My Little Shadow: Chapter 12

Spirit always knows when we need them most

Phyllis. Have you seen Dawh since you met Victor?

I saw a bad Dawh.

A bad Dawh? What do you mean?

The bad Dawh doesn’t look like Dawh did when he died. He pretends to be Dawh to fool me. But I’m not fooled. He told me I’m too smart to be fooled. She proudly chucked her chin towards Victor, still outside the protective perimeter of my home.

Is this Dawh?

I pointed to the chair where Dawh was sitting. He showed himself to Phyllis, who looked shaken. Spastic and panicked, her upset grew with every shake of her head.

No. No. NO! That is NOT Dawh. That’s bad Dawh.

Dawh turned sad-eyed to Phyllis, telling her hello, punctuated with a foreign term of endearment. It sounded Polish or Yiddish, which made sense. When he said it, I heard ‘my dear one’ in English overlapping the unfamiliar word. Phyllis hesitated, a shy smile on her face as she heard the endearment. It was obvious she wanted to believe it was Dawh, she was still too earthbound. Trapped within the developmental challenges of her life.

Victor’s negativity grew as Dawh began to interact with Phyllis. His agitation at Dawh’s presence was unmistakable. Victor was struggling to maintain control over Phyllis due to my influence, so Dawh’s presence was bound to make that control slip even further from his grasp.

Still outside my fires, he puffed up his appearance, making himself bigger, meaner, as he stood there. Intimidation and fear were his only defences against us. I deflected it all back to him, eyes narrowed as I contemplated what Spirit was telling me about him.

You will not overtake me. You need to leave my home. Walk away from Phyllis. Exit this realm. Cross over and you will find a sense of peace that eluded you in life.

Dawh nodded, pleased with the way I dealt with him. Phyllis, shocked, looked from Victor to me and withdrew into herself. She was trying to understand what was happening, but her ability to process this level of emotional manipulation was diminished due to her developmental challenges.

Victor allowed himself to come into sharp focus then, straightening his shoulders and attempting to manipulate and intimidate me. He was showing me just who I was dealing with.

A tall, well-built man, he appeared almost a head taller than I did at five-foot-eight. Dark, curly hair brushed broad shoulders while hardened, coffee-coloured eyes bored into my own. A shudder rippled through me as I looked at him, raising my chin in defiance.

Are you trying to bully me, Victor? I shot him a smug smirk, letting him know who he was dealing with. It’s not going to be that easy. I’m not a scared little girl. I’m not Phyllis.

A slow, calculating smile worked its way across his face. Without address my question, he told me everything I needed to know.

He was trying to bully me, but I wasn’t the spirit of a mentally challenged girl. I wasn’t going to be easy to intimidate or manipulate, something he was coming to realize.

I dismissed Victor with a long, deliberate blink, I shut him out of the conversation as I turned to Dawh, who still sat in the chair to my left.

Phyllis stood beside the chair, hand resting on Dawh’s arm and a panicked look on her face. Frantic eyes on my calm ones, she swallowed hard. Keeping her out of the conversation, too, I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips together.

Dawh, Phyllis needs to see what happens when you cross over and accept things as they are. She needs to see she won’t disappear when she crosses over. She needs to understand she will still be able to come back here to visit. I spared a glance to Phyllis, who now rested on the arm of Dawh’s chair. Phyllis needs to see that she can trust you, and me, when we tell her this.

Dawh’s hand rested on his knee, inches from Phyllis’ swinging leg. His little finger twitched, eager to take her hand and let her know how much he still loved her. We sat in a moment of companionable silence, each trying to figure out the next step. Others joined us, the room filling up in the silence.

Tony’s Uncle Hugo sat with me on the love seat. Uncle Hugo adopted me as an honorary niece before he died.

Jacob, a spirit I’d helped cross over a few years before, sat on the arm of the love seat with a glass of scotch in each hand.

My mother stood beside Jacob, with Grandma Hawkins and Geordie’s Great-Grandma Cove next to her. Grandpa Hawkins stood behind his wife, one hand on her shoulder.

My eyes welled up with tears as I smiled and nodded at each of them. Heart swelling with love for these integral parts of my life, I noticed something amazing.

The walls of the office vanished as the room seemed to expand and fill with hundreds of spirits.

I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Phyllis looked around the room in confusion. Perplexed, she turned her gaze to each of the spirits, then out the window at Victor, who stood vigil outside the fires.

Narrowed to slits, her eyes bore into Uncle Hugo’s, one arm raised, accusing finger finding her target. With the forthrightness of a child, she demanded answers. She wasn’t rude, just curious.

Who are you?

