My Roommate Threatened To Stab Me To Death

For the first time in my life, I regretted my Kindness

The story I’m about to share with you is one that taught me 5 important Life Lessons. Most importantly, now that I’ve had this experience, I know never to make important decisions based on sentiments. I’m glad that you're here so I can share these lessons with you.

Sometime in February, I was at the office and I got a call from my uncle. He told me that his adopted daughter was coming for a program in my city and she had no place to stay. He said she’d only be there for 2 months.

Since I was living in the city all by myself, he asked that I accommodate her. Though I had never met his daughter, I had heard a few things about her. Things that weren’t so pleasant. This made me a bit worried about her staying at my place.

That day, I called my mum and told her about it. My mum was furious and warned me about it. She told me that the girl was no good but I’m not the type of person to write people off based on mere ‘hearsay’. Besides, I couldn’t refuse my uncle’s request, so I disobeyed my mum. I told him she could come.

The next day, the girl came to my place with her luggage. She’s in her mid-twenties, quite tall and pretty. That first day we stayed up all night discussing and laughing so loud. It was almost as though we had known ourselves for ages.

She appeared to be the jovial type and quite the storyteller. She liked to tell stories about everything and everyone. She’d often tell me stories of how she loved visiting strip clubs occasionally. She also told me of how she had lots of big friends who spent money carelessly. There was never a dull moment with her. Though her stories were entertaining, they weren’t the type that interests me. But who cares? I finally had a roommate and a cool one at that. I was beginning to think this wasn’t a bad idea after all.

I have always prioritized being a good host. Since this was my first apartment, and she was my first guest, I knew this was my chance.

I did every single work in the house — cooking, cleaning washing, everything. This was partly because she had expressed earlier that she hated cooking or doing house chores. I didn’t mind doing all that because as I said, I wanted to be a good host. Just like Monica from Friends, I love my guests to be as comfortable as possible.

Everything was all nice and cool until about a couple of weeks later. I began to notice some changes in her attitude.

Though from the first day she came to my place, she had told me that she’s quite troublesome and temperamental. I never took that seriously because I thought she was trying to make a joke as usual. Soon, I began to see it manifest.

I noticed she stopped eating the food I prepared. At first, I thought she didn’t like my cooking. Though I don’t see why that should be the case. I’m not trying to brag but most people who eat my food have praised my cooking. Still, I didn’t rule that out. I even asked her why she was no longer eating my food. She claimed it was nothing, she’s not been too hungry lately. Yet, I saw that she was eating at my neighbor’s place every single day.

A couple of times I had returned from work and gone to the kitchen only to find a dirty pot that proved that she had cooked. I wasn’t sure why she’d cook a whole pot of food and it gets finished that same day before I returned. It wasn’t until it had happened a couple of times that I realized what it was. I realized that she cooks while I’m at work and then she takes it to my neighbor’s apartment. There they’d all finish the food before I get back from work.

This made me feel sad because at least I expected that she’d be considerate enough to wash the pots afterward. Yet, I never confronted her about it. I’d rather wash the pots myself and act as though nothing happened.

As if this wasn’t enough, on several occasions she had insulted and embarrassed me in front of my neighbors for no good reason. One Saturday night she came into the room, drew out a chair, and sat down right in my face. She began cursing me out. She called me all sorts of names and even went as far as insulting my mother. Then she accused me of pretending to be a good person. According to her, she could see right through my pretense.

She said all sorts of offensive things to me that day, but I never said a word back to her. I knew she was trying to get me to react so we’d both get in some kind of fight.

I have never been the type to get aggressive, loud, or get into fights. I did what I always do in such situations, I paid attention to all her insults. When she was done talking, I only said ‘Thanks, I’ve heard all you’ve said, I’d try to be better’. I’m sure that must have been frustrating for her since her intention was to get me to fight her. But I couldn’t give her what she wanted, it wasn’t in my nature to be violent. There was no way I was going to let her drag me down to that level.

Soon I noticed she started spending an awful amount of time at my neighbor’s. I suspected that would result in her speaking ill of me to my neighbors but I didn’t mind. I kept telling myself ‘2 months and she’d be gone with all of her trouble’

Her closeness with my neighbor never bothered me. At least not until I noticed that my neighbor stopped talking to me. Someone who used to greet me every time I returned from work. This made me worry a bit.

It was obvious the girl had started badmouthing me to my neighbor as I suspected. I remember cracking my brain, trying to figure out what I had done to piss her off to the point where she felt the need to do that to me. But I couldn’t think of anything.

One Sunday morning she started again with her troubles. This time, I woke up and heard her talking on the phone with someone. On the call, she was shouting about how someone had been sabotaging her to her father. Telling him she always sleeps out and that she’d been living wild in the city. The way she sounded on the phone, it was obvious she was implying I told him all that.

