COMICS

My Time Machine Actually Works!

I have seen the future

As crazy as it sounds, a fridge really does work as a time machine. And so does a bathtub, a sofa, or a trash bag. In fact, pretty much anything works.

This whole planet on which we’re riding works too! It’s how I traveled all the way from the 1980s to the year 2022. It just took me over 30 years to get here.

And, boy, the future is way different from what I expected.

At first, I thought I had made a mistake. I thought I had traveled into the past. After all, there were no flying cars or jetpacks in sight. Instead, there was just a plague and a tyrant who recently invaded a sovereign country in a bout of imperial madness.

But then I noticed people generally didn’t have rotten teeth nor did they smell like dung. So, no, I wasn’t in the Middle Ages.

In fact, when I started taking a closer look, I knew I had arrived in the future. For instance, people carry around little pocket computers that give them instant access to pretty much all the knowledge of humankind. What? No, they don’t use this advanced technology to solve world hunger. They use it to look at cats making funny faces. Sometimes they also use it to instantly send messages to the president of the United States or the richest man ever.

Huh? What do they ask these powerful men? Well, from what I can tell, they don’t ask them anything. Instead, they either insult or worship them.

Moon bases? No, they don’t have any of those. But they put a mannequin in a spacesuit, put it behind the wheel of a sports car, and then shot that sports car into outer space. Why? Beats me.

What else? Huh… I guess that’s about it. The rest is pretty much still like in the 1980s — minus the hairspray.

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