My Perpetual Battle with the Poop on the Sidewalk
I love dogs. Who doesn’t? All fluffy and tail-waggy and happy to see everyone. And have you ever seen anyone happier to ride in a car, even if it’s just around the block?
Dogs are the best!
Dog owners, on the other hand, are a little more hit and miss.
As wonderful as owning a dog is, the shitty part — pun definitely intended — is cleaning up after them. And while I love seeing people with their dogs in public spaces and will frequently ask to pet said dogs, I also wonder if they’ve brought their dog outside with the express intent of letting their dog do their business.
This is a frequent occurrence in the public spaces at the apartment complex in which I live, and, I’d wager, an issue in living spaces in which people need to walk their dogs to keep them from bending a fresh biscuit on their carpet.
While I realize this is a necessary part of pet ownership for many people, dog poop in public spaces is something that affects us all.
Some people are diligent in cleaning up their dog’s poop.
Others watch their dogs drop a warm pile of shit and just walk away.
This bothers me for a few reasons.
- We’re now officially in summer. Here in the Sacramento Valley, temperatures are often in the upper 90’s to low 100’s. One of the main grassy areas where people’s dogs poop is right outside my backdoor and bedroom window. I have to keep my backdoor and window closed to keep the aroma of fresh, sunbaked dog shit out of my living space.
2. The complex’s management has provided a dog poo cleanup station on this section of grass. There are doggie poo bags and a small waste receptacle. There’s even a small sign encouraging people to clean up after their dogs.
As convenient as this is, people still bring their dogs there, watch them pinch a loaf, then just walk away.
What the fuck, you guys?
The poop piles up until the grounds crew comes through and mows the grass, turning the piles of poo into a snowy brown dust that gets into the air and coats everything nearby.
3. This is the one which affects me more than the other two combined.
Some people’s dogs shit right on the sidewalk.
Look, I understand accidents happen, and that dogs aren’t always aware that they’re brown-bombing in places they shouldn’t.
Regardless, it’s the owner’s responsibility to grab a bag and scoop the poop in order to properly dispose of it.
And yet, many people in my complex see the poop on the sidewalk, shrug their shoulders, and walk away.
I’ve seen it happen! I want to grab these people by the shoulders and shake them while screaming, “How the fuck can you be so inconsiderate? Pick up the poop!”
And if you’re wondering what the big deal is, you’ve never been in a wheelchair and rolled through poop before.
Yes, it happens. Often.
Yes, you should be grateful if you’ve never had that experience.
Why is it such a terrible thing?
Because if I roll through poop, the poop sticks to my wheels. It gets into the tire tread. It stays there…and it gets on my fucking hands!
And if, for example, I inadvertently roll through a thick turd between my car and my apartment, that means I have to roll the rest of the way to my front door with poo on one, or as sometimes happens, both hands, meaning I spread the poo around my wheel.
It means I track poo into my apartment.
It means I now have to clean my hands, my wheels, and my floor.
I have better things to do. Moreover, I’ve been late for things because I had to take the time to clean dog shit off various surfaces, or because a poopy wheel rubbed against my pants, as sometimes happens, and I needed to change.
If you’re an able-bodied person who can change pants in 20 seconds or so, this might not seem like a major inconvenience.
Being quadriplegic, however, it takes me five minutes and a concerted effort to change pants.
It’s bad enough that people leave shit for me to roll through…then they rob me of my time as well?
Thoughtless fuckers.
I mentioned this problem to a friend — and by “mentioned,” I mean I complained loudly — who posed the question, “If it bothers you so much, why don’t you clean up the poop?”
Several reasons.
1. They’re not my dogs. I shouldn’t have to clean up after someone else’s pet. That’s their responsibility, one all pet owners should recognize when they acquire a pet.
2. Even if I resigned myself to cleaning up someone else’s dog’s shit, the cleanup bag station is in the middle of the grass. It’s thick grass which is difficult for me to roll across in my wheelchair. It’s also ground zero for poo that hasn’t been picked up. In attempting to clear the hazard on the sidewalk, I might roll through a hidden pile of brown biscuits.
3. Not all doggie messes are capable of being cleaned up with a simple bag. Some messes look like someone dropped a bowl of brownie batter from their third floor balcony. This requires the aid of a pressure washer which isn’t something I have access to.
4. Poo pickup has an expiration date. By that I mean, a person leaves their dog’s poo on the sidewalk. No one picks it up, so it sits there in the elements. Maybe someone steps on it. Maybe some poor wheelchair user rolls through it. Or maybe it just sits there undisturbed.
It sits on the sidewalk through cycles in which the sprinklers for the grass and plants come on. Then it dries out in the sun. It gets soaked and sun-dried over and over until it begins to crumble. It eventually becomes this greyish mound of desiccated past-its-prime poo, and it begins to make itself one with the pavement.
At this point, no one could pick it up even if they wanted to. Sure they could sweep some of it up, but much of it has gotten into the pores of the concrete, tainting said patch of sidewalk until it completely decomposes.
If you’re thinking I’m blowing this out of proportion, I’d like to present the memorandum the front office sent to all the residents in my apartment complex.
Yes, this has become enough of a problem that management has gotten involved.
We have been hearing some unfortunate news lately about our pets, and their owners, and not cleaning up after our animals. We love that we are able to provide and allow our furry friends to live with us! This is all our home, and we want to be able to keep it clean and attractive for all our residents and future neighbors! We have noticed that some of our pets’ parents are not being responsible for them and not picking up after their pets. Under the Animal Addendum on the lease it states:
VIOLATION OF RULES/VIOLATION FEE. If Residents, any member of Residents’ household, occupants, guests, invitees, or other persons violate any rule or provision of this Animal Addendum, then Owner may demand that Residents remove the animal permanently from the Leased Premises. The owner also has all other rights and remedies set forth in the Residential Lease Contract, including but not limited to damages, termination, and eviction. If Residents fail to clean up animal waste from any part of the Residential Community and the Owner, as a result of Residents’ noncompliance, is required to make arrangements to have the waste cleaned up, Residents shall pay the Owner a sum of $25.00, per occurrence, as liquidated damage. Said sum shall not limit Owner’s right to terminate the tenancy, force Residents to remove the animal, and/or evict Residents, based upon any violation of this Addendum.
Please clean up after your pets, and let’s work together as a property to keep it clean for all residents, and pets! We do not want this privilege to be taken away from this property and our residents. Our staff also loves saying hello out to all the fur babies (when we are not in a pandemic) and we do not want to have to take that away. Please let’s look after our pets and treat our community with respect!
All of that is a polite way of saying, “PICK UP YOUR DOG’S SHIT YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLES!!”
George Costanza said it best when he ranted about living in a society…
Do try to remember that our actions — or in this case, a lack of action — often affect others, sometimes in ways in which we’re unaware.
And specifically remember, when you’re taking your furry friend for a walk, to please clean up whatever comes out the back of them.
Otherwise, I reserve the right to roll over your toes with poopy wheels…and no one wants that.
If you liked this story and/or my writing, sign up for my email list to stay up to date on new stories, upcoming features, and other cool news. I promise not to overfill your inbox like a waste receptacle that’s actually being used by a group of responsible pet owners.