach the racing car guy a lesson and now they increase the speed of their car to full-throttle without taking into consideration it’s engine capacity and condition. The car speeds up and so is their attentiveness on the road to be safe. The family shuns eating, drinking, and even talking in order to focus on their fulfillment of the want of teaching a lesson.

And owing to this mentality, they shout and abuse and create all the types of negative feelings for the racing car guy and within themselves.

In the meantime, they are faced with a red signal on the road where the racing car also stopped. They think that it was the perfect time to get ahead and they try all the unfair means to get ahead of it. They broke the rules, played some mischief, and even blocked the road.

Correspondingly, they succeeded. But now, their car has started to make a lot of noise and uncontrollable vibrations. They were also very fatigued and exhausted driving and managing the fragile car.

After some time, they notice that the racing car guy had taken left or a right turn perhaps and is no longer visible to them.

This shatters their evil dreams completely. The racing car guy, whom they once thought to be a competition, was already on a different path. But the misunderstanding ruined the happiness of the family completely.

Hence understand the wants and its potential hazards.

Do not try to fulfill a want just because everyone is doing so. Find relevance in your own life and act accordingly.

If we look from a broader perspective, life is also the same as the above example.

Everyone is on a different journey. And everyone wants to reach their destination and they plan their journey according to their abilities (mediocre car). But on the journey, others (racing car) distract us and we get jealous of them.

In addition, we forget our destination and our capabilities and try to compete with others. In the end, we reach the destination with very low feelings like unhappiness, sadness, stress, anxiety, and depression.

As a result, we don’t enjoy success. Having achieved the desired want, a hollowness still pinches inside.

After answering those questions above, constantly keep checking your wants by asking and thinking:

1. Am I leaving anything behind to achieve something perishable?

2. What is going to stay forever? The material comforts or inner peace and happiness?

3. How profitable is the want in my life? Am I losing more than gaining?

No matter what we achieve, the thing that matters the most is how we achieve it.

If we truly understand our wants, we can definitely free ourselves from unnecessary indulgence in fashion, social media traps, and illusive marketing advertisements and in addition save a lot of time, money, and energy.

Please share your way of justifying a want. Thanks for reading!!!