Summary

The web content discusses the personal journey of transitioning as a transgender individual, emphasizing the importance of courage, confidence, and conviction in overcoming the challenges faced due to societal bullies and personal struggles with gender dysphoria.

Abstract

The article titled "My Three Transgender Cs: Courage, Confidence & Conviction" delves into the author's experience with the adversity faced during the process of transitioning. The author, Emma Holiday, reflects on the necessity of personal courage to survive the metaphorical schoolyard bullies of life, which in the context of being transgender, can feel like an overwhelming force. The piece underscores the development of quiet courage that supports taking the next step forward, regardless of how small. Confidence is depicted as akin to walking an emotional tightrope, where each step builds upon the last, and looking back is more perilous than moving forward. Conviction is portrayed as the internal cheering squad that helps one overcome doubt and uncertainty. The author acknowledges the loneliness of the transitioning experience and the power of gender dysphoria, while also asserting that transitioning is a testament to personal truth and resilience. The article serves as a form of therapy for the author, aiming to connect with other transgender individuals and to foster understanding and acceptance from cisgender readers.

Opinions

The author expresses a strong dislike for bullies and admires those who stand up to them, even at the cost of getting bruised.
Being transgender and transitioning is likened to facing an entire gang of bullies, necessitating the finding of one's own courage, confidence, and conviction.
Courage is described as a quiet force that has one's back during challenging times, enabling progression even in the face of fear.
Confidence is seen as something that grows with each successful step taken during the transition, requiring a focus on moving forward rather than dwelling on the past.
Conviction is considered crucial for overcoming the constant uncertainty and doubt that accompany the transitioning process.
The author believes that gender dysphoria is an immensely powerful force, the strength of which is evidenced by the commitment to transition despite its challenges.
The article emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the personal truth of one's gender identity, advocating for the right to live authentically despite societal pressures or personal sacrifices.
Emma Holiday writes with the intention to process personal experiences, provide solace to other transgender individuals, and educate cisgender people on the transgender experience to foster greater understanding and acceptance.

My Three Transgender Cs: Courage, Confidence & Conviction

On school yard bullies

Life can be a bully if you let it

I hate school yard bullies. I love to see them get a bloody nose. You have to be willing to get a few bruises if you want to be the person to punch them in the nose.

Being transgender and transitioning can feel like being attacked by an entire gang of bullies. Anyone who is transgender must find their own courage, conviction and confidence to fight back.

Courage

If you don’t have it when you start, you will find it out of necessity to survive. It is remarkable how much I learned about personal courage as I have transitioned both within myself and from so many others with whom I have shared this path. It is quiet. It doesn’t need to scream its presence like fear does. It has your back when you need it most. It allows you to unfreeze and make that next step forward, no matter how small a step it is. It is not in the moment but in the choice over your life. It is heroic as any act I have ever witnessed.

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” Amelia Earhart

Confidence

To transition you need to step out onto the emotional tightrope, putting one foot in front of the other, drawing confidence from the success of each prior step. Not looking back but continuing to put your next step forward. It is scary and the rope may be shaky but to go backwards can be even more perilous. Always look forward.

“My beauty is not about how I look. My beauty is about my heart and soul.” Laverne Cox

Conviction

You need to have enough certitude to overcome constant uncertainty and doubt. They are huge obstacles but you need to have your own internal cheering squad rooting you on to achieve what, in your heart, you know you want.

You need to believe in yourself, knowing that you will be alone most of the time with your thoughts and fears. Having your conviction will help contain your fears so that you continue to move forward.

“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.” Helen Keller

It is so easy to give into the fear and doubts we all have. They can be the annihilator of dreams if you let them. We all carry them. Know that they will always be there. Don’t let them control you, you control them.

In your heart you need to hold on to the fact that you are doing all you can to keep those you love in your life . How can anyone expect more? Sadly, some of those in our life want more. They want you to stay as they need you to be. To them, you need to say, it is your life, your decision and, ultimately, it is your pain to heal.

I googled the question: “why is gender dysphoria so powerful?” and received no effective answer that I can embrace other than this simple fact: “It just is.”

The fact that I haven’t stop my transition (to what, is still a question) is a testament to the strength of gender dysphoria and, possibly, to my sense of knowing that this is my path and ultimately my personal truth.

It’s the best I can do.

Stay strong, have confidence in yourself and who you are, and have the conviction to know your heart and soul better than anyone else.

You got this.

Emma Holiday

Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.

My writing has three specific goals:

1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.

2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.

3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.

Thank you for reading my work.

Please also read:

The Transgender Pain

The Pain

emmah1017.medium.com