My Thanksgiving Was Not Traditional
Why giving thanks is essential on any day of the year.
In my youth, the holidays were filled with food and music. My mother and her four sisters loved good Blues and food. It was part of who they were. Every Thanksgiving, my mother stood over a colossal gumbo pot and worked her magic. The ingredients varied from sausage to shrimp. The smell of this delectable dish was mingled with the hollas and guitar strums of great Bluesmen who spoke their tales into the smoky atmosphere of my home.
She stood over her pots like they were her children, and she fed them the right stuff to make them coo in delight. I watched her sway and ripple to the music with fascination each holiday.
It was the tradition until death stole her from me at the age of 59. I tried to keep the culture of food, blues, and love alive each Thanksgiving. However, I could never quite do it like her because, like all humans, she was unique and held her special place in the world.
However, in recent years, my family’s Thanksgiving holiday has taken on a slightly different appearance. We don’t celebrate the holiday on Thursday as intended. Instead, we don’t do anything special. My younger children were at their granny’s, and my oldest was spending time with his girlfriend. Therefore, it was my wife and me the entire holiday this year. It may sound strange to some but for us, it works.
The reason for this change is because eight years ago, we received the blessing of our last child. He is our miracle. My wife’s pregnancy was as typical as her last two. All her checkups were perfect, and we were happy and couldn’t wait to meet our new little man. But the universe had other plans. Life is unpredictable, and on occasions, we fall victim to its whims.
In the early summer of 2011, I was wrapping up a temporary assignment as principal at an elementary school. I was completing my goodbyes to the staff when my cell rang. It was my wife. She sounded distressed, so I asked, “baby, what’s wrong? Are you and the baby okay?”
In a hurried tone, she explained to me she was rushing to the hospital because the baby’s heartbeat was nearly undetectable, and her amniotic fluid had doubled. It’s safe to say the situation was dire.
Several hours later, he was born blue and gasping for breath. He spent four months in the hospital before a heart transplant saved his life. We are eternally grateful to the medical staff and the Ronald McDonald House. As its motto states, it’s indeed the house love built.
When our son came home in October of 2011, the holidays were far off our radar. We were happy to have our baby home, and nothing else really mattered. As time progressed, we did discuss Thanksgiving 2011. However, the traditional fried turkey I made along with my late mother’s cornbread dressing seemed inconsequential, considering what we had experienced in the last several months.
We decided to fry catfish and make potato salad. There was no cranberry sauce, dressing, mashed potatoes, or traditional desserts. We ate on a Friday and gave thanks to God for our son. After that year, the day we gave thanks became insignificant. What does it matter when we celebrate our gratefulness.
We told a few friends who seemed surprised at our non-traditional celebration, but friends and family don’t truly understand unless it happens to them. Truthfully we didn’t comprehend the depths of childhood illness until it visited our family.
This particular year we had Thanksgiving on Saturday instead of the traditional Thursday. It was just as meaningful, if not more. Our year as a family had its challenges because of money issues and my daughter’s bipolar condition. There were several times in this last year, life pushed us to the ground, but we persevered through faith and prayer.
Some may find this interesting, but we are grateful for the difficult times we’ve endured these past eight years. Why? Because of the strength we developed. We gained an unshakable resolve because of the struggle. You really can’t know how strong you are unless real struggle visits you and stays awhile. My marriage became stronger because of the issues life tossed at us. We came together and didn’t ever drift apart. Our seas were rough, but our ship stayed afloat. I thank God for that.
Give thanks every day you open your eyes to a new day. If your family is healthy and life is going well, give thanks. If trouble is visiting you at this very moment, stay strong because trying times don’t last forever. And when the storm does dissipate, give thanks and love one another.
If life does get in the way, have an unconventional holiday and be happy. Peace Y’all
Estacious(Charles White) is a 23-year educator. He began writing over 25 years ago. His work experience encompasses managing schools and teaching a variety of subjects. His passions are poetry, short fiction, playwrighting, and non-fiction. He won one of six prizes in the Rockford play festival for his play “Incarcerated Christmas”. He is married with three children and a native of New Orleans.
