My Life Will Never Be The Same

As I sat at my desk to write early this morning, I realised how crazy the last few months have been. My life has changed so much more this year than I had ever bargained for. I had reached a big milestone at the start of 2020, my first child had left home for university.

As my husband and I returned from dropping him off at uni in Canada, we began to feel some of the positive effects of being empty nesters. Sure my daughter was still at home, but she was going about her life with tonnes of sleepovers, and other social activities like most teenage girls do. We had a lot more free time to ourselves.

I kept a close eye on the press and was slightly alarmed when I noticed COVID-19 cases exponentially increasing in China. Europe was playing it particularly cool and I wondered if they were right to.

I’ve worked in global health for a while now, and the dynamics of COVID-19 bothered me. How could it not become a global problem with the amount of frenetic global air travel and people movements all over the world?

When COVID-19 hit Italy, a stone’s throw from my doorstep in Switzerland, I knew it was serious. I stocked up on essentials and warned my extended family to do the same. When my son called and said the university was throwing all students out of the residence in order to curb the spread of COVID-19, I knew things were even more serious.

March 13, 2020, is a day that I will always remember. Switzerland decided to enforce a semi-lockdown on that day. The rules were simple. You were to stay at home unless you had an emergency or had to help an elderly person. You were to keep a 2-meter distance from anyone and everyone, disinfect all surfaces and thoroughly wash your hands several times throughout the day.

There were sometimes contradictory accounts in the global media about where the virus originated from. Some said it came from wet markets in China, others claimed it was genetically engineered. Then there were endless debates about the symptoms of COVID-19: dry cough, digestive problems — but surely not loss of smell and taste. And then, in another account, loss of smell and taste became a symptom. The contradictions, fake news, false cures, and everything concerning COVID-19 left me feeling vulnerable. I didn’t quite know that to believe anymore.

It is during this time I started meditating, find more ways to relax, and detach myself from an ever stressful and agitated world. I was lucky enough to be able to take long walks, to reset my psyche, to take a full measure of what I had learnt and accomplished in life so far, and what I wanted to do with the time I had left on earth. It was a time of introspection and enlightenment.

And then came George Floyd. As I watched the film of a black man die under the knee of a white man, the image triggered something in me. I’ll never quite be able to put my finger on what exactly it was, but the cruelty and indifference of the police officer that took a life so nonchalantly shook me to my core.

In him, I saw all the hatred and injustice in the world. In him, I saw everything that was wrong with the world. From my little corner of the universe, I decided then and there that I would use what little power I had to make this world a slightly better place.

For years I have written, but I have never written for a cause. I have written to entertain, to make people smile and laugh, to make people feel good. Now I realised, it was my duty and my calling to write, to educate people and to move them to action.

Once I put pen to paper, I couldn’t stop. I decided to write about my experiences with racism — growing up in a mainly white society, trying to find a job when the odds were stacked against me. I decided to write about my own life’s journey.

At first, I was afraid — scared of sharing stuff that was so deeply personal. In writing about my life I felt vulnerable at times. Was exposing my personal journey and my views on racism going to alienate me from friends and colleagues? Was I sabotaging all my chances both privately and professionally?

And then the messages started flowing in. People thanking me for having shared my experience, people who had lived through the same things, and had no one to talk to about their pain. And then there were friends and colleagues who thanked me for educating them, for rendering them more aware of their privilege, for inciting them to take more concrete actions to drive antiracism and anti-discrimination in their lives and in their communities.

I haven’t been able to stop writing since — as though guided by and driven by an unbridled and genuine passion for change, for a society where all human beings can walk head held up high without being discriminated against or fear for their lives.

Maybe my influence makes very little difference in a world of 7.4 billion souls, but then again, maybe it does. In the words of Hillel a renowned first-century Jewish scholar: If not you, then who. If not now, then when.

Thanks for all your constant encouragement and support.