My Sister-In-Law Just Handed Me Lessons for a Lifetime.
It took less than a week to absorb the personality she amassed over a decade
My sisters and I have 3 sisters-in-law. Of the three, we bond best with my second brother’s wife. For the past week, we all sailed on the sea across Europe. My sister-in-law, my sister, and I shared one cabin.
Her marriage to my brother is over a decade. They have 6 kids together. From 9 to 5, she works as a business analyst. From 5 pm to 5 am, she is juggling the roles of mum, wife, landlady, and hairstylist.
I lived with them during my postgraduate in 2015, so I had a first-hand experience of her personality. She is giving, cerebral, versatile, resolute, loyal, and empathetic.
My brother, though pretty hands-on with the kids and housekeeping, is super busy with his career and a long list of other external commitments. This leaves his wife most times with the option of playing a chunky role as far as their home life is concerned.
She is a vocal person and except for the times she chooses reservedness, she pretty much makes her thoughts known on the fly.
On the eve of the trip, she hadn’t packed. She was too busy prepping the kids for the time she would be away. She needed to sort out minute details like what they would need for both school and after-school programs for the coming week, stocking up the fridge with food, and last-minute grocery shopping.
She said to me: “I can’t wait for your brother to fix this bit. I have to do it. While I am away, he’ll be dealing with the six of them, and that includes our toddler and our son with special needs.”
I waited for her to show her frustration and berate her husband. Even if it was there, she wouldn’t vocalize it. She just carried on doing her best, protecting her family. “He asked me to write a list of the tasks that need to happen in my absence and asked me not to call or follow up.”
This wasn’t the first time I had seen this. Years ago, when it was just 2 kids and she was having postpartum blues, he allowed her to go on a day trip with friends and asked her not to worry about anything happening on the home front.
As I have said previously, I really admire married people who respect their partners so much as to protect their flaws from outsiders. They just keep you guessing. I haven’t fine-tuned that virtue.
One day, while we were at sea, she called home. That evening, she was feeling unwell with a headache and a sore throat. A bug had been passing around, and while caring for the sick cabin member, she caught it. That didn’t deter her.
Two of her youngest kids were unwell. First, she spoke to her husband, trying to get a sense of things. Then she made her inputs gently where needed. Next, she spoke to each child gently and patiently. I thought to myself. This is admirable.
I use swear words liberally, most especially shit and f**k. Many thanks to mainstream media. Hubby had tried hinting me to play it down. Well, while on this trip, I noticed there was a paucity of swear words coming from my lips. I wasn’t too sure if it was my company or the environment.
While at dinner one night, as a swear word escaped from my lips, my sister-in-law was sitting beside me. Her disapproval was obvious. At first, I felt her disposition was because she was actively raising kids.
“That language is crude. Just because everyone uses it doesn’t make it right.” “What of your male co-workers? How do you cope?” I asked. “I don’t accept it from them either.”
I remember the day I told her my current residence couldn’t house a child. She told me that shouldn’t stop me. “In life, there are many pathways that suddenly open up once a challenge presents itself. Trust me, I have seen my fair share.”
Despite her baffling schedule, this mom of six doesn’t even look like she has had babies at all. Her weight is on point. She says to me: “How many meals do we really need in a day? One full meal is enough. The rest is extra.” “Besides, with all that’s going on, I definitely need to clear my head now and then. That’s what my dance class, music, and shopping therapy are for.”