My striptease video is out on the web!

I do not want to reveal myself as a writer of erotica, but my striptease video is now public!

I’ve written elsewhere about not wanting to reveal myself as a writer of erotica as, in my ‘real’ life, I have a professional career that would be swiftly curtailed if it was discovered that I write dark erotica, as well as stories about nude self-dares and the like. Not to mention articles about sex! My OH (who knows, but does not approve) and the rest of our families would be less than delighted as well!

For that reason, I use a profile picture that, while it bears a passing resemblance to me, is not going to be subject to a reverse image search. No one is going to be able to say, “Aha! Dianne Herbert is actually a pseudonym for…” Nope. Not going to happen.

All of my nude pictures and videos are kept very carefully apart from this side of my life. I’m a child of modern times, so of course they exist! I don’t want them coming out into the public realm, but, taken alone and separated from my writing, while it would be awful to be seen in those, I’d probably survive.

There is though, a video of me performing a striptease available on the web. Did that get your attention? I thought so!

I’ve always been careful with boyfriends about when and how they took pictures and videos of me (and of us together during sex) and to make sure that I kept the results under my control. Most guys have been fine with that. Women are scared of their sexualised images getting released, the men less so in my experience. When younger, I didn’t want to be seen as a trophy and those pictures to be shared around. Now my career and current OH would be both put at risk if all of that history came out.

At first, I kept things on a memory stick that I hid away, and then I started using online storage. I’d pull them out for viewing at appropriate times, but not hand them over. Just in case copies were made and spread to ‘just’ a friend or two. (Or three or four…)

One time when a guy was away on a trip, I performed a striptease for him. It’s about the only thing involving female porn that I find erotic to watch myself, and I wanted to give it a try. I did this live and recorded it myself at the same time. I hadn’t realised though quite how easy it was for him to hit record on his machine. Video conferencing has become second nature over the last few years, but it was still new to me back then.

The show went brilliantly — if I say so myself — and concluded to our mutual satisfaction. I was horny as hell going into the performance otherwise I don’t think I could have gone ahead. He wasn’t expecting anything other than a chat, so I didn’t have to do it, I could have just not said anything — but I’d been edging all day and building it up in my mind. Horny Dianne will do a lot of sexy, risky, stupid, things that rational Dianne wouldn’t dream of!

I was naked and dripping by the end of the five minutes or so that the striptease had gone on, and it was very clear from the image at his end that he was ready for action as well. We touched ourselves and talked about what we’d like to do to the other — and have done to us. What we would plan for the weekend on his return. The evening was a complete success, and all of my objectives were achieved.

About five years later, a friend said that her boyfriend had shown her a video of a girl that looked a lot like me doing a striptease. She didn’t like him looking at other girls online, but when he’d seen this one he had passed it over to her. She watched it and called and offered to send me a couple of screenshots so I could take a look, although she acknowledged it was a bit weird offering to show me another woman taking her clothes off!

At this point, I didn’t have any real suspicion of what I would see. No premonitions, no hair standing up on the back of my neck or anything. Given the number of girls in the world there were bound to be a number that look like me. At some point, some of these would be filmed doing sexy things. It was just a numbers game really.

Except, of course, it wasn’t. As soon as I opened the first JPEG the world started spinning, and I had to quickly dump the laptop on the bed and rush to the bathroom to throw up. That was me. There was no question about it even from the single second I’d seen. My striptease was available online for perverts like my friend’s bloke to watch.

When she’d called, she had mentioned in passing the name of the site that this had been on, and it was one I recognised. I didn’t look at porn often but believed that this was one of the world’s biggest and had something for everyone, no matter what their kink. I’d found a few things on there that had worked for me in the past.

She — or her boyfriend — had labelled the image, and I quickly put the name of it into the porn site’s search engine. And there it was. Five minutes plus of a “sexy 18-year-old student striptease” as it called it. I’d not been 18 at the time, nor a student, but I suppose that those tags were to entice people in. It had only been posted for about six weeks, yet the view count was over four thousand. 742 likes, and 13 dislikes. That last one seemed one hell of a cheek! What the heck was there for them to dislike about my naked body being revealed!

I watched it from beginning to end, adding one to the view count. I wanted to know what was out there. At the end it seemed bizarre to be grateful, but I was. Grateful that only the striptease itself was up on the site. The masturbation that followed was not included in the clip and, on looking at the profile of the person who had uploaded it, there was nothing else of me to be seen there.

I emailed the person concerned to try and find out where they had got the footage from because, as far as I was concerned, I had the only copy and it was stored online. The next step was to look there, but everything was as it should be. As I expected it to be. If all of my videos and pictures had been taken that would be obvious, but I could also see that no one, meaning me, had accessed those files for months. If it hadn’t come from me, then there was only one other possible source.

To be fair to my ex, he admitted it as soon as I asked. At least he admitted having recorded it, but claimed it had only happened that one time. He also admitted to having watched it on a regular basis for some time after we’d broken up, right up until his laptop died. He’d not backed up any of his files and had lost everything, but I didn’t care about his documents. The machine had gone off to some recycling charity, and he’d bought a replacement.

I put the phone down on him at that point. There was nothing else to say, and screaming names at him down the phone wasn’t going to do me any good. Whatever had gone wrong with his machine it had obviously not been terminal. A few years ago someone had gained access to at least some of those files, and, eventually, this had made its way to the web.

I felt sick again. Violated. The bastard had watched my striptease for a couple of years after we’d split, and that was just wrong. And now over four thousand men, at least I assumed that they were men, had seen me naked. Not only that but dancing erotically for them, even blowing a kiss to them at the end. It was a damn good strip, one that I’d been proud of. Not proud enough to show it to the whole flipping world though!

I sent a message to the web hosts letting them know that there was an issue with that video, that it was mine, and that I wanted it taken down. There was nothing on any FAQs to let me know how long that would take, but it was going to be days at least. More likely weeks. More thousands to enjoy my body.

Google showed me a variety of pages about revenge porn and how to get things taken down, and I saved some of those to look into further. I didn’t know if I’d be able to get to the original though if it wasn’t from this user. I might stop it here, for it to pop up again elsewhere — like some sort of porn hydra.

Using the JPEG I did some reverse image searches to see if it was also on other sites but found nothing at all, not even the one that I knew existed for certain. Presumably, it was too new to have been indexed as yet, which seemed a good sign. If it was just here, on this one site, I could, maybe, stop it from going any further.

Next on my mental list of things to do was lie. Back then I’d had a different hairstyle, lived in a different city, and didn’t know the girlfriend that had sent this through, which would make this easier. I called and told her that I’d watched the video and was amazed at how much that girl had looked like me.

She obviously had a different vibe to me, with the haircut and, well, the lack of hair in places. Also, from the appearance of the room, it looked like she was maybe in Sweden or one of the Nordic countries. Something about the furniture gave me that impression. We talked a little about the odds of finding a doppelganger of yours and then made arrangements to meet up for a coffee.

What I also decided was to never go swimming, or to a beach, with this girl, or her boyfriend for that matter. Somewhere in there the moles on the video girl’s body had come up, and we’d agreed that she would be easy to spot if any other similar appearances were found online. A couple of prominent ones were quite obvious once she was in the nude, and even if part of her showed up somewhere then she might be recognised.

As we’d talked I’d lifted my t-shirt and looked down at my torso. They were quite obvious. Under a one-piece, I’d get away with it with her, at least from the front, but if she saw me getting changed… nope. By far the safer option would be to not risk it.

The video was eventually taken down by the site. And a few months later it was up on another. Since that point it has been like a whack-a-mole game. As soon as I get it taken down in one location, it is back in another. No one has even made a connection to me again though, and I’m just thankful that the sex talk and masturbation that followed the stripping has never surfaced.

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