My Mom Ruined Thanksgiving

That’s not a misprint, but it’s open to interpretation

I hope my mom doesn’t read this, but if she does, here’s what happened from my view on Thanksgiving Day.

I was driving to her condo to pick her up when her caregiver called me and told me her leg had given out, and she was now lying on the floor. She didn’t fall; she was guided to the floor.

When I got there a few minutes later, I helped her into her wheelchair and back into her bed, where she vomited up breakfast on her sheets.

I should have known to call my wife right away and let her know my mom wasn’t feeling well, but I just assumed she would recover quickly — I agree I have poor communication skills, but she had told me to take our time coming back so she could finish cooking dinner.

At noon I called my wife to let her know she was feeling nauseous. Unfortunately, there was no backup caregiver other than me, so she picked up our son, and I didn’t have a chance to think through a new plan.

So I stayed with my mom while my wife and son had Thanksgiving at home. If you recall my title was, “My Mom Ruined Thanksgiving,” and here’s why I chose that title and why I believe it’s accurate.

1. My mom has a history of being dramatic and exaggerating a sickness to get my attention. True, I can hear you saying, she threw up, but she was feeling anxious about coming over to our place and chose to stay home because she was nauseous.
2. Later that night, she wanted me to call her caregiver for the next day so that she could take her to ER for nausea and a sore big toe. This was when I realized she was going too far and not taking me or my family into consideration because I would be the one taking her to ER, and this would mean time away from my family when my wife was already justifiably upset with me.
3. I told my mom I didn’t think nausea was a reason to go to the ER, and if her foot wasn’t better by Saturday, I would take her to the ER then. When I got firm with her, and we had an honest conversation about her nausea, she started feeling better, as did the pain in her left foot.

Either that or the chamomile tea did the trick.

The Verdict

So this is why I can say with honesty that my mom ruined thanksgiving by overdramatizing her symptoms. What confirmed my view was when she called the next day. Her leg gave out, and she was on the floor again.

Deja vu.

Those with sensitive hearts will say I’m not being compassionate to my 87-year-old mom, and others will relate to my wife and can see how I felt caught in the middle in my role as son and husband.

In all honesty, maybe her leg gave out again, but my gut tells me I’m on target, thinking she’s faking or dramatizing her nausea. So I ask you, dear reader, am I the only one who has these issues dealing with an aging mom?

I know being at the younger end of the Boomer generation at 52, actually, I think I’m Generation X, but I decided to write this for cathartic purposes and open up on an issue that I believe is relevant to many Baby Boomers.

Let me know your thoughts via comments.

I did drive over to my mom’s condo, helped her back into bed and reminded her caregiver not to have her walk anymore today, so I wouldn’t have to come back.

And, yes, I was beginning to wonder if … I was being duped.

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