Summary

The article discusses personal strategies for overcoming writer's loneliness through intentional social connections and engagement with others.

Abstract

The author of the article shares their journey of navigating the solitude of remote work and the desire for deep connections despite a tendency to withdraw. They describe a process of merging the worlds of solitude and socialization by actively inviting people into their space through various online platforms and activities. The author emphasizes the importance of choosing to rewire one's mindset to combat loneliness, suggesting that sustainable social interactions can be cultivated through deliberate actions such as engaging in conversations on LinkedIn, offering genuine kindness, and building a supportive writing network. The article concludes with practical advice for writers seeking to alleviate feelings of isolation, advocating for the creation of long-term, meaningful relationships both online and offline.

Opinions

The author views their initial approach to solitude as akin to a "tornado," indicating a sense of chaos and destructiveness in their social life.
There is a belief that loneliness is not an inevitable fate but rather a state that can be changed by altering one's mindset and social behaviors.
The author values the power of small, intentional actions, such as asking questions on Quora or sharing personal stories via a newsletter, in building connections.
The article suggests that forming a social circle is possible and can evolve over time, reflecting an optimistic view of personal growth and socialization.
The author advises against general, non-specific interactions, advocating instead for personalized and kind engagements that foster continued conversation.
The author acknowledges the importance of body language in social interactions and how it can affect the way others perceive and respond to us.
There is an observation that some individuals are turning to fictional or virtual companionship as a complex form of avoidance of traditional relationships.
The article promotes the idea of accepting and enjoying platonic relationships as a valuable part of one's social life.
The author encourages writers to actively build a network by engaging with fellow writers in a genuine and memorable manner, such as through unique conversation starters.

My Shadow Work for Writer’s Loneliness (As Someone Sacred to Be Alone)

Zombie simple routine to follow.

Locked away in my diary is a truth.

Here’s the key.

My remote work life is a wind-ravaged state. And I’m the tornado. I stand between being afraid of aloneness and wanting to leave them before they leave me. It’s a messy situation. Taylor Swift gets it. But I want out of this hamster cycle of new love, fear of holding on too tight, and letting go first.

Imagine craving deep connections when you’re the one who can’t stick around. This life isn’t easy. So, yeah, I’m trying to change. The shift is like going down on the wrong side of the highway. A tremendous barrage wall blocks your comfort zone.

So, if you’re trying to create connective content while protecting your heart, sit with me here while your body relaxes.

How I Let Go

Have you ever lived between two extremes? You were born in an urban area. And then you moved to the city. Most people who fear being alone find themselves living in two worlds.

Crowds and loneliness.

I’ve chosen to merge the two worlds. The plan is to remove negatives associated with being by oneself. Alone time won’t go on forever. And you get to pick when you’re by yourself.

How I invite people into my space:

Asking questions on Quora
Television show reviews
YouTube opinion videos
Twitter

Before, I’d sit by a window to write. Look outside. Watch people live their lives while feeling far removed from them.

These days, I invite remote strangers to sit alongside me.

Personal stories via Substack newsletter readings
Study with me YouTube videos
Friend calls.

Tiny. Minuscule shifts push the biggest tides to shore. I call a friend to hear about their day even when I have no intention to talk about mine. I virtually sit with a recording of someone studying. Why? To listen. To feel less alone. And to know I’m not the only one who needs connection.

Sustainable Label

No one forces you to be alone.

Loneliness isn’t your destiny if you choose to rewire your mindset.

If your personality can change, so can your social circle. I choose to interact with people rather than pull away. Thanks, LinkedIn, for the practice. I’ve refined my socialization approach.

Avoid general fluff.

Statements insertable in any conversation.

Restructured kindness

Speak kindly to people who were brave enough to talk when no one would approach the mic.
Lead with a supportive remark. End with a question to keep chatting.

Create a pair.

When face-to-face, the person entering the room says a greeting like “Good Morning”. Use this as your opening to introduce yourself.
When online, add your remarks to people’s comments to spark conversation.

Don’t hide your nervous giveaway.

You’ll listen. You’ll observe. Even say the right things yet face rejection.

How come? I realized it was my body language. Use a soft, no-pressure entrance into people’s space — such as a personal question or story.

Follow up with context to have people lower their guard. Display your nervous habit while pausing (long) to create chances for the other person to speak.

How I Plan Long-Term

I don’t imagine a life with people in it. I accept the individuals within my community and the ones who enter. Baffling? Let me explain.

It’s a bent socialization.

Growth. Like a new life in a garden. There’s an emerging trend. Women are into fictional men. Men are into anime, virtual, and blowup dolls.

I know this is complex avoidance. These men and women picture a life without the white fence, kids, and life partner by 30. It’s too traditional and expensive. Soon, they plan a life alone because people are this and that. Plus, society isn’t what it was when you were younger.

Next, they deny themselves company because people are fickle. The human experience is turbulent.

Every day can’t be the same.

But daily you can enjoy everything someone said you shouldn’t. Here’s an example. I share moments with a best friend, mother, auntie, writing companion, or sibling. You can too, if you allow yourself to value such experiences.

Accept healthy company even when it’s platonic.

There’s nothing wrong with you (or me) if you’ve been alone a lot.

Creation.

Cafe’s are great.

I once read a wild writership story. A writer visited a coffee shop. Every laptop tapper along one bench had this platform open with a piece underway. Cool.

But what if you long for long-time support?

The easiest fix for a writer’s loneliness is to build a network. Away with me to Europe for a minute. GrammarHippy says he always asks, “What? No tip!” after he has his receipt in hand whenever he shops with small businesses to be memorable. Simple, sure. Effective, yes.

Here’s an approach you can try.

— Post 50 blogs before you message a writer. It’s proof you’re a writer, too.

— Kick asking for writing tips in your first DM.

— Research writing strategies — does your favorite writer use them?

Most likely, no. Depending on your personality use this as your network entry. Sarcastic example. “Have you ever considered working for Apple? Your original, ever-creative wordplay would add 10,000 sales to their pocket. I’m Annie, by the way.”