I am Sarah’s Uncle Hugo. She helped me cross over when I died. Now I come back to visit her as often as I can.

Phyllis turned doubtful eyes to Jacob. Her skepticism was strong, but her curiosity was stronger. Head tilted to one side, she bit her lip and asked him Are you her uncle, too?

No, m’love. Like you, I was lost and scared. Sarah helped me find my way home when I was hopeless and too confused to do it myslef. I come back to visit her, too.

Smiling, Jacob handed me one of the glasses he held and raised his in a toast. He took a sip and nodded at me over the rim with a wink and a chuckle.

Eyebrows raised in surprise, Phyllis turned her attention to my Mom, her energy changing as she sensed the maternal love she held for me. Unable to sit still, she fiddled with the hem of her skirt.

Did Sarah help you, too?

Sarah has always helped me. I am her mother. I still visit her because I love her and miss her.

Mom reached out to grasp my hand. I smiled through my tears and told her I lover her. She squeezed back, returning my smile and nodding.

Phyllis, slow to understand the truths we presented to her, began to change in front of our eyes. Her appearance altered a little bit with every spirit she spoke with. Her metamorphosis from the scared, dishevelled young girl to the beautiful, loving soul she’d always been was slow and deliberate.

My mother’s words washed over her, a thoughtful air about her. She gave a slight nod before turning to Grandma and Grandpa Hawkins and Great-Grandma Cove.

You’re old. You’re her Grandparents, right?

They laughed at her straight-forward manner of speaking, delighting in her child-like manners.

Yes, dear, we are her grandparents. We come back to visit when she needs us. Or when we need her. Just like your Dawh comes to see you.

Phyllis glanced at her grandfather and bit her lower lip. Uncertain, she looked around the room and then out the window at Victor, who was posturing himself in a menacing manner. Jacob, Uncle Hugo and Grandma Hawkins materialized at her side, showing Victor Phyllis was no longer alone and vulnerable. She had family around her now.

Don’t worry, love. Jacob told her, his hand on her shoulder. Once you cross over, he won’t be able to hurt you anymore. And you will still be able to come visit Sarah if you wish to.

Phyllis spent years convinced crossing over would make her disappear. It was difficult for her to reconcile what we told her with what she thought was the truth Victor spewed.

Face to the window, her anger and confusion pulsed like a living, breathing monster beside her. Stance quiet, watchful, her shallow breathing gave away how agitated she was.

Dawh took her hand. His patient, loving smile comforted her as she looked at him and asked one more question, hesitant and hopeful.

Who are you? Her eyes searched his face, hoping for an answer she dreaded not getting.

Dawh laughed an infectious laugh. That was when she recognized him as her Dawh. Phyllis laughed and threw her arms around him.

Her energy grew lighter, more carefree, as she realized Victor had been misleading her for years. It really had been her Dawh all along, not a demon working magic. He’d been trying to keep her save all along. Tears welled up in her eyes as she hugged her beloved grandfather close.

You know who I am, dear one. You watched me get sick, getting worse and worse until you saw me die… yet, here I am. He brushed the hair from her face, dropping a gentle kiss to her forehead. I crossed over when I died. I couldn’t wait to see your grandmother again. But I have always come back to visit. His smile lit up the room. Remember the dreams you had of me? Those were my visits to you. Now I’ve come to take you home. You don’t need to worry, my dear one. I come back to visit and so will you.

Phyllis stared at the one who’d held her hostage in his vortex of negativity for far too long. Her anger and fear fell away, replaced by pity. For him and all he’d turned his back on for so very long.

She shook her head and told Victor, No more. I am not doing it any longer. Phyllis turned back to Dawh and squeezed his hand with a grin. They wore their mutual love and admiration on their faces. Happiness for their reconciliation constricted my heart. This was why I loved working with spirit.

Looks like she’ll be okay, Jacob. I hope Phyllis comes back to visit, like you do. It would be nice to catch up with her once in a while. I smiled as Phyllis shot an adoring look at her grandfather. Good luck, my little shadow.

Phyllis’ face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning. Arms thrown around me, she hugged me in gratitude before blowing me a kiss as she turned back to her grandfather.

He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and walked her into the light, as a father might walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding. She was finally ready to cross over and he was her escort. This was what he’d wanted for her for decades. They’d both found what they’d been searching for all along. Each other.

Dawh’s eyes met mine just before they disappeared into the fifth, gratitude and love in their depths.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched one beautiful soul lead another into their afterlife.

Keep reading with My Little Shadow: Chapter 13 here:

If you want to start at the beginning, check out My Little Shadow: Chapter 1 here: