My VC Pitch to the Curators: An Article About ‘Nothing’

Summary

The author presents a unique and thought-provoking article inspired by George Costanza's "Seinfeld" sitcom idea about 'nothing,' discussing the purpose of articles and sharing personal experiences.

Abstract

In this article, the author draws inspiration from George Costanza's "Seinfeld" sitcom idea about 'nothing' to create a thought-provoking piece that questions the purpose of articles. The author ponders whether it is possible to write an article about 'nothing' that evokes no emotions or conveys no information, yet still manages to engage readers. The author also shares personal experiences, such as dealing with sleep issues and medication, as well as changes in conversations with friends, transitioning from discussing movies and cars to more serious topics like depression and guilt.

Opinions

The author admires George Costanza's character and his ability to create a sitcom idea about 'nothing.'
The author questions the purpose of articles, especially those that focus on personal experiences, and wonders if they serve any purpose beyond empathy.
The author expresses dissatisfaction with their current sleep situation, despite being on medication.
The author feels a sense of 'nothingness' in their life, with nothing to watch, read, or look forward to.
The author observes a shift in conversations with friends, from light-hearted topics to more serious and depressing ones.
The author compares their current situation to the book "Three Men in a Boat."
The author humorously imagines a conversation with a psychologist about feeling 'nothing.'

From the creators of ‘I have got nothing more to say’ and ‘This is it!’, comes another scintillating article!

George Costanza is my hero, like really, he’s my hero. The guy might be cheap and desperate, but my hero nevertheless. Remember the Seinfeld episode, I think it is in Season 4, where George and Jerry presents an idea for a sitcom to NBC executives. George comes up with an idea for a sitcom and it’s about ‘Nothing’. They were basically referring to ‘Seinfeld’ inside a ‘Seinfeld’ episode. Think about Seinfeld, ‘What is it really about?’ The show is about nothing. Four main characters and random conversation at different places. Well, that got curated. Taking inspiration from my Guru Mr.Costanza, here I am with an article about ‘Nothing’.

This article has nothing to say, nothing to convey, it evokes nothing: no emotions or persuasion. Can you sit through such articles, read it even if you cannot take away anything from it? Makes me think, what is the purpose of articles? If it is informational, I understand, it is useful to gain knowledge about something. What about the personal experiences, like break-ups, depression, relationships, blah, blah, blah? I read such articles and I take nothing back, but I give empathy. I give! I think that is important. If you can empathize with my desperate attempt, and take time to read my article about ‘Nothing’, wouldn’t that be something?

I Am Getting More Sleep, Theoretically!

I am on medication now, because I was getting less than three hours of sleep every day. Now on paper, I get more sleep, but on satisfaction levels, it is still the same. I wake up tired and has nothing good to look forward to. Basically I feel ‘Nothing’. ‘Nothing’ to watch anymore, ‘Nothing’ to read anymore, ‘Nothing’ to look forward to anymore. ‘Nothing’ excites me anymore!

Dead Friends Society!

Conversation with my friends were mostly about girls, movies, bikes and cars. Now we talk about depression, guilt, marriage, family and a chain of other depressing topics. Every group call reminds me of a book that I have read a long time back, ‘Three Men in a boat’! We are a bunch of men nearing our thirties, worrying about life! I am sick of it!. We used to share pictures of hot ladies and porn, now all we post are Murakami quotes! Fifteen minutes into the conversation, and we have nothing more to say, Nothing!

Postscript

I cannot ‘not feel’ nothing, they say it is impossible, unless nothing itself is a feeling. It can be, right?

Imagine going to a Psychologist and you say, “Hi Mr.Thomas, I cannot feel anything”

And Mr.Thomas goes, “Oh boy! Don’t worry, it is just the beginning. Nothing is a feeling when you feel nothing”

“So can I have some medication to solve this?”

“Oh, never bother. There is nothing. All you can do is hold onto something. You understand ?”

Confused…scratching your head…crickets chirping…“Nothing”

“Well, I guess you are good to go. Hope to never see you again”