Deluded Custodians Writing Challenge
My Letter to Santa Claus
Dude, where’s my pony?!

Dear Santa,
Thank you for finding the time to read this. I know this time of the year must be strange for you as it’s the only time when you’re not unemployed.
This year I’ve been very good. I rescued that nun from a burning building. She wasn’t too happy about it saying I’d set the church on fire in the first place but at least I helped her! People have no gratitude these days!
What else did I do? Oh yeah! This little old lady came up to me on the street and asked if I had any spare coins for the bus. I told her I had just the right amount and went on my merry way. I’m glad I could inform her accurately and I’m sure I lightened up her morning.
My good deeds should not go unrewarded Santa. I only want one big gift, and as I’m so awesome I feel like you should grant me this.
I want a puppy.
Not an ugly one. A pup that will melt hearts and look nice on Instagram so I can rake the likes in.
My puppy will be called “Help” so I get more attention when I shout his name on walks. I already have a female dog that I hope he gets on with. She’s called “Fire”.
A fluffy companion would really help my mental wellbeing and stop me from screaming in random people’s faces on the bus.
There is a famous saying:
“A dog is for life, not just for Christmas” — Cruella De Vil
I completely agree with this and I will look after the animal for life. I will walk it, feed it, and put hilarious Christmas light-up jumpers on it.
Santa, please help me out, bro. If you do this for me I promise I’ll stop stealing mince pies from pensioners. They don’t put up much of a fight you see.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year unless I don’t get a puppy. I will be stealing your mince pies if that happens.
All my love and kisses,
Say hi to the missus,
Adam ❤
Everyone read this piece by Ann James below which The New York Times describes as “nice”.
Write a family-friendly letter to Santa Claus before December 31st, and you’ll be entered into the Deluded Custodians writing contest.
