My Top 10 Jokes On Conspiracy Theories
Just laughing my head off as it is the only way to survive!
Did you know that you can book a flat earther cruise for May 2020? This is to show that the earth is flat so why not book now! The crazy idea is to show that there is no risk at all of the ship falling off the edge which would be the logical conclusion of their belief.
Guess what? There is absolutely no risk of that happening because Antarctica is a giant wall of ice and that will stop the ship from falling off!
But the Flat Earthers have denied that there is any cruise planned. The Flat Earth International Conference (FEIC) founder Robbie Davidson says:-
“There’s no credibility to it… it’s not going to happen. It’s frustrating… when I see all sorts of media running a story I know is blatantly false.”
Now now, don’t laugh out loud. We all know the risks of fake news and conspiracy theories, don’t we?
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” George Carlin
It was at this point, I stopped trying to be serious and I have chosen my 10 favorite conspiracy theory/flat-earth/climate change jokes.
Let’s face it.
Laughter is the only option now.
1. Someone asked me if I was one of those conspiracy theorists
I replied, “why, who are you working for?”
2. Can we stop the conspiracy theories on Epstein’s death? It was a normal suicide because he had nothing to live for.
“This post is supported and paid for by the Clinton Foundation”
3. Conspiracy theorists in a nutshell
“I’m kinda scared for the year 2020 because 2+0+2+0 = 4. which is the exact number of nipples Hitler would’ve had if he had 2 extra nipples.”
4. There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
“I’d like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.”
5. What's worse than 10,000 conspiracy theories?
1 real conspiracy.
6. If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming. It’s a real icebreaker.
7. The first conclusive proof of global warming just happened. Recently on a cold, crisp day, a farmer in Iowa went out to check his crops and found 150 acres of popped popcorn.
8. You know global warming is real when… * You can say “110 degrees” without fainting. * You realize asphalt has a liquid state. * A rancher tells you he wishes it would rain, not for himself because he’s seen it, but for his 7-year-old. * You go to McDonald's to get coffee and pour it on your lap — just to cool off!
9. “The majority of frogs in most areas of the United States are now gay,” Alex Jones (2017).
10. Just a coincidence?
If you need more laughs check out my new book The Brits Are Bonkers
