My Son Was In Grade 6 When He Bought his First Condom

Summary

A Grade 6 student inadvertently bought a condom from a vending machine, mistaking it for candy due to its orange and banana flavor label, and later connected this purchase with his sex education class, leading to a humorous and educational moment.

Abstract

The narrative recounts an incident where the author's son, while on a trip in Quebec, encountered a condom vending machine in a men's washroom. Intrigued by the labels advertising orange and banana flavors, he spent two dollars to discover what he thought was candy. Upon realizing his mistake, he discarded the condom. Two weeks later, during a sex education class, he made the connection between his purchase and the topic being discussed, prompting a mix of enlightenment and confusion about the purpose of flavored condoms. The teacher was left to handle the unexpected revelation, providing a humorous yet educational experience for the student and likely the class.

Opinions

The author initially expresses shock at learning their child had purchased a condom, highlighting a parental perspective on the innocence of children and the unexpected nature of the situation.
The child's innocence is further emphasized by his genuine belief that he was purchasing candy based on the vending machine's advertising, showcasing the curiosity and naivety of youth.
The friend's reaction, a chuckle at the son's confusion, reflects a typical peer response to such a misunderstanding, adding a light-hearted element to the story.
The son's subsequent realization during the sex education class illustrates the importance and impact of comprehensive sexual education in schools.
The author's amusement at the teacher's potential challenge in explaining the function of flavored condoms suggests a view that some aspects of sex education can be unexpectedly complex and humorous.

My Son Was In Grade 6 When He Bought his First Condom

I received a phone call from my son’s teacher when he was in Grade 6.

“During the sex education class today, your son told us that he recently purchased a condom.”

My jaw dropped. My little boy bought a condom??? WHAAAT!!! After a few minutes of explanation, I got the full story.

Apparently, during a week-long trip to Quebec, my son had discovered a vending machine in the men’s washroom. The advertised product had highlighted the words ORANGE and BANANA flavoured and having no idea as to what a condom was, the kid naturally thought he was buying candy. So when he put two dollars in the vending machine slot, he was a little confused with what came out…

His friend chuckled watching my son’s reaction. He unwrapped it from the packaging and looked at it. What the hell was this thing, he wondered. By this stage he clued in that it certainly wasn’t candy and he cursed the two dollars he’d wasted and threw the strange plastic thing in the garbage can.

Fast forward two weeks to sex education class — the teacher is introducing the kids to condoms and my son puts two and two together and tells her that he bought one of those in Quebec. As his little mind begins to understand the function of the condom in practising safe sex, he then finds he is baffled even more.

“Why was it orange and banana flavoured then?”

Poor teacher… I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when she tried to explain that one!!