My Son Was Kicked out of Summer Camp Today

Summary

A parent shares the challenges of finding suitable summer camp arrangements for their 6-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD and mild Autism, due to his behavioral issues and the lack of structure and specialized care at typical day camps.

Abstract

The author expresses the difficulties faced by parents of children with special needs during the summer, a time typically associated with carefree activities but fraught with anxiety for those requiring more structured environments. The child's diagnosis of ADHD and mild Autism has led to repeated instances of being asked to leave summer camps due to behaviors such as running away, hitting, and throwing objects. The parents, both working full-time, struggle to find adequate childcare that can accommodate their son's unique challenges. The article conveys a mix of frustration, longing for normalcy, and unconditional love, as the parent grapples with the reality of their situation while celebrating their son's remarkable qualities.

Opinions

The author feels that the stereotypical unstructured summer days can be disruptive for special-needs families.
There is a sentiment of helplessness as most summer camps are ill-equipped to handle children with behavioral challenges.
The parent yearns for a "normal" experience, where their child could attend summer camp without incident or the need for early pickup.
The author expresses a desire for their son to be able to blend in and not be singled out for his behavior.
Despite the difficulties, the parent acknowledges the joy and wonder their child brings into their life, indicating a deep love and appreciation for their son beyond his challenges.

It’s not the first time, and I fear it won’t be the last.

My 6 year-old son was diagnosed this year with ADHD and mild Autism.

Though the diagnosis and IEP support have given us some answers, I still feel anxious all the time. Especially in the summer.

Earlier in my parenting journey, I didn’t realize that summers can actually be the hardest time of year for parents of children with special needs.

The stereotype of summer for most kids is block parties, swimming pools, and lovely, unstructured days.

Yet that lack of structure can wreak havoc on a special-needs family.

My husband and I both work full-time jobs. In the city where we live, most working parents are stuck with piecing together expensive day camps and other summer activities to find childcare that barely covers a portion of the workday.

Unfortunately, most of these camps are far from ready to handle a child with behavior challenges.

My son has been kicked out of several camps for his behavior, and he was close to losing his spot in others. His behaviors included running away from camp repeatedly, hitting other kids, and throwing a table when he didn’t win at BINGO.

Most of the time, these camps tell me I need to tell my child to “be a better listener.”

Others tell me I should find a smaller camp setting for him (these don’t exist).

I get that all parents have their own challenges. But as the parent of a child with unique needs, I just yearn to be “normal.”

I want to send my child off to summer camp in the morning and not expect a call two hours later to pick him up.

I want to attend a birthday party without worrying my son will hurt the birthday boy.

I want to hire a babysitter who can get my kid to sleep.

And sometimes, I just want my son to be anonymous. I want him to blend in with all of the other kids, instead of every kid in the parking lot pointing at him and yelling “That’s him, mom! That’s the boy who hit me today!”

I know that part of every parent’s journey is grieving the life you wish you could have. I am not alone in this.

And the way I get through this daily grief is to try to focus more on what I’ve gained than on what I’ve lost. My son’s behavior can be difficult to manage, and there are days when he drives me crazy. But he is also spectacular. He is a brilliant, joyful child who is endlessly curious about the world.

I’m fine with giving up the stereotype of summer if it means having him as my son.