My relationship with a functioning addict

Here’s my experience with a person with a heroin addiction

It is pretty likely I trusted the wrong person.

He was a heroin addict who didn’t look as beat up as everyone else in the building.

He looked good and was in shape. He was a construction worker who couldn’t find work after the pandemic hit.

I thought I would get to know him because this guy was not as beat-up looking as everyone else, and here’s what happened.

Met as neighbours

I met this individual in my former low-barrier housing. He worked for a construction company before the pandemic but lost his job due to the shutdown. I have seen his resume, and it says he managed several construction worker crews.

Honestly, it was impressive for that building. Most of the tenants were hardcore drug users.

As I began to get to know him formally, we became friends. One night, I saw him constantly looking at the ground for change. He was looking for money that people had dropped. I decided to give him $20 for him to keep. He was very grateful, and he ended up paying me back.

He spent the money on heroin. This is where I began to make a mistake with this person. He always needed money to buy his next hit. I decided to help him out anyway. He always spent any money he had on heroin. I knew this but didn’t think much of it. I figured he was trying to quit, like how I was trying to stop drinking.

I figured neither of us were perfect, so maybe I could be his friend.

I decided to try going into business with him and give him $500 to grow weed. I wanted to see what he would do with it.

Investing $500 into a grow-op

“I can trust him for $20, but can I trust him with $500?” I thought to myself. I decided to find out. I gave him $500, and he hid it underneath his sink. I was hopeful this would become a profitable business.

I wasn’t going to see him for a while since I was going to a treatment centre the next day. I hoped he was doing what we agreed to do with the money. I didn’t know if it would go missing or if he spent it on heroin. I decided to trust him and see what happened.

A month passed in treatment, and I came back home while on a pass. I go to his apartment to visit him. I looked under the sink where the money was, and it was gone. He said a drug dealer gave him bad dope, and it rendered him unconscious. The drug dealer proceeded to steal things from his room, including the $500.

Whether this is true or not, I don’t know, but I was doing okay financially, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. It was a loss I could handle.

The drugging thing is probably true, considering another neighbour confirmed he was robbed. But whether he took the money or not, it was gone. I know he has a problem with trusting the wrong people, and he may be lying, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He called his girlfriend, asking her to cover for him.

He had trouble in his relationship

He was seeing a girl who, let’s say, was unloyal to him. She sold escort services to fund a gambling addiction. They would get into arguments often. When she blocked him on Facebook, he used my account to continue talking to her.

I do not like being stuck in the middle of bad relationships, but he insisted, and eventually, I gave in. She ended up blocking me as well.

They met before he got into his addiction. At first, I didn’t want to look through his texts to her as I figured their relationship was none of their business. However, I ended up being an unwilling participant.

As I read through the text messages, I found out she was sick of him putting heroin before their relationship. She told him to get help with his drug problem.

He would do things to help me, such as cutting my hair, shaving my face, and helping me clean my room. However, he would mention this to his girlfriend to make himself look good. Eventually, they break up. He continued to talk to her, but she was done with his addiction and didn’t want to deal with him anymore.

This addiction was costing him everything. He did other drugs one night and got significant consequences.

He ended up getting evicted

One day, I was over in his apartment and had a few drinks from him. His room was clean and tidy and put away. I got drunk and passed out in my room. But something significant happened the night before.

I woke up the following day, and as I was buying cigarettes at the gas station, he keenly walked up to me and hugged me. He told me he had trashed his apartment the night before. Both my father and another friend had visited me the previous night and told me they had seen him get arrested.

We went back to his room, and his apartment was completely trashed. The windows were smashed, and the walls were kicked in. There was a huge mess. He caused thousands of dollars of damage.

The landlord wanted to give him a break and required him to pay for the damages. He went to detox shortly after this and did not make the required payments. He then got evicted.

He has not had stable housing since then. He keeps losing his phone, so I can only contact him through Facebook. The last time I talked to him, he was in detox.

What I have learned

I wondered how this person was and decided to give him a chance. Whether he stole the grow-op money or not, I don’t know. I have not made as much contact as I did with him when we were neighbours, but he is somebody I want in my life, and here’s why.

I know he shoplifts and steals from his friends. That is true, but I firmly believe if you remove his heroin addiction, he can be a highly productive member of society.

He owes me a few favours, but as long as he’s using drugs, I can’t be around him. I have been sober for about a year now, and he still struggles with addiction. Considering how useful he is when he is sober, there is a possibility I would ask him for help renovating my apartment (if that ever comes to fruition).

I might be making a mistake and giving him too much benefit from the doubt. The other neighbour I mentioned has told me he has a habit of stealing from people, even people close to him. Did he rip me off? Probably, but I still care about him.

I know deep down inside he is a good person. He has a nasty heroin addiction, which is causing him most of his problems. I am confident that if you remove the addiction, he can be a very hard-working and successful individual.

So, would I trust an addict with money again? Probably not. I wish the best for this individual and pray he conquers his addiction. Until then, I think I will stay my distance.