My Nine Year Old Asked Me About Sex

And I told her the truth

Each night before going to sleep, I ask my daughter if she has anything she wants to talk about. Last night, she asked me about a girl getting her period and my own experience with it.

That led to quite a lengthy discussion.

I explained the biology of periods including how, when, and why we have them. When I mentioned that the uterus lines with blood each cycle, and if a woman isn’t pregnant, the blood comes out as a period.

How does a woman get pregnant?

Oh my. Hmm. Okay. How far should this discussion go? I didn’t want to brush her off or tell her I would tell her later.

I explained as pragmatically as I could and even included unconventional methods of fertilization. She asked me if her father and I had sex. I took a deep breath and told her the truth.

Eww, that’s gross.

Child, that depends on how you look at it, but yes, it can be gross. Sure. Let’s go with that.

When my daughter asks me questions like this, I always answer her truthfully and pragmatically. Another example includes when watching Brooklyn 99, she asked what a prostitute was. My husband looked at me shocked when I explained.

I want her to come to me with any question, knowing that I will tell her the truth, and that if I don’t know, we will look up the answer together. I want her to feel comfortable asking me questions and that I won’t give her “birds and bees” answers that don’t make any sense.

Who else is going to tell my child what a period is, how a woman gets pregnant, or what a prostitute is? Some kid on the playground? No thanks.