At this point, I had had enough of her troubles and I was done keeping silent. I immediately got out of bed and went up to her. I asked her who she was referring to. Then she admitted her statement was directed at me. Asking me what I’m going to do about that. I knew it was pointless trying to defend myself or exchanging words with her. I said, ‘okay that’s it. You’d have to leave’.

Before I knew it, she jumped to her feet and began insulting me. She told me how much she hated girls like me. “Girls who always act like they were saints but really are the worse”. While she was shouting and demonstrating violently, all I could think of were my regrets.

All these while she’d been troubling me in my house, not once did I confront her. I didn’t even report her attitude towards me to her father. Now I regretted it because she mistook my silence for weakness. I shouldn't have let this girl into my house and when she started causing so much trouble, I should have asked to leave from the unset. All I wanted was to make my guest comfortable. But my good deeds were unappreciated.

These were the things I thought within myself while she kept on insulting me and causing a scene in my house.

The next thing I knew, she threatened to stab me to death. I wasn’t sure what to say to her after that. Before then, No one had ever threatened my life. I wasn’t even sure she could do what she threatened but I definitely wasn’t about to stay and find out.

Here’s What I Did

I immediately left the house and locked the door with her inside. I tried calling her father on the phone but he wouldn’t pick his calls, so I headed for the police station.

At the police station, I gave my report and requested they come and get her out of my house. I was also able to get a restraining order against her. Her father later called back and I told him everything that had happened. Though he scolded me for not reporting her to him earlier so he could caution her, He apologized for her actions. And commended me for the way I handled the situation.

Even though most people seemed impressed with how I handled things, I hated that it happened in the first place. I hate that because of her, my neighbor no longer talks to me. I hate that my good deed turned sour so fast. Also, I’m not the type of person to have any business with the police. Actually that was my first time at a police station. The whole situation was a big mistake and I hate that I can't take it back.

Here are the 5 Lessons this experience taught me:

Follow Your Instincts

The first important lesson my experience taught me was to listen to my instincts. It’s best to be firm and follow your instincts when it warns you against something. I knew something was going to go wrong if I let that girl stay at my place but I let sentiments determine my decision. Stop being sentimental especially when it comes to your safety and peace of mind. If something doesn’t look or feel right, chances are they’re not. Don’t be afraid to say No!

Never Expect Anything From People

Doing someone a favor doesn’t guarantee that the person would appreciate it. It doesn’t guarantee that they’d somehow be nicer to you. People who are A** holes would remain A** holes even if you moved mountains for them.

I never would have believed that someone I had welcomed with open arms, would behave in such a manner. Now I get why Gary Vaynerchuk always says “expect nothing from no one”. Expecting gratitude from an ungrateful person will always leave you disappointed.

“If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.”

― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Silence is the Best Answer for A Fool

Silence is the last thing your provoker expects. When they start cursing you out and embarrassing you in public, they expect to get a reaction from you. I mean who wouldn’t retaliate to something as annoying as that?

This girl went as far as insulting my mother just to get me to fight her. I’m sure you can testify to the level of rage that could stir up in a person. You can curse a person all you want and it's all good. But the moment you curse their mother, oh you're so dead.

But I disappointed her. I didn’t let her get to me. I kept my cool and In the end, she looked like a fool.

“You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging leaping from their mouths. Silence? No.”

― Alison McGhee, All Rivers Flow To The Sea

When a Person Threatens to Kill You Don’t Doubt Them

I can't stress this enough. The moment a person threatens your life, whether its a friend or a foe, do not doubt them. Take legal action. Do not stay and fight.

Imagine if I didn’t act as fast as I did when she threatened to stab me. Imagine I stayed there to fight her, She’d probably had done as she said or worse, I might have hurt her in self-defense. Both ways it would’ve been disastrous.

When faced with a similar situation, the first thing is always to run and then take legal action.

When you take legal actions against that person, they get to be accountable for you. If anything happens to you, the police know who to come for. Many times than not, the person who threatened you will stay clear of you.

I feel like I need to repeat this again.

When a person threatens to kill you don't doubt them, don't stay and fight. You aren't Jackie Chan who can fight 10 men coming at him with swords.

Your life is way more important than your ego.

Lastly and Importantly;

Obey Your Parents

My mother knew the girl better than I did and she warned me against taking her in. If only I had obeyed my mother’s instructions, I wouldn’t have found myself in such an ugly mess.

There’s no love like the love of a Parent. For this reason, they want the very best for you. Your parents would not see you walking into harm’s way and stay silent. Even though sometimes they might be paranoid, it’s all because of the great love in their hearts for you.

If there’s a friend of yours they don't like, beware of that friend. If they ask you not to go out today, don’t go! Listen to them. There's an old saying that goes;

“What an elder sees sitting; the young can’t see standing.”

- Gustave Flaubert

Thanks for reading this Piece. I hope it was helpful in some way. Stay Safe! Special Thanks to Dr Mehmet Yildiz for the opportunity.