My Parents Didn’t Teach Me About Money Management

Teaching my own children about money makes me want to beat my head against the wall Part I

Remember that old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do?” And then there’s the other saying, “Lead by example.” When it comes to parenting, these sayings often pop into my mind.

Our parents are our first teachers. They are the people we live with, learn from, and use as examples. We hear their words, but we watch their behavior. Who hasn’t smiled when seeing a child dressing up like their father or mother? How often does a son grow up and work in the same business as his father?

Among the many life lessons our parents teach us is money management. Think about the house you grew up in. Were your parents frugal? Did they make a point to save their money? Did they worry about money? Did they talk to you about money and explain the importance of saving and managing the money earned?

Both of my parents grew up during the Great Depression. My mother lived on the family farm, and everyone worked toward the greater good of the family. If you weren’t working in the fields, you were working in the house and caring for the children. Because of this group effort, my mother’s family remained close until long after my grandparents died.

My father’s father was a coal miner. His family moved back and forth between Kentucky and Alabama so he could work in the mines. My father also worked in the mines until WWII. My grandmother moved to Georgia to work as a Rosie Riveter at an army airfield. My family has been here ever since, and many of my family members work on the base.

The extreme deprivation that my parents experienced during their childhood affected the way that they handled their money. In their early years, they were frugal and paid off their house early. When credit cards became available, they resisted using one. I remember my father cutting them up as they arrived in the mail. They paid cash for everything.

Once their house was paid for and most of us kids were grown, they became spenders. They bought what they wanted to buy and did whatever they wanted to do with their money. All of this occurred under the watchful eyes of their “oops” child, which would be me.

I never saw my parent struggle for money. I also never saw them save and invest. The amount of money my father spent on junky cars was astounding. He always owned three or four cars at a time. My mother was into antiques. She thought if something was old, it was valuable. She filled our house with worthless junk that was worth far less than she imagined.

Just think about if they had invested that money instead. They could have been millionaires. I know now that they didn’t understand the basics of saving and investing, and because of their experience with poverty, they were happy with what they had.

Because they had pensions from the base, they didn’t have to worry about money. Their house was paid for, and money was coming in regularly. I’m not mad at them for how they lived. It was their prerogative, but I wish they had explained money management to their children. It wasn’t common to discuss finances with children, but maybe it should be. It could have saved us some serious mistakes.

As a child, I saw parents who bought anything that they liked. They always seemed to have money, and they were very generous with me. I was given ten dollars a week to spend as I liked. It sounds like a small amount, but in 1977, it bought me five days of school lunches and enough gas to run around in my 1969 Nova SS. That car, with its 350 engine, could burn through some gas, but I managed on three dollars a week.

They paid cash for my college education and gave me money to spend. When I think back on my life, I realize how blessed and, yes, spoiled I was. I didn’t know what a blessing it was at the time; I just accepted it as my due.

I had a lot to learn.

stay tuned for part two coming soon.