My Toxic Girlfriend Made Me Rich

I was literally her ATM

I was driving and My dad was in the passenger seat.

We were on a street that had multiple shops and stores. My dad had me stop so that he can converse with a friend.

He got out of the car, went with his friend, and told me to wait.

As I waited, I glanced in a different direction. I saw a beautiful lady. She was seated on a chair glazing in a different direction as if she hadn’t seen me or wasn’t interested.

It was a long time since I had seen such a beautiful woman. I spend most of my time indoors.

Shooting My Shot

I didn’t hurry it. Hurry hurry has no blessings.

I wasn’t convinced to approach her. I had to figure out what she was up to and whether shooting my shot was safe.

Soon, I realized she wasn’t up to anything. She was just relaxing all by herself.

The more my dad delayed, the more I looked at her. Sometimes our eyes would meet and both of us would pretend as if we hadn’t seen each other.

I had to take the chance, my brain echoed, bro! what are you waiting for?

I took the chance, went sat close to her, and greeted her. I told her she got me interested and asked her name. She politely responded. We talked a little more then I asked for her number.

At first, she didn’t seem sure but soon after agreed. I got her number and was elated. And Boom! I had gotten myself a girlfriend.

The Love Story, Invisible Red Flags

We kissed on the first date, had fun on the second date and she agreed to be my girlfriend on the third date.

I had a girl I could call mine. Love was in the air. I never missed a good morning text or a goodnight text. It was a great feeling.

A week didn’t even pass, a few days after agreeing to be my girlfriend, things I didn’t expect started happening. They should have been red flags but love had blinded me.

“Love is blind.”

She would ask me for money at an inconsiderate rate. And dumb me all I did was give. Not even a question.

Three days wouldn’t even pass, it would be the next day or the day after that. Hair money, manicure money, shoe money, clothes money, etc.

It appeared unusual but I didn’t suspect anything. The girl I had before her wasn’t like that. I would give her money at will. She didn’t have to ask. That happened like once a week on top of treats and other nice things.

I thought maybe this other girl rolls that way, people are different. Little did I know I was blind.

Since the relationship was new, we spent a lot of time together. When we separate after hanging out that’s when she made her demands. This trend continued for like a month. Then I made a huge mistake.

An Insult to an Injury

Even after a month, I hadn’t noted something was off. I was suspecting but wasn’t convinced. I pushed the thought out of my mind.

It felt better to enjoy love than to think of the money I had lost.

So I focused on that, having fun and enjoying the moment. Soon after I did the unexpected, the unbelievable, something I shouldn’t have done.

I quit my work and started traveling with her. Expenses were on me.

Since I wasn’t working, I was chewing on my savings. We traveled for like two months. In those two months, I barely opened my laptop.

I had to wake up from the dream and quite the traveling BS. I wasn’t super accomplished. Just a young man in his mid-twenties.

What woke me was my bank account balance. It was low to the extent that was so unacceptable to me.

“We are the lowest version of ourselves that we accept.”—Sam Ovens

I stopped the traveling. In my mind, the plan was we shift gears. Since we’ve traveled together, we start hustling together.

Fooling Myself, Moving In

There were numerous ways we could both get productive. Mine was defined, hers wasn’t. To get back to work, all I had to do was power my laptop.

In her case she was unemployed. She didn’t have any solid skills. When I knew her, she assisted in a family business. In the few months we had known each other, her family decided to close the business. She was left unemployed.

I didn’t want to define a path for her. I wanted her to pick whatever she liked. To curve her own path. I wanted to see her attitude and aggressiveness.

She moved in. We hadn’t sat down and agreed on it. But it kind of happened.

The first few days were lean, which was kind of okay as we adapt to changes. Wasn’t doing much but was showing up almost every day. On her end, she didn’t do much. She was yet to find something to focus on.

Netflix and Chill

As time passed, the mood started changing. The grit mindest was fading by the minute.

It seemed like we were low-key on a holiday. She would spend the whole day on Tik Tok and Netflix. I would work for a few hours and then join her. If we weren’t on Netflix and Tik Tok, we were in bed cuddling.

The hours I was working kept going down. On some days, I wasn’t showing up at all. It was Netflix and Chill. Grabbing fast foods and going back where we left off.

Nail on wound

As this was happening, bills were accumulating. She expected me to cater to her financial needs and luxuries. I did. Her appetite for money was still the same.

Her demanding rate was still high. Worse, I wasn’t working. Her presence not only affected my finances but also my ability to work.

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” — Turkish Proverb

There was an energy conflict. My job was difficult. It was easier to join her in bed than to show up to work. Her energy consumed mine.

By this time, the grit mindset was dead. I was getting broke by the minute. Lowkey, I wasn’t at peace.

Trying To Take Control

Up to this point, I hadn’t failed her even once. Everything she demanded I provided. I then failed her for the first time.

It wasn’t intentional but it felt necessary. She didn’t take it nicely. It seemed like something she hadn’t expected. No one is perfect, I wonder how she expected me to be perfect.

Prior to that, I was literally her ATM machine. Everything she wanted she got. I was suspecting saying no would have a cold reception.

The Betrayals

A day later, it hit me. Since we started dating I hadn’t checked her phone. I wasn’t even sure if she was loyal. I then decided to, she had left her phone and was away for a while.

What I found shocked me. I was flabbergasted. Failing her once got her chatting to other niggas on the DM including her EXs. She was looking for someone who could give what I didn’t.

The very first time I failed her she was out and about. I questioned her and whatnot, that part was ugly I don’t want to remember it. She asked for forgiveness and I forgave her. We agreed it would be the first and the last time.

Barely a week after, I decided to fail her again. I felt like not digging deeper into my saving. A way of taking control of my finances. She acted fine but I felt it wasn’t fine.

A few days passed and I coincidentally checked her phone again. Boom! I was met with another surprise. Convinced I was broke, she was flirting with other men.

I then noticed a pattern. All the men she was flirting with seemed more accomplished than I was. They had achieved financial freedom with huge businesses.

Despite having funds for fun. I didn’t consider myself to be financially free. Her actions pissed me off badly.

I knew I could never get a woman to respect me or the woman of my dreams in the current state I was in. I had to level up immediately.

Breaking Up

I bitterly broke up with her and set out to fix my problem. It was super necessary. There was no other way. The other option was to settle and be an incomplete man.

Couldn’t settle for that. It felt totally unacceptable to me.

In the next week, I worked my butt off. In a way, I had never in my life. Working every waking hour. Sleeping a few hours.

Jokingly, results started showing. In three weeks, I had almost recovered the money I had spent with her.

In the next three weeks, my bank account was triple what it was when I knew her. I wasn’t stopping, I kept pushing myself. I had made full recovery and my finances were healthy like they’ve never been.

I was on my path to getting rich. The ordeal taught me something I didn’t know about myself. When success becomes absolutely necessary, there is no other way.

I newer better version of me was unlocked. A hard-working version that is hungry to conquer the world.

That version has achieved everything it set out to. It’s rich, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and somewhat financially. Of course, being rich has no ceiling but I can consider myself above.

Sometimes we need more darkness to shine brighter. It can be the missing part of the puzzle that we need.