My Neighbour’s House Was On Fire and I Didn’t Report It

Here’s why — it’s not because I’m an evil bitch…

No. It’s not because I hate my neighbour and wish her to burn in a house fire. It’s because despite seeing plumes of smoke rising from her house this morning, I didn’t realise it was on fire.

Here’s the thing…

My neighbour has a lot of bonfires. She’s a pain in the arse, to be honest. The air pollution is a real bone of contention.

When I saw plumes of smoke coming from her house this morning, I assumed it was just another bonfire. But I did think it was odd that she was having such a big bonfire in January, in the rain.

She usually only has them on hot sunny days in the summer, when we’re trying to enjoy the garden. But despite the odd time of year, I just thought it was normal behaviour for this woman because her bonfires are legendary.

Here’s an article I wrote about them last summer…

So it wasn’t until we went for a walk around the estate and saw the fire brigade out with their hoses this afternoon, that we realised this was not an ordinary bonfire.

Oh, sorry. To be fair, there are a lot of trees, and visibility from our house to hers isn’t great, especially when there’s a cloud of smoke in the way.

Anyway, the good news is, it doesn’t look like it was a big fire— no black charring around the windows, and there are no ambulances, so I guess she’s OK.

But you know… perhaps the moral of the story is it’s best not to have a lot of bonfires, because when your house is on fire, the neighbours might not notice.

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