Relationships

My Man Executed a Great Plan; Now He Wants Sex as a Reward

Why do they always want sex; how about a nice cake?

“Sexual energy is just that, it’s energy. And where we choose to expend that energy makes all the difference in the world.”–Joy McMillan, XES: Why Church Girls Tend To Get It Backwards… And How To Get It Right

After a long eight-hour drive, we are in a hotel room when my husband turns to me and gives me that smile. Oh, no. It’s the old “come hither” posture and gesture.

Three things:

1. Since before dawn, we have been up to get to the hotel early; we will meet friends we haven’t seen in a long time this afternoon.

2. I slept in my clothes last night because I’m terrible at starting trips at 4 AM. While I always wake up happy, I am not a good rush around and get dressed person. I address this by sleeping ready to roll. I wake up, put my shoes on and go. So my hair is uncombed; I smell. My eyes are red as fire. My back hurts. My legs are stiff. Romance is not on my mind.

3. My spouse is energized. He worked on his plan. We got up early. We ate the healthy snacks he prepared. There were no problems with this, our first post-pandemic car trip. The man feels like a winner who has his sexy wife with him. He is in success mode.

I have two choices

a. Just say no, like to drugs. No is a perfectly acceptable answer in our marriage. We both say it sometimes when not in the mood. But a no at this point will have unintended consequences in that he is feeling successful. The next time we are headed out somewhere, he will not be enthusiastic. My honey will only remember that he did a great job and was not remunerated. My wifely spider-sense is tingling.

b. Quietly get me together. A few Tylenol, a quick hot bath, some Ben Gay, and all is well. It is stimulating that he got us here without harm. I could send him to get something delicious for us to eat while I shift my reality to match his.

We have been married for decades, so the choice is obvious; pay attention to my instincts. I ask my sweetie to run out and pick up some delicious fried shrimp, French fries, and coleslaw: one of my favorite bad-for-you meals. He smiles a glib grin because he knows what is up. (And so do I). As soon as he leaves, I run myself a hot bath and slip into it. It was a very well-planned trip. He IS so sexy when he uses that big brain of his. Let’s go.

Toni Crowe retired to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books. Her bestselling business book, ‘Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends’ won a Gold Readers Award.

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