My Self-Sabotaging Loop

Summary

The author, Ryan Breen, reflects on his recent break from writing and healthy habits, attributing it to a need to recharge mentally, despite recognizing it as a form of self-sabotage due to distraction and anxiety over life's uncontrollable aspects.

Abstract

Ryan Breen discusses his decision to pause his writing and healthy lifestyle routine, which he had maintained consistently since March, resulting in weight loss and improved fitness. Despite the productivity and progress he experienced, he chose to step back, acknowledging this as an excuse stemming from his tendency to get distracted and anxious about uncontrollable life events. He admits to being self-aware during this period of stagnation and plans to use this awareness to break the cycle of self-sabotage in the future. Breen invites readers to engage in a discussion about these personal challenges and the broader theme of personal responsibility for one's growth and development.

Opinions

The author believes that his break from writing and healthy living was not necessary for productivity but was a result of his own self-sabotage.
He recognizes that life is filled with narratives we create to justify our actions, and being honest about these can lead to personal growth.
Breen emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing personal cycles and preparing to overcome them.
He suggests that individuals are personally responsible for their lack of growth and that acknowledging this is the first step towards change.
The author values reader engagement and encourages feedback and discussion on these topics, offering several platforms for connection.

Everybody has one

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I haven’t posted any stories since June 17th. I decided to take a break from writing and recharge my mind. I did not come to this decision lightly after a couple of months of being reasonably consistent and enjoying my experience on Medium. It was just the right thing to do for my mental health.

It wasn’t just writing from which I had taken a break. I also decided to take a break from eating healthy and working out. From March through about mid-June, I gained momentum both as a writer and in getting myself in decent shape. I finally began to see some weight loss happening and was back into the mid 180s for the first time in over a year. My clothes started to fit better again, and 179 pounds was on the horizon.

I was finding time to do all of this all the while working as many hours as I ever had while not missing a beat. It was amazing to see how productive I could be after only committing to the process. With that kind of productivity, you might ask why taking a break was necessary?

It actually wasn’t; I just sabotaged myself as I usually do. I got distracted and anxious about the things in life that were out of my control. The decision to take a break is a retrospective excuse that I am giving myself to justify my failure to mentally and spiritually push through to new layers. I have done it throughout my entire life only this time I saw it coming and was aware throughout the last two-plus weeks of exactly what I was doing.

Life is full of these false narratives. We all have them. If you are willing to be honest and examine your own story and take away the blame and judgment of others, you will find yourself standing alone, personally responsible for your own lack of growth. However, with the addition of self-awareness to the process, I can bet on the certainty of cycles in life and prepare for the next go around. When after a period fueled by motivation, I find myself sputtering to a halt. Only then I will be ready. I will have a plan.

If you have read this far, thank you! I would love to hear your feedback, have a discussion, or debate these concepts. Let’s connect at, PsychologyToday, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or shoot me an email at [email protected]

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