My Transgender Manifesto Revisited
It helps me every time

I wrote this over two years ago when I was at the lowest point of my gender journey. I had just been diagnosed the previous year by two psychologists and a psychiatrist independently. Their diagnoses were the same.
Without question I was transgender.
Over a year later I was still in deep denial. I was still very transphobic. I was filled with self-loathing. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Yet I knew I was and I tore myself apart 24/7 because of it.
Finally, the more enlightened part of me started to fight back. It was a fight for survival, mine. In the process I wrote this manifesto. It wrote itself and it came from my heart and roared from my soul. Even I reread it because I am not done with being cruel to myself and I need its constant reminder.
It helps me every time.
I hope it helps others. I hope it helps you.
**********My Transgender Manifesto************

- I will no longer be ashamed of being transgender.
- I will no longer feel any guilt nor will I let anyone make me feel guilty. This is not a choice for me. They can choose to leave me but I can’t. It is who and what I am. Everyone else will need to accept it.
- I will change whatever I need to feel like me. It is not vanity; I need to be able to finally see me.
- I will stop being mean to myself. I am a good person and I deserve to be treated better by me.
- I will like myself. I have so many good qualities. I need to see them and value them.
- I will do all I can to help everyone in my life understand. Society has kept them as blind has it has kept me about the truth of what being transgender is.
- I will laugh. Transition can be fun if I am willing to laugh at myself and see the humor that transitioning is bringing to my life.
- I will not internalize the haters or the ignorant.
- I will fight for acceptance. I am worthy and I bring worth to the world.
- I will not be bullied.
- I will expect to be treated equally and with respect. This is not negotiable.
- I will accept my imperfections.
- I will be happy. I waited a lifetime to get here.
- I will have joy and will share it with anyone who will let me.
Dedicated to all my transgender friends who helped me get here. I found out I am never alone.
Emma Holiday
Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.
My writing has three specific goals:
1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.
2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.
3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.
Thank you for reading my work.
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