Summary

The narrative describes a haunting encounter with decaying bodies in a cave that triggers a flood of memories and emotions, leading the protagonist to confront the transformation of cherished relationships into a monstrous, suffocating presence.

Abstract

In the story "My Memories Swallowed Me," the protagonist is unexpectedly confronted with the sight of decaying bodies in a smoky, cold cave, which evokes a visceral reaction and a desire to purge all physical and emotional connections. The stench of the corpses, reminiscent of the protagonist's own form, prompts a reflection on past experiences and the precious yet painful memories associated with them. The protagonist grapples with the loss of a friend who once shared joyous moments but succumbed to betrayal and despair. As the narrative unfolds, the protagonist's memories merge with the decomposing bodies, forming a serpent-like creature that symbolizes a traumatic past and the fear of confronting it. The rising water in the cave represents the overwhelming surge of these memories, leading to a plea for release from the torment of the past.

Opinions

The protagonist feels a deep connection with the dead bodies, which is both valuable and distressing.
The protagonist reflects on the superficiality of materialistic pursuits and the importance of genuine human connections.
There is a sense of betrayal and disillusionment with life's unexpected turns, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness and isolation.
The protagonist perceives the flies feeding on the bodies as a symbol of nature's indifference to human suffering and mortality.
The narrative suggests that the protagonist's memories and emotions have become a monstrous entity, reflecting the destructive power of traumatic experiences.
The protagonist expresses a desire to escape the overwhelming presence of the past, even at the cost of their own life.

Fiction

My Memories Swallowed Me

Or was it a serpent?

No, I wasn’t expecting the dead bodies that came into view.

The cave was smoky, cold, and eerie. Suddenly, the disgusting smell dominated the air. I felt all my organs getting closer to my mouth. I wanted to vomit, get rid of everything taking space in my body.

My stomach, for I couldn’t take it more. My lungs, for I didn’t need to breathe. My womb, for I didn’t desire to become a woman. My heart, for I didn’t want to feel. My brain, every cell of it, for the remembrance was the worst disease.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the bodies. Decay, filth, malodor… Nauseous, the atmosphere was, suffocating me in my own tail as I looked at the corpses that resembled me. The odor was so intense that I had to narrow my eyes, something clicked in my brain. An uncanny force in my body was pulling me to the deep waters of my memory.

Complex. Interwoven. Unpleasant.

Yet, I remembered the bodies. There was a valuable connection between us. But, how could I share something precious engraved in my remembrance with these decaying and smelling cadavers? How could someone change and waste my memories?

A branch fell before my feet. I realized the space I was occupying. The cave. The dampness. There was a gloomy moonlight outside, filtering its weak light as if wanting to guide me among the rottenness. I felt dark and dismal.

Flies began hovering around the bodies. The decomposition started. They fed upon the decaying organs, avariciously exploiting them as if they would get bigger and dominate humanity. Those little flies that we killed when they disturbed us during hot, suffocating summer days… They were looking down on the human bodies now, celebrating their triumph.

I gazed at one of the human faces. Thick blood covered the skeleton, and I couldn’t distinguish between the skin and bones.

The teeth were turned to yellow, already. One of the bodies, I reckoned, died while talking. I wondered her last words. Was she happy, guilty, sad, or afraid? Was she defending herself for an act of injustice? Was she telling her friend how much she loved her? I met her eyes — brown with blackish tones. There was something gothic, but beautiful about her gaze. She seemed sincere. Her eyelashes were long, and her mascara was expensive, I supposed.

We were looking at the mascaras together. In a shopping mall. I couldn’t figure out why we were stuck in a mall while we lived in a city upon seven hills, fairytale-like, binding two continents with an artificial bridge.

We could have taken the boat and passed across the Maiden Tower. We could have laughed, watching seagulls, then bought some napkins from hawkers to see their smiles. But, we were instead stuck in a building, following unconsciously the materiality that we didn’t need. We needed each other, our friendship. My heart ached. We needed each other. Why was she dead?

Someone betrayed her, broke her heart during the very joyous moment of her life. She was happy, peaceful, successful, and thought everything would continue so.

Yet, life wasn’t that smooth and uncomplicated. Life brought her a disaster, shaking all the confidence and joy she had. Life shattered her into pieces, removing all the branches she could hold onto. She was alone, friendless, parentless, selfless.

She was a stranger in a woman’s body while she didn’t feel what was like to be a woman.

She didn’t recognize her power.

She believed in abusive men’s crap. She thought she was stupid, purposeless, unlovable, selfish, worthless, and merely wasting oxygen.

I met her when she scrolled down her phone screen, looking at it blankly and thinking how unnecessary she was. I could have held her.

She was dead now.

My heart started to beat rapidly. The oxygen was insufficient. I looked at the other two faces. Same. Decaying. Stinking. They all began looking at me. Or, were they always looking at my horrified face?

Did they die looking at me, expressing how disillusioned they were with me? But, how did they die? That, I couldn’t reckon.

My shoes got wet. Water was leaking from somewhere. There was no sea, ocean, or lake. Where was the flow coming from? It was warm, carrying residuums of memories — those sweet, happy days when we believed we would always be together. Until the grave. I looked at the faces again. They emerged into an entity. Something I knew but didn’t want to accept. Please. They could turn into anything, but not that animal. It destroyed my childhood, gave me numerous sleepless nights. I was always afraid of seeing it, coming across it.

It was right across me now, emerging out of those dead bodies. There was something familiar and common with those faces. I needed them and loved them. How did my love turn into a serpent, haunting me in that suffocating cave?

The water reached my neck. Please, God. Let me be drowned before the creature that I shaped killed me. Plea…