My Message to my Depressed Friend

Summary

The author shares a personal message with a depressed friend, emphasizing the importance of self-care, particularly dental hygiene, during challenging times, and encourages them to take steps now for a better future.

Abstract

The author, after reconnecting with a friend after a long period apart due to the pandemic, notices signs of neglect in their friend's dental health, which they attribute to the friend's ongoing battle with depression and the stress of online college. Drawing from their own experience with depression, the author stresses the importance of maintaining personal care, even when it feels most difficult. They recount their own struggle with self-neglect and the subsequent obsession with health that followed once

Hey friend

It was good to see you again after so long. Corona time is such a mess. We haven’t seen each other since May.

You looked well enough. I know you’ve not been feeling well. Your depression plagues you while college has become a nightmare since it’s moved online. Just because we’re computer nerds doesn’t mean we love being stuck to our screen all day, right?

I did notice something about the way you looked that made me wonder if I should say something. I’ve been hesitant because I don’t want to insult you or make you think it matters to me on a personal level. It’s more of a warning, and I am the cautionary tale.

It’s your teeth. I know you love your coffee. Your usually pearly whites were stained and yellow. I noticed a cavity in your canine which, I know you’ve seen too. They still look great and, your enamel hasn’t worn that much yet.

When I was a little younger(about your age, actually), I was depressed too. I spent three years completely lost in my own cocoon. Taking care of myself was at the bottom of my priority list. It took me years to get up and start again. When my journey began, my teeth looked decent enough, but I spent the next years praying I hadn’t done any real damage to myself. And in case you wonder, I am terrified of the dentist to paranoid levels. In my state of mind, I was avoiding going to any health specialist.

I will tell you it’s been a burden. I’ve become obsessed with my personal care, but I knew that one day I’d have to face the music. One day, if there were any underlying problems, they’d come out and ruin my day, or worse. I could deny it long enough while I slowly built up the courage to see a specialist and map out if there were any problems. But in the meantime, I cursed my past self.

I dreamed I traveled back in time and asked her: ‘Please, take good care of yourself. If you can do that for me, then one day I’ll kick ass to change our life to be perfect.’ She probably would have answered with a begrudged “I’m fine.”

So friend, do yourself a favor, do your future self a favor, and take good care of yourself now. No matter how badly you prefer to lay in bed, you should get up, shower, brush your teeth, eat a healthy meal, and take a walk. You’ll hate it now because your brain tells you it’s pointless. You don’t want to force yourself out of bed today because you make the false promise to do it tomorrow. You should do it today because your future self will be forever grateful. Your future life will be better.

It does get better, I promise.