My Only Plan Was To Not Have a Plan

Modern-day Renaissance Woman invites you along for the ride…

I was once a strategic planner who lived my life the same way — create the vision, design the plan, implement, re-evaluate.

But when I finally had the courage to leave a nine-year pathological relationship, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. I donated almost everything I owned to Hospice, put the house in the hands of a property manager, packed up the car and at the age of 60, hit the road.

My only plan was to not have a plan.

I thought I would do it for a year while I rediscovered myself…but five years later I was still ‘vagabonding’ about the world.

The only thing that has (temporarily) clipped my wings is my 90+ years old Mom’s need for a caregiver with no other good options but me. I can’t bear the thought of putting her in a rest home, even though some days I feel like I need one (for ME).

Moving in with her only slowed me down a little though. I got a passport for her and spirited her off with me to Mexico, Ecuador and other adventures in the U.S. Although the coronavirus has us ‘on hold’ right now, who knows what the future will bring? She wants to go to Ireland.

I have joined Medium to invite you into my life and hopefully enrich yours. I call myself a Renaissance Woman because I have a lot of interests, a lot of experiences and a lot of thoughts. Maybe you will find them interesting…or discover something of value…or simply stimulate some thinking that will enhance your own life.

Here’s a little bit of what you can expect from me:

Travel experiences, photos and tips!

Oh, I do love to travel. Solo as a 60-something woman, usually serendipitously without much of a plan. Sometimes with a friend or a daughter. Recently with a mom. Looking forward to starting with the grandchildren. Whether you join me vicariously through my stories and photos or get inspired to go yourself, I know you’ll learn, enjoy, struggle, laugh and make wonderful friends…travel is when we get to condense and observe life in ways we normally don’t ‘at home.’

Family Foibles

I’m a daughter, currently caring for an elderly mom. I’ve learned things from this experience I had no basis for anticipating. I will share the challenges, the joys, the humanity, the resources…and eventually, the end.

I’m a mother too, of two amazing young women with very different approaches to life. They continue to inspire me to grow and have blessed me with 11 very different grandchildren. I’m in a position to share many intergenerational stories…from the history of the Great Depression and World War II…to what I learn every time I visit a household with nine children…to the value that a nine year old and a ninety year old bring to each other. Perhaps I’ll also sprinkle in some of the letters that my mother wrote to her mother after moving 750 miles away when I was a little girl.

Creativity

I said all my life that I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, and although writing is my main art, I became a painter at the age of 60 and it’s become one of my greatest joys…and avenues to peace.

I have published a magazine and hope to publish a book (that’s almost done but won’t be soon). I also coach people who are at a crossroads and want to transform their lives by creating a new vision and a concrete, actionable plan to reach it, facing their personal barriers and growing their self-awareness along the way.

Finances

I have supported myself as a single woman since divorcing at age 45 and have learned a thing or two about personal financial responsibility…and about the financial mess that can result from being with the wrong kind of partner. I have also been an active trader and investor while traveling. I am not an investment professional, but I will share some thoughts occasionally about the economy and what I am doing with my own funds. Perhaps they will give you some ideas about protecting and improving your own financial situation.

Currently, my focus is on creating better stability by building a 3-legged stool with traditional dollar-based assets, gold and cryptocurrencies…a little bit at a time as I am able.

What’s Going On in Our World?

I am a former (long-ago) political activist who still has a few opinions and I’m sure I will share some of those, too. I’m saddened by what I see happening in my country that I thought I’d never see…and yet I’m aware of exciting possibilities on the horizon that I know will transform our lives. Philosophically, these days I lean toward libertarianism. Mostly, I think we all need to commit strongly to thinking for ourselves.

Health

I’m a cancer survivor. I’m thankful for that — both that I survived and that I had it. It taught me so much and I take care of myself a lot differently now than I used to. I will share that story and some of what I’ve learned about nutrition and other ways we can boost our immunity. That is really important for everyone right now as we face a brand new virus.

Contemplations

I meditate and I pray. I am spiritual, but not dogmatic. I am certain of very little and I embrace that uncertainty. There are some things I know in my soul that, even as a writer, I have difficulty putting into words and these things are an outgrowth of my own spiritual experiences. I encourage you to have your own, in whatever way speaks to you.

For me, contemplation flows with walking, one of the greatest gifts of the human body. It makes you healthy, wise and wealthy in the broad sense. Actually, I think it makes you wonderful, too…and wonderfully happy. I walk fast. I walk in all kinds of weather. I walk up hills and on beaches and in forests and through cities. I walk with friends and children and I walk alone. I think walking is a metaphor for life and I will have more to say about that.

Those are some of the ‘little picture’ stories you can expect from me. But woven throughout, I hope you’ll also discover some of the bigger and deeper pictures that peek through my words into your own life.

What Are Your Challenges?

I don’t believe in harming myself, but I know what it’s like to look to the future and not see anything that feels worth living. And I know what it’s like to look toward a new Dawn and decide to Turn Trauma into Tremendous.

Several years ago as I looked back on my process of recovery from a toxic relationship, I realized that I passed through three stages and I wanted to share that to encourage others that they could do the same. I began publishing a magazine named after those stages: Survive, Transform, Soar! I will occasionally talk more about those stages in future stories.

But those stages don’t apply only to narcissistic abuse or pathological relationships. We all experience different types of trauma during our lives, whether it’s a car accident, war, a health crisis or not having a backup when our hard drive crashes! Just look at what’s happening in our world right now as we face COVID-19.

Survive, Transform, Soar!

We can use these times or incidents of trauma to reorient our lives. To get through them long enough to survive. To honor a period of introspection and self-awareness that has the power to transform us. And to soar into a future — a New Dawn, so to speak — that is better than anything we could envision before, what I like to call becoming BTB4™ (Better Than Before).

I have lived it so I know it is possible. I am living it. And I’d like to share it with you along the way. With a few reflections back to my past. With some stories about my life right now as it unfolds. And with some ideas about the future. Mine. Yours. Ours…as a society and a world. I invite you to follow me here on Medium…and co-create as we explore this amazing and wonderful adventure before us…with or without a plan.

I am Dawn Aegle: a survivor, a transformer and a woman who soars, whether in airplanes, in my heart or parasailing over the Pacific. I’m honored to meet you!