My Relationship With Beer Is Like the Hotel California

I can check out any time I like, but I can never leave.

My first encounter with beer

My love for beer started like most in the UK, quite early. I was at a friend's 14th birthday party where I had my first. I remember it was a can of Fosters, which isn’t exactly a premium lager. I was just happy to be drinking one at that age. I remember the night vividly. Laughing and joking. All awkwardly holding and drinking anxiously, trying not to be the first one to be overly drunk or sick. I didn't really enjoy the taste of it, but did my best to hide this and drank willingly to fit it.

My teenage years continued to be filled with underage drinking. Every Friday night there would be some kind of event. I grew up in a small town so there wasn’t much else to do. When someone had a ‘free house’ — their parents were out for the night, the first call of action was to get people over for a gathering. A gathering was basically an excuse to get blind drunk and do stupid things. I remember one event, we started passing around a bottle of vodka and doing shots through the eye because we heard that would get you drunk quicker. This was the level of stupidity that was present almost weekly.

As these gatherings continued, I was no longer trying to pretend I liked the taste of alcohol to look cool. I was really starting to enjoy it. Particularly beer. I would actually start looking forward to Friday nights, just so I could sink a few pints and chat complete rubbish with equally smashed friends. This was where my relationship with beer first began, and it has gone from strength to strength ever since.

How my relationship with beer has progressed over the years

Since I have grown older and navigated my way through university and work, I have experienced many changes in life. One thing however that has remained relatively constant is my relationship with beer. When it comes to a Friday night, it has always been difficult for me to refuse a drink.

Have I had a dependency on drinking beer? At times, yes. Beer for me is a blessing and a curse. Have such good times with it. Some of my fondest memories are alcohol-inspired nights and some amazing things that have happened I am convinced would never have developed without alcohol involved. But at the same time, when I drink for long periods, it definitely has an impact on my mood and outlook on life.

Alcohol has been great to me when I am feeling happy and has enhanced relationships with other people. There is nothing quite like bonding after a crazy night out or a deep meaningful alcohol-infused conversation. I have definitely however used it too as a coping mechanism when feeling sad. It has been great to push down negative emotions. I find it almost numbs feelings. In the short term, it can be a great tool to reduce pain. But in the long-term, I recognize this is not a healthy approach.

Do I have a drinking problem?

I have noticed the negative impact alcohol consumption can have on me mentally. I have also missed some great opportunities due to hangovers stopping me from bringing my best self to an occasion. Or even not turning up to things as I am too hungover to bother going. It is hard to work out the opportunity cost of getting drunk against all the events and things I would have done instead. I may have missed meeting amazing people and my true calling in life, but I guess I will never know.

Do I think I am an alcoholic? Honestly, I don’t think so. I have never woke up in the morning and needed a drink. There have been times when I have noticed I am drinking too often and I am able to take some time out of the game. I do, however, recognize that at times I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that needs addressing.

Drinking culture in the UK

The drinking culture in the UK is difficult for anyone with any form of alcohol dependency. Many other cultures are centered around food and the focus is more about meeting for dinner. In the UK however, it tends to be more about the drinking and dinner is merely an afterthought. You will go to a pub and then be like, “I’m pretty hungry, we should get food”.

It is considered pretty sociable to go out and drink with your mates too. I recall periods where I wasn’t drinking and my social life was a lot more boring. I was getting into better healthier habits such as doing more exercise and eating better. But at a certain point, boredom would really kick in. Before I know it, I am getting a text from friends or a girl to go out and get drunk. And then my social life is restored and I am back in the game. Plenty of room at the Hotel Caliboozer.

The trade-off between a healthy lifestyle and boredom

Just after some time away from alcohol, I feel much better and more positive towards life. But then one ‘big night out’ can completely derail me. Whether that be a wedding, someone's birthday, or another special occasion, I find it hard to say no to drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Hell, I don't even want to say no.

Without even noticing it, very quickly, I am back to square one. Back in a routine of drinking often. Beer has got her tender loving arms around me once again and drawn me back in.

Just like the Hotel California. I can check out any time I like, but I can never leave.