My Son Did Something I Couldn’t

I am the king of giving up, and he didn’t

Years ago my dream was to become a professional photographer. I bought the gear, watched thousands of hours of online lessons, and practised my craft as often as possible. I got pretty good at it too!

Something that nagged me about the industry is that I loathe taking photos of posed people. Not to be mixed up with street photography-type photos of people.

I guess you could say I’m introverted to the core. Weddings, families, kids, and headshots. You name it, I Loat.. HATE it.

I couldn’t find a way to turn my passion for street and concert photography into paying work.

So I gave up.

Just like I did when I tried to sell pizza. I won third place in a national pizza-making contest but couldn't make a go of it at the local farmers market.

Also like the time I tried freelancing with my graphic design work, writing the first time around, working out, working at my family's business, going to university… are you starting to see a trend here?

I’m a quitter.

My son is just like me

Sometimes my son frustrates me and I have a hard time pinpointing why. The last time it happened I had a startling realization.

He is just like me.

His passive and calm personality is just like mine and boy does it frustrate the heck out of me. How can I get mad at him for being just like me though? He is “it is what it is” embodied into a human being.

Last summer he came to me and said he had something he really wanted to do. This is how the conversation went:

Isaac: “Dad I want to play hockey this year” Me: “Are you sure?” Isaac: “Yes, I love hockey!” Me: “You also loved soccer and football and gave up because it was hard” Isaac: “Not hockey. Who knows more about hockey than me?”

Touche. The kid does know a lot about hockey.

Not wanting to be the dad that keeps his son from his dream, I signed him up.

In the back of my head, I had that nagging feeling that giving up was waiting around the corner.

It’s in his nature after all, just like pops. We’ve got the give-up gene.

The worst practice of all time

It was the first day of hockey and all the players were gathering on the ice. Just watching him step onto the ice gave me a lump in my throat. It was very obvious that this was one of his first times on the ice, not to mention in hockey gear.

My partner and I watched drill after drill where he was far behind and unable to complete them. I was proud of him for just showing up but I couldn’t help but feel like he would be so dejected.

After he was dressed, he brisked past us with his head hanging low. Quiet and in his feelings, just like his dad, he didn't speak. So we just let him be.

Learning my lesson

Hours later he comes into the living room and announces he is looking forward to the next practice. Confident he will eventually get the hang of it, he wants to go back and not give up.

By the end of the season he would score his first goal and be much more confident on his skates and feet. He had the time of his life this year and his coach informed us that he was the locker room joker.

I reflected on his attitude and took a look at my own life and how often I give up. I get emotional thinking about all of the times I have shown my kids that I am a man who quits when things get tough.

I walk away.

My son taught me about perseverance and it’s about time he has a dad that follows through on his dreams. It hurts me to my core to realize I haven’t shown him this by my actions.

Putting the plan in place

Introspection is something I pride myself on being good at and here it was slapping me across the face. So I made a plan.

• Start writing again: I used to be a dad blogger who wrote for some pretty big companies. I got sent on trips and wrote articles for products but I gave up.
• Start my health journey: I am obese and have been most of my adult life. I want to finally choose myself and start making the right choices to lead a life of health so I can be around.
• Start my youtube channel back up: I had a Disney youtube channel that had a video blow up. After that video got big I gave up from the pressure. I loved doing it. I want to do it again

Those three items are a starting point but are three actionable items I know will make me happy.

Let’s see what I can do.

Do you have something you’ve given up on that you’d like to start again? Let me know about it in the comments and what your plan is to start again!

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