My Pot Calling Your Kettle Black
I know you are, but what am I?
“Freedom never goes out of style.” — Rush Limbaugh
As an American, i.e., a citizen of the United State of, I can’t help but notice there are a plethora of posts on this platform by non-Americans who like to criticize or outright bash my country.
Well now, that’s okay, because written in our U.S. Constitution as Rule #1 is you can say or write whatever the hell* you want. It — Rule #1 — guarantees freedom of expression, even if you’re a Chicago school teacher doing an interpretive dance to explain why you will not do your job, or maybe just a common everyday idiot. No offense.
*I didn’t use the in-vogue Woken f-word because I still have that freedom.
We U.S. Americans cherish that rule and extend it to the rest of the world, even to those who chant “death to America.” So, while I’m irritated and at times down right pist at what I read by “outsiders,” I will defend their right to write it. I know it’s a cliché, but I mean it. I even put on my country’s uniform for a couple years to do just that.
However.
Just as you have the inalienable right to write what you want, so do I. At least I do until I get Zuckerberged by Big Tech and/or canceled by the Woke crowd.
Here’s another cliché: Turnabout is fair play.
Canada is a beautiful country.
I like their flag. Very simplistic and to the point. Not a bunch of stars or stripes to confuse things. I mean, who doesn’t like maple leaves, especially in the fall. Gorgeous things.
I’ve never actually been there, but I hear it’s really nice. Lots of mountains, a partial French-speaking population, moose, snow, and socialism with lots of open land, albeit frozen. Sounds like a perfect place. They had a British ex-prince for a while, but couldn’t keep him. He and his hot wife opted-out for Los Angeles. Go figure.
As an aside, it’s reported the strain in the relationship between ex-Prince Harry and ex-Duchess Meghan came after the couple moved to L.A. Her ex-Royal Missus said their boy Archie needed a sibling and they would name him/her Jughead (Gen Z click here). His ex-Royal Highness said this about the non-prince or princess to be named later, “No, we shan’t. It sounds too American.”
Canadians, I’ll bet, consider themselves fairly free of racial prejudice. I suspect that’s mostly true, except for their Prime Minister who repeatedly likes to do blackface. Of course, only 3% of the nation’s population is black. The highest urban population is 9% in Toronto. Even so, arrests of blacks are “rising faster than for any other demographic.” And the Jewish population is only 1.1%, yet “hate crimes against Jews is the highest per-capita form of race-based violence reported in Canada.”
One Canadian Legal scholar and professor, Constance Backhouse, stated that
“white supremacy is still prevalent in the country’s legal system, with blatant racism created and enforced through the law.”
Wow. So Canadians have race issues, too. Whodda thought? And that doesn’t even consider their indigenous population — First Nations. Hell, they don’t even let them own casinos. U.S. Native Americans own casinos. Karma.
One thing I really do like about Canadians is that out of the 35 plus mil population, 32% in the last census declared their ethnicity as “Canadian.” Now that’s just plain cool. I wish we’d do that more in my country, and maybe we’d actually experience that elusive Unity so many politicians like to talk about. I mean, how great would it be if 68% of us entered “American” in the ETHNICITY box on all those government forms we have to fill out instead of, say, Cowboy, Klingon, or Rosicrucian. Of course, there’d still be that 32% who entered “Canadian.”
I love Great Britain
Heck, most of my ancestry comes from the British Isles, with maybe a wild-eyed Viking or two thrown in. But they’re all dead now. I don’t really know for sure. All I really know comes from hearsay, which wouldn’t stand up in court. I know that because when I watch TV lawyer shows, one lawyer actor will stand up in court and shout,
“Objection! That’s hearsay.”
I should get one of those DNA tests in case I ever have to go to court about my ethnicity.
But England is fantastic. They’ve got Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Stonehenge, Hadrian’s Wall, Piccadilly Square, blood pudding, haggis, and that former MI6 guy who likes to fabricate dossiers about American Presidents. He should write on Medium.
Oh, and they’ve got a two-hundred-year-old queen… no, The Queen. And her two hundred-two-year-old Prince Charming. She seems like a nice monarch. And what a flawless family. Did you ever wonder what she carries in that little purse of hers?
Tons of history, those Brits. Besides all your kings and queens with and without heads, there’s Hastings where a battle took place in 1066, which for some odd reason I remember from a World History test I had in the 10th grade. I don’t even know who fought who. Probably Hastings United and somebody like Sittingbourne or Whitstable Town. Probably call themselves the “Conquerors.” Seems like I remember the captain of the original team was named William. Don’t know his last name.
Australia is bloody ripper (that’s a compliment… I think)
Did you know there are over thirty things that can kill you in Australia? And that’s only the animals, insects, and sea creatures. Actually, human homicides there have been trending downward for several years, if you don’t count the Aborigines, which most Aussies don’t.
Bar fights (pubs?), on the other hand, have increased by 2.68% since the signing of their anti-gun law, up 216.8% in 2020 alone.
While doing my research on this, a video popped up with a very intelligent looking Aussie in front of an impressive downward-trending multi-colored line(s) chart. Thinking the chap (bloke? mate?) would explain why his countrymen and women weren’t killing each other, I clicked on it. He went on in a monotone fashion for some time, although I couldn’t understand him (lots of “dinkum”, “fruphy”, “argo”, “squiz” tossed about). Turned out it was a commercial for an investment company. Had I been there in person, there might’ve been a slight uptick in the Australian homicide rate.
And our Australian friends are not without racial discrimination problems with their indigenous people, the Aborigines. Institutional and systemic racism is plainly evident.
The Aboriginal writer, activist and former prisoner Kevin Gilbert wrote that “the real horror story of Aboriginal Australia today is locked away in police files and child welfare reports. It is a story of private misery and degradation, caused by a complex chain of historical circumstance, that continues into the present.”
I love oxymorons because they’re more loveable than ordinary morons. Like this one: Which one of us in the English (and partly French and Spanish) speaking nations is the least perfect? Alas, perfection to any degree just isn’t possible in the human condition. And many humans, mainly writers, like to point that out about those outside their borders. As nations, we may do great things, but we, also, all have warts and even open sores.
© 2020 by Phil Truman. All rights reserved
Thanks for taking time to read this piece.
I would also encourage you to follow and read these writers: Bebe Nicholson, Trapper Sherwood, Tim Maudlin, Jeff Herring, Stuart Englander, Tree Langdon, Terry Mansfield, Kristin Wilson, Terry L. Cooper, Jack Shepherd, Darrin Atkins, Donna L Roberts, PhD (Psych Pstuff), Dr. Preeti Singh, Robert W. Locke, Stephen M. Tomic, Erin King
