My Walks With God

This morning as I went for my morning walk along my path as I do every morning, I think back to when this routine became a part of me in earnest, it was the beginning of the Pandemic and lockdowns, but instead of sitting inside watching the news of the world's worries and miseries and what seemed like, when inside watching the news at least, and them telling me that I could die from Covid, it felt like I had a loaded gun pointed at me, and a target painted on my back( or more specifically my lungs) And then I’d turn off the TV and take that first step outside the door and with all of Gods glorious beauty on display, even when it was raining, those walks kept me sane and centered and I soon made them the two parts of my day when I’d leave the house. Getting up and walking to see the Sunrise and then later timing my walk perfectly to be by the water here on Long Island to see the sunset after its days work was done.

Now don’t get me wrong I know as much about Covid as anybody else does, I wasn’t burying my head in the sand, I was just reaffirming to myself and my spirit that yes, God was still at work creating incredible colors in the sky with his mighty brushstrokes and the Swans still making their nest together along the shoreline proving that the swans had some faith in the future that many people around me did not. And it was during these walks I’d have some of my best ideas and wrote them down as draft copies along my walks.

And I think back on that somewhat immediate past that we all shared and suffered through today because, although cloudy here with light rain falling on me, the same beauty was on display today, as life goes on, but I also thought of the Gun Violence and the incredible weight of a tragedy ( many tragedies over these past few weeks) that my mind could not even fathom, but the weight of our shared grief over these incidents and the current brutal and unnecessary war taking place in Ukraine, and again the unfathomable inhumanity taking place there every day among their citizens as well as soldiers, I’m not here to comment on Gun Violence or the senselessness of a war born from nothing but greed and power, those are separate issues and deserve their own in-depth articles.

And here on Medium, where the most read articles are about making a buck and getting 100 followers, almost endlessly it seems to me.

Why do I write at all? It certainly isn’t because I was thinking about money, although abundance in the form of money was a byproduct of writing about subjects that had meaning to me and that I was passionate about here on Medium and elsewhere, about life, love, passion, beauty, God, and faith.

But what would make your writing worth more than money, for me, it was not only that walking and writing quickly became a form of therapy and kept me focused and sane during a somewhat insane time, I would even go as far as to say that my walking and writing during that time saved my life, as the unending news on TV of people I don’t know telling me of my imminent demise, and the uncertainty of it all, the inactivity and overeating and alcoholism and drug use born of that time period certainly created a disaster mode thinking and a doomsday scenario that played out 24 hours a day, every day. But I missed much of it except the most important information about health precautions ( another area of uncertainty and fear of the unknown).

Because I decided to put music on instead of the sound bites about the impending doom we all faced down together. I was feeding the ducks, walking on the beach, saying hello to some neighbors, and laughing at their dogs that now knew me and I became my friends too along with that path. ( I would say those dogs were some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, lol)

But today, in my relatively peaceful walk along that path on this Memorial Day weekend no less I thought of those recent shootings right here in our own country, of the War raging on the other side of the world, and a brewing monkeypox ( wtf ? really !? ) outbreak across the world.

And then I walked and eventually like a meditation with just me and God, I would find that along my path God's own reassuring path intersected with mine and there was a peace and certainty of life and faith that at times was somewhat beyond my understanding.

It’s as if what I was searching for in those walks on that path along the shore were searching for me too, and Gods voice came through loud and clear in the form of the beauty of the nature surrounding me and then directly into my spirit as my thoughts were filled with hope, peace, joy and a promise of a future unburdened by the heaviness of the tragedies and grieving over the senseless deaths of children, of people shopping for groceries, of citizens of Ukraine across the globe that were forced to leave their homes and are displaced from the only country they’ve ever known. My heart breaks for these victims, but I know there is hope, there is peace, and joy in this world and we have faced tremendously hard times and unspeakable horrors in the past and emerged from them and survived and came up with solutions. But if it is all too much to take for you, I urge you to take that first step out the door and walk and look and listen for God as he is talking to us always and you’ll find a peace and a light and a hope along that path that you didn’t have before your first step out that door and started seeking answers on that path. Hopefully, I’ll see you along that peaceful path in the future too, God Bless you and all those you love today and in all the days to come.

( p.s. Walking made me not just spiritually and mentally stronger but physically healthier as well;)

John Walter Raney 1st