My Tax Dollars At Work

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Abstract

’t do museums, nightlife (anymore), or restaurants. The facets of city life that have people so enamored are completely lost on me. What was the point? I’m happy to say that I have now found a way (or two ways) to amortize the expenditure of all that tax money.The first is Doordashing. I love a business with virtually no expenses. Most dashers suffer car repairs and especially, gasoline bills to eat into their earnings. But if you live in a congested city? Leg power is all you need along with a bike I already owned. Expensewise, I haven’t spent over $100 maintaining a bike with which I’ve earned 10k. Were I not in New York (and paying those ridiculous tax bills), I could never net what I do here in the big city if I dashed in a rural area. I count that as a city victory — and a reason to live in the Big Apple.Next is free food. I’m not that guy who seduces women with my abilities as a chef. And I don't want to cook food at home — nor order out. As a volunteer at shelters and churches, I became acutely aware of how much food hungry New Yorkers can score free-of-charge. And I know where to get it!As such, my refrigerator suffers more oft

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en from being overstuffed than it does being empty. Nobody goes hungry in New York unless they want to. There are just so many ways to get and places to go for free food. And if the homeless turn you off — but geezers don’t? New York has a Department For The Aging which boasts senior centers where halfway decent balanced meals are a buck or two. But out in the country where there are no city taxes? You gotta buy your food. And spend gas money to go get it!The point is that hell or high water, I’m gonna get my 4k’s worth if I’m to remain a resident of New York City. You can have your museums. And your fancy restaurants. And you’re millennial-filled chic clubs. You can find me at the Grab and Go senior center — or delivering food to swells who don’t care about saving what they earn — or just earn so much that ordering out for a candy bar and Gatorade for $20 doesn’t matter to them.I’m good to go. Got beers, a meatloaf dinner, and chicken fajitas in the fridge. And all ready for consumption with two minutes’ notice. City life. Gotta love it. And if I get bored? Turn on the phone and take a paid ride. Who says I can’t get my 4k’s worth?</article></body>

I found a way to amortize

Fresh out of prison — and with 1/3rd of my considerable life savings returned to me pursuant to my plea deal — I was left with no need for employment and not much to do. Not being a city guy by nature (even if I’ve lived in New York City for 45 years), I decided it was time to move to the country.

But then came the Covid era and a preposterous price hike in country real estate that seriously cooled my jets on that front. But still, I thought to myself, “I’m paying $4000 a year in New York City taxes. And for what?”

Once my cab-driving and ad-selling days were over, there was little to no point in me living here. I don’t do museums, nightlife (anymore), or restaurants. The facets of city life that have people so enamored are completely lost on me. What was the point? I’m happy to say that I have now found a way (or two ways) to amortize the expenditure of all that tax money.

The first is Doordashing. I love a business with virtually no expenses. Most dashers suffer car repairs and especially, gasoline bills to eat into their earnings. But if you live in a congested city? Leg power is all you need along with a bike I already owned. Expensewise, I haven’t spent over $100 maintaining a bike with which I’ve earned 10k. Were I not in New York (and paying those ridiculous tax bills), I could never net what I do here in the big city if I dashed in a rural area. I count that as a city victory — and a reason to live in the Big Apple.

Next is free food. I’m not that guy who seduces women with my abilities as a chef. And I don't want to cook food at home — nor order out. As a volunteer at shelters and churches, I became acutely aware of how much food hungry New Yorkers can score free-of-charge. And I know where to get it!

As such, my refrigerator suffers more often from being overstuffed than it does being empty. Nobody goes hungry in New York unless they want to. There are just so many ways to get and places to go for free food. And if the homeless turn you off — but geezers don’t? New York has a Department For The Aging which boasts senior centers where halfway decent balanced meals are a buck or two. But out in the country where there are no city taxes? You gotta buy your food. And spend gas money to go get it!

The point is that hell or high water, I’m gonna get my 4k’s worth if I’m to remain a resident of New York City. You can have your museums. And your fancy restaurants. And you’re millennial-filled chic clubs. You can find me at the Grab and Go senior center — or delivering food to swells who don’t care about saving what they earn — or just earn so much that ordering out for a candy bar and Gatorade for $20 doesn’t matter to them.

I’m good to go. Got beers, a meatloaf dinner, and chicken fajitas in the fridge. And all ready for consumption with two minutes’ notice. City life. Gotta love it. And if I get bored? Turn on the phone and take a paid ride. Who says I can’t get my 4k’s worth?