My Number One Advice For Young People? Shut The Door On Your Past

“When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

In late 2020 I started having daydreams at 3 AM.

I’d recount my life. I’d think about past exes. I’d think about how young my parents used to look. I’d think about high school, and how time is moving so fast.

I don’t know why I did it.

It’s just where my mind went.

I see high school friends who have kids now. They’ve literally created replicas of themselves that can talk and eat and watch Spongebob.

Who hit the fast forward button on life?

I post stories on Instagram that my ex watches. She’s married. What’s funny is she’s one of the first ones to watch my story every time.

Why? She misses me? She wants me?

I don’t think so at all. She’s happy. I know that. I just think all of us are slaves to the past in one way or another.

We are all living a grand story. Sometimes our stories intertwine with others. It’s only natural to want to see how the stories of others end.

It doesn’t mean you love them. It doesn’t mean you want to be with them again. Maybe, more than anything, you just wish you were young again.

I’m about to give you some harsh advice, though…

Shut The Door Entirely On The Past

“In my mind there’s something more And I’ll open up a brand new door And find the strength to close the ones I left behind”

-Kenny Chesney, The Road and the Radio

Have you ever heard the expression “burn the ships?”

Hernán Cortés burned all his ships in 1519 during the Spanish conquest of Mexico. Why? Because he wanted to give his men no choice — conquer or die.

Doing this in our own lives requires similar courage.

Sometimes when our past bothers us too much at 3 AM, or when we spend too much time looking at an ex’s Instagram post, we need to take drastic measures.

We need to delete Instagram entirely. We need to smoke ridiculous amounts of weed to sleep at 3 AM instead of replaying the movie of our lives.

I kid, but I’m kinda serious too.

It takes a hell of a lot of courage to shut the door on your past. Not just on certain people, but on old traits you used to have.

It’s hard to forgive yourself. It’s hard to separate your character from your bad habits. If you used to be an alcoholic, I imagine it’d be a struggle believing that you can be a new person.

It be hard to let the past die.

I really resonate with that last line from Kenny Chesney..

“And find the strength to close the (doors) I left behind”

That’s what it takes — strength.

Since I left the Philippines a year ago, I’ve closed the door on that part of my life. I deleted my Facebook Page that had half a million Filipino followers. I gave away everything I had over there. I stopped learning Tagalog.

It was fucking hard.

If I had it my way, I’d never step foot in that country again because it was so hard to say goodbye to it.

It’s not because I don’t love the Philippines. It’s not because I don’t love Filipinos, and their amazing culture.

I just know that sometimes you need to cut stuff out of your life cold turkey to move on.

It’s the only fucking way.

Do you check your ex’s Instagram too much?

Then delete your fucking Instagram.

Do you want to start a new life?

Then sell all your shit and go somewhere else.

Sometimes we need to take drastic action to move on from our past — luckily many people can change.

It Doesn’t Matter What Anybody Thinks Of Your Decision

This article is for people wondering if change is possible.

The people who get weird looks from family members and friends who are skeptical of whether they’ve changed.

Why is this advice so useful for young people?

Because we are the most unsure of ourselves out of anybody. Our ship’s anchors could not be closer to our comfort zones. We’ve never had to venture too far out into the world and make a name for ourselves.

Apparently 78% of first year college students go to in-state colleges. It’s not human nature to jump out of our comfort zones the first chance we can get.

But you need to.

If I never left Maryland to go on a cross country road trip, I’d never have a story worth publishing in the Huffington Post, I’d be a nobody on a Medium, and I’d probably be working a regular 9–5 office job somewhere hating my life.

I sure as shit wouldn’t be living in Mexico.

So many people are scared to start something new. They’re scared of the unknown, and they’re scared to cut ties with what’s comfortable.

But, I promise, you’ll be surprised how well it all works out when you shut the door on the past and venture out for new horizons.

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