My Thoughts

And how they run away with me..

As a child, I remember listening to my family, friends, relatives, and what they said was of significance to me. I adopted the thoughts I was exposed to and had the same likes, dislikes and opinion as them.

Books exposed me to others thoughts and interpretations of situations. I learnt about the diverse lifestyles, ideas and cultures from the books I read. Reading books about people living in remote parts of the world, their adventures and challenges all made me aware of the significance of rationalising and thinking for oneself.

Within a family, we might have physical similarities and mannerisms, but our reactions to situations may differ. During school years, one sibling may be ambitious and a high achiever; the other may be a daydreamer who is easily distracted.

Surprisingly many a time, it is the daydreamer who is more successful in life as she does not follow the set pattern. There are lesser expectations of her and hence less stress. She has the freedom and liberty to experiment and follow her passion as her family could not control her action and thoughts.

All of us have a variety of thoughts. Sometimes we are full of optimism and positivity. Our thoughts control our mood, conversation, actions and impact everyone around us.

Positivity and optimism can sometimes make impossible tasks feasible. So many terminally ill patients miraculously recover if they have the will power and are positive.

If you have a positive attitude, the situation will not defeat your intent, and you will emerge wiser and resilient.

There are bound to be days and situations that occasionally lead us to negative thoughts. Loss of a loved one or a job, failure in an exam, or financial losses could be a trigger that steers a person into negative thoughts.

Sometimes we can’t control our thoughts. Negative thoughts need to be banished as they can be destructive and the cause of unhappiness in a family.

As a professional, I was robust, practical and pragmatic in all my relationships. I accepted and even celebrated change, looking forward to new experiences, people and growth. I was always positive, never over thought things and lived in the moment.

Post-retirement, I find I have changed. Suddenly I am more emotional and opposed to changes. I now want my family and friends in the vicinity and cringe every time somebody moves out.

Maybe this has something to do with ageing or my hormones playing up.

Have I become emotionally fragile and more sensitive?

Whatever it is, it takes me a couple of days to get back on track.

I struggle with my thoughts, find myself low on energy and appetite. I convince myself to count my blessings and be grateful for all that I have.

A few restless nights, a good cry that sorts me out, staying busy and distracting myself, I snap out of despair.

I know from experience that the future is unknown and what seems like the end of my world today will be irrelevant tomorrow.

We all need anchors in life.

We all need that one person; a friend in whom we can confide and reveal our weaknesses and not hesitate to bare our soul.

A person who enjoys the same sensitivity and has the patience to listen, understand and is willing to talk and get you out of the doldrums.

We all need a person who will help still your thoughts and get you back on track.

A family member may not be the right choice as you need someone who does not directly get impacted by your moods or is wary of accepting your shortcomings.

I have a friend I continuously turn to, who I know will not misjudge me or see me as selfish in my demands. She never ridicules my insecurities and very quickly talks me out of my blues.

We may not be able to control others, but we do have the ability to control our thoughts, actions, reactions, choices, words and our future.

Our happiness is not dependent on others. It is within us, and in our thoughts, so it is essential that you,

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”