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Abstract

I feel like you should grant me this.</p><p id="ea0a">I want a puppy.</p><p id="b3eb">Not an ugly one. A pup that will melt hearts and look nice on Instagram so I can rake the likes in.</p><p id="e5cf">My puppy will be called <b><i>“Help”</i></b> so I get more attention when I shout his name on walks. I already have a female dog that I hope he gets on with. She’s called <b><i>“Fire”</i></b>.</p><p id="926d">A fluffy companion would really help my mental wellbeing and stop me from screaming in random people’s faces on the bus.</p><p id="48a7">There is a famous saying:</p><p id="f4c9" type="7">“A dog is for life, not just for Christmas” — Cruella De Vil</p><p id="36db">I completely agree with this and I will look after the animal for life. I will walk it, feed it, and put hilarious Christmas light-up jumpers on it.</p><p id="935e">Santa, please help me out, bro. If you do this for me I promise I’ll stop stealing mince pies from pensioners. They don’t put up much of a fight you see.</p><p id="d755">I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year unless I don’t get a puppy. I will be stealing your mince pies if that happens.</p><p id="6789">All my love and kisses,</p><p id="4286">Say hi to the missus,</p><p id="cae3">Adam ❤</p><p id="b45b">Everyone read this piece by <a href="undefined">Ann James</a> below which The New York Times describes as <b><i>“nice”.</i></b></p><div id="cb20" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium

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.com/the-winner-of-the-november-deluded-custodians-challenge-and-the-december-writing-prompt-5efa357295b0"> <div> <div> <h2>The Winner of the November ‘Deluded Custodians’ Challenge and the December Writing Prompt</h2> <div><h3>The November Entries: Three Exquisite Corpse Threesomes and One AWC Prompt Response</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*qob_uHBjfKoBdJVMdiWLSA.gif)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7aeb">Write a family-friendly letter to <a href="undefined">Santa Claus</a> before December 31st, and you’ll be entered into the Deluded Custodians writing contest.</p><div id="b272" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/letters-to-santa-with-a-cash-prize-b54622f3d7c3"> <div> <div> <h2>Letters to Santa with a Cash Prize</h2> <div><h3>Join the Deluded Custodians December Writing Challenge</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*[email protected])"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Deluded Custodians Writing Challenge

My Letter to Santa Claus

Dude, where’s my pony?!

**Read them you old fool! Pwetty pwease!** — Photo: Edgar on Unsplash

Dear Santa,

Thank you for finding the time to read this. I know this time of the year must be strange for you as it’s the only time when you’re not unemployed.

This year I’ve been very good. I rescued that nun from a burning building. She wasn’t too happy about it saying I’d set the church on fire in the first place but at least I helped her! People have no gratitude these days!

What else did I do? Oh yeah