My Story Of The Veil As A Space Of Love And TrustBetween People.

I learned in my journey that veils bring space and happiness between people

I had to wear a veil at my wedding

I was getting married! The beautician who dressed me of course complimented me and looked at me admiring my look she exclaimed! “such a beautiful bride”!

My dress designer also looked at me and almost gaped at me. I asked her if I was terrible to look at earlier and am now transformed? “No No No”, she said “your look has enhanced. You are a very pretty bride”.

My mother looked in and was aghast! Where is your veil? Immediately wear it! Like a rebel, I answered that I was no old-fashioned woman to wear a long veil and not show my face in my own wedding.

My mother did not accept this and she said whether I liked it or not I would have to wear a veil.

Listening to her tone I did not want to disobey her but also did not want to wear it. I told her that men do not wear veils and since women wear them the first step to inequality begins.

The significance of a veil as portrayed to me

A veil is a piece of cloth worn on the head or face traditionally by men or women and has a history in Europe, Asia, and Africa as a mark of respect for elders. In some countries, veils are worn for religious reasons. As long as people understand the true meaning of a veil it is a good thing for it is a space created between yourself and others to think and speak.

My mother told me a story about veils that I want to share with you. She said that heavy veils used to at one time worn by women but now the veils are transparent and light and gives a message. All over the world women wear the veil at their wedding so that the evil spirit should not attack the bride.

The bride looks charming and creates an air of magic as the veil comes in between. A veil is symbolic. It is a space and an aura of love and trust.

In the olden days, women wore a veil from their elders in the family to create a space so that an elder could not have an affair with the woman in the family since joint families were prevalent in India and they all moved around in the same house it was to create a physical distance. I am not asking you to wear that veil. The veil has deeper thinking It is symbolic.

It shows self-thinking, self-understanding, and restraint from using words that are not suitable to speak about in public or in private. It is a light curtain between self and others where you think before you speak.

You wear a veil always! A thin layer between yourself and the other person with whom you are dealing in all relationships. It may be your parents-in-law, sisters or brothers-in-law, your cousins, your husband, friends, boss, colleagues, and everyone around you.

What does this layer signify? This gives space to yourself. It is between you and other people. This space will keep you on good terms with people and you will know how to talk to people. Be patient when you are ready to flare up with anger. At your workplace, people will be happy with you. Between you and your husband, the relationship will prosper and not recede and you will be in a win-win situation.

The veil need not be actual, it can be an imaginary line of demarcation. You must keep the space for yourself.

The practical applications of the veil.

My mother was a wise woman. I have used this technique of keeping a veil. Listening to people and what they want to say. I adjust and become a part of them very soon but I have set limits to myself.

I realized that I should not wear the shoes of other people. Each one has its own journey to go through. Help people, love people but distance yourself a little bit to have space between you and the other person.

I have a cherished relationship with many friends. Some to those who have been with me since my school days, college days, and later life. I look around and see that I have had friends for more than 40 years. I have never forgotten the lesson of the symbolic veil. It has kept me in check and given me self-resistance to act on the spur of the moment. I think and act and am fortunate to make friends. This has been a big lesson in my life!

The takeaways

#1. A veil is symbolic. It teaches you to give space to yourself and see whether what you speak has relevance.

#2. A veil gives you space in your relationships. In a house where you live with other people be it your own family, frictions do take place. Proper conduct and space by thinking of a veil will allow you to have a healthy relationship with your family by drawing a veil over the argument. You will use that space to build trust and happiness in your family.

#3. In working relationships keeping a little space with a symbolic veil will help you to conduct yourself and speak kindly to people. In return, you will get better teamwork and people will appreciate you. Some people talk unnecessarily in meetings and in the teams where discussions take place. They should be careful to remember that space is properly maintained and the team is comfortable with each other.

#4. A veil has a deeper meaning than just a piece of cloth on your head or your face. Both men and women should consider it as a symbolic layer of space between them that develops love and trust. They should take care to be careful and avoid talking about something because it is embarrassing or unpleasant for others.

#5. A veil has a deep meaning but often it is forgotten and used as a religious measure by being obstinate or unreasonable having a belief, or faction and prejudice against women on the basis of belonging to a particular group, family, caste, or religion and the true meaning gets lost.

To conclude

A veil may have many different meanings but the veil here is used symbolically giving it the meaning of space to yourself to speak with a considerable amount of restraint to create charm, bringing about love trust and harmony between people.

“Virtue has a veil, vice a mask.” Victor Hugo.

Hugo’s quotation struck me to think of the relevance of veils yet again. It means that the people who maintain good moral standards usually do not display their virtues. They hide it behind a veil of humility and those who have vices hide behind a mask.

©Dr. Preeti Singh, 2021.