My Simplistic Strategy for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

I ask myself just six questions

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.— Lewis Carroll

I have lectured more people than I can count about how to set goals. I’ve nagged them about it. But let me tell you the story of how I learned to set goals.

Most of us have experience setting goals. Some of my friends have plans for the decade. Not surprising, since we are all in our fifties — and it does make sense to take stock and reflect on where we see ourselves during the next few years. I personally know I have miles to go before I sleep and it is a good thing I enjoy walking!

It is interesting to see how we go about setting goals at different stages in our lives. We imagine the future, based on our past experiences. The best part is the feeling of hope and optimism as we put everything down on paper — write it all down. Everything seems possible at that point and that is such an energizing feeling.

And yet…

Doubts can creep in with the dreaded “what ifs”. After all, we are human, and we cannot help thinking of positive as well as negative outcomes. No matter how experienced we are, uncertainties rule life. We must be prepared to face these and tackle them, especially when they are likely to affect our plans.

I learned to set goals at a very young age and the credit goes to my mom. In fact, I think my stepping stone to this was making lists. Lists ruled my life. During my childhood, it was all about the day’s routine, chores, and schoolwork.

Later, when I started my career at twenty, I recall how, at the beginning of each year, my mom would encourage me to make a “wish list” that I would aim to achieve by the end of the year. We would review the items on this list periodically depending on what it was, amid much laughter. And yes, some things on this list were pure fantasy and some others, quite achievable. Either way, it was great to aspire for and to visualize our dreams by making that list.

A little flashback here

Back in 1987, Mom and I moved to a different city with just a sewing machine, some utensils for cooking, some bed linen, and a suitcase of clothes. We had to manage our expenses within my not-so-great salary. Our expenses obviously included house rent, groceries, utilities, and the other usual things.

At that point, my wish list looked like this:

1. A closet for clothes
2. A motorcycle (what can I say? I am a fan)
3. A refrigerator
4. A blender
5. A TV
6. A string of pearls for my mom (the city we lived in was famous for pearls)

We lived in a one-room accommodation — which was all we could afford at the time. This room was one of two on either side of the garage on the ground floor of a large bungalow. Also on the ground floor was a regular two-bedroom portion with a side entrance rented by another family.

We had the room on the left of the garage. The other room was rented by a bachelor. We shared a bathroom which was on the side of the house.

So our entire living quarters was one room with a granite counter on the far wall. It had a sink with–oh luxury–a tap with running water.

Well, at the end of that year, I only managed to save enough to buy a small refrigerator. I also gradually managed to get a blender and that made life much easier for us, because Mom was the cook-from-scratch type. Buying closets looked somewhat impossible even the next year, so I simply went and hired a couple of chests of drawers.

I convinced myself that the bike was not that important and could come later because my office was just over two kilometers (about 1.2 miles) from where we lived. I walked to work. This added to our savings since I saved transportation costs. It helped me keep fit. Also, I was only twenty-four and healthy.

What about the things I did not accomplish?

The items that were not achieved on the wish list got carried over to the next year. Also, mom got a job at the local school — and our income grew a little bit. Of course, while we didn’t scrimp on our food budget, we were quite strict with our expenses because we were keen to achieve our goals. We stayed focused. And we did.

Three months into the new year and I proudly brought home a black and white CRT 14” TV. In 1988, we only had a few hours of Doordarshan, the national channel, and I had to hold the rabbit-ear antenna if I wanted to watch a show without the static.

The point of setting goals

If we have the courage to dream, if we can allow our imagination to run wild, we need goals that give us direction. I did— and managed to fill my notebook with wishes I was keen on fulfilling. There was no dearth of ideas. My dreams gave me hope for our future. I reviewed my wish list every three months to track my progress.

Wanting something is not enough. We need a plan and a process in place to achieve it

My main criteria for setting goals

… and making our wish list was as follows:-

• Did we really want “it”?
• Were we being pressurized to pursue the goal?
• Would it hurt anyone?
• Was it complementary to our other goals?
• Were we emotionally strong enough to stick with the process?
• Did we visualize reaching the goal?

While setting my goals, I also want to know if, when I achieve my goals,

• Will I be happier?
• Will I be healthier?
• Will I be wealthier?
• Will I keep my friends, make new ones?
• Will I enjoy peace of mind?
• Will I feel more secure?

You see, it was important to say “yes” to at least one of those questions for every goal. (The more yes-es, the better). If I couldn’t do that, I would strike it off my list.

Most importantly, I remembered to factor in my family and my loved ones when I answered those questions.

Setting goals may be easy, but achieving them? Not so much. They need commitment. And if we cannot visualize ourselves reaching the goal, we can forget aspiring for it. Of course, part of planning is having those contingency plans in place so that we are constantly prioritizing our tasks.

When you plan to fail, you fail to plan

It goes without saying that goals must also be realistic and specific, divided into short term and long term — and have deadlines with periodic checkpoints along the way. And most important, it is critical to write them down.

The biggest life lesson I learned from my mom through all this?

Do not mistake pleasure for happiness. There’s a big difference — Devi (my mom)

Do you believe in setting goals?

Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles ❤ Did you smile today?

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