Summary

The author's mother, characterized by her mental resilience, overcame personal and societal challenges to provide her family with a better life, exemplifying the power of unconditional love and daily perseverance.

Abstract

The article recounts the life of the author's mother, who faced significant adversity in the USSR during the 1980s and 1990s. Despite personal trauma from a troubled family background, including alcoholism and financial hardship, she remained mentally unbreakable and focused on her child's future. Her commitment to education and financial prudence allowed her to improve her family's living conditions and support her mother through mental illness. The author reflects on the life lessons learned from his mother's example of resilience, discipline, and the pursuit of long-term goals, which have led to her sense of fulfillment and his own success in life.

Opinions

The author believes that choosing the right role model, such as his mother, is crucial for a fulfilling life.
The author's mother is portrayed as a survivor who views life as a series of battles to be fought daily for the sake of her family.
The author emphasizes the importance of education and financial responsibility as tools for improving one's life circumstances.
The author expresses pride in his mother's achievements, particularly her ability to maintain mental and physical activity into retirement.
The author's mother distrusts financial markets due to past experiences with economic crises, preferring the security of a savings account.
The author considers his mother's success in overcoming life's challenges as a testament to her mentally unbreakable nature.
The author's mother's sense of fulfillment is seen as a result of her dedication to her family and her discipline in striving for big wins over small, immediate gains.

My Mentally Unbreakable Mother Taught Me This Life Lesson

A life of constant fighting has shaped her personality.

Not my mother but the lady has a look similar to hers. Image by Kampus Production on pexels

Choosing a role model is like buying a house. Pick the wrong one and your life will suck.

It took me years to understand why my mother has always come out of hopeless situations as a winner.

Being mentally unbreakable is the best way to describe her.

A never-ending family drama

Mom was 20 when I was born in 1986. People had kids at a young age in the USSR. We had few financial worries. Everyone was equally poor.

We were “taken care of” by the state. Until we weren’t.

The sh*t hit the fan in the 1990s when food vanished from supermarkets. Want tangerines for the New Year? Queue for three hours. You may still not get them.

The image of the tiny white fridge with two sausages in it is etched in my brain. But kids take hardships for granted. I didn’t know an empty fridge wasn’t “OK”.

My mom did. She was divorced and focused on survival. All the while fighting her own mental trauma.

Her parents hitting each other shaped her childhood memories. Having a drunk father at home five times a week does little to help raise mentally healthy kids.

No surprise my mom’s brother was an alcoholic too. Uncle Vova was a good person, I remember him. He loved kids and was generous to them. Especially when he was drunk. I always had candy and a few rubles in my pocket after meeting him.

But his addiction killed him faster than Neo dodging bullets. Uncle Vova was found dead at 37 with elevated alcohol levels in his bloodstream. Fell asleep and never woke up. At least he didn’t suffer.

When my mother buried him, it was time to focus on me. She wanted me to have a better life. Alcohol wasn’t part of it.

Now I understand why she was always pissed when I showed up drunk at home in my adolescence. That was a challenging time for us both but I became a good boy again at 17.

My mother’s success with my grandmother

Mom has a Ph.D. in chemistry and knows that a good life begins with education.

She sent me to a high school where university professors taught physics and math. That cost money but she was happy to pay for what promised me a bright future. Seven physics and ten math lessons a week for two years left their mark. The school was freakin’ good.

You don’t plan a better life, you live it here and now. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment until I was 13. Then Mother made some serious money and we moved to a two-bedroom unit.

It felt awesome to have my own room. I hadn’t asked for it because I couldn’t ask what I didn’t know. But I felt like a homeowner once I could set rules in my twelve square meters.

We moved to a three-bedroom apartment when I was 18. My grandmother was getting sick in another town. Moving her to our apartment became my mother’s priority. But my grandma refused to live in the city. Too large, too scary.

Things went sour for my granny five years later. That phone call from my mom’s former classmate… She said my grandmother was pounding on her apartment door with a stool to “chase the Devil away”.

Granny was with us a week later, even though she was half-present. She was peaceful at first. But we had to call two male nurses to put her into an asylum for the mentally ill. I’ll spare you the details.

It’s amazing that a three-month therapy put her back in shape. Never underestimate medication for widening brain arteries.

Granny began to recognize us. We could talk to her. She became an active family member again who could follow a conversation. And she moved back in with my mother (I’d already moved abroad).

I couldn’t project what that success would do to my mother. She needed intellectual stimulation in the middle of the family drama.

So she wrote another dissertation and grew into a professor of chemistry.

A smart look. The lady could be a professor. Image by Andrea Piacquadio on pexels

Mentally strong people do this

You need health, relationships, and money for a good life.

My mother is comfortable. She just crossed retirement age but doesn’t even think of giving up work. I’m proud she’s active mentally and physically.

Mom’s always managed to save money. I couldn’t convince her to invest it but that’s fine. She can’t forget the financial crisis in the 1990s and doesn’t believe in financial markets. It’s like giving up control over her money.

She keeps her rubles in a savings account with decent interest. I don’t have to worry about her.

This life story isn’t unique. Tons of people have struggled to put food on the table, take care of their relatives, and educate their kids.

But.

You’ve won if you can do these things.

I’m the proof my mom has won. My life has been a walk in the park compared to hers. I’ve worked hard since my early 20s but it was my mother who set me on the path toward comfort. Very few of my former classmates have the same quality of life. Much of it comes from what we receive from our parents.

My mother is mentally unbreakable. I asked her recently what she did to create this life for us. She said:

“I’ve always resisted circumstances, Denis.”

This means

Fighting for a better life every day
Doing what’s necessary, not what you feel like doing
You’re disciplined to sacrifice small gains in favor of big wins

That’s what my mom was doing until her 50s. She’s more than set for life now. You notice her sense of fulfillment when you talk to her. She’s positive, polite, and grateful. She treats everyone with kindness and respect.

What can be better than knowing you did your best for your family and won?

The bottom line

My enormous respect for my mother came in my 20s. I began to understand all she’d sacrificed for me and other family members. Unconditional love is helping others without expecting anything in return.

Love made my mother follow her long-term goals whatever sh*t life was throwing at her. That’s what the mentally unbreakable do.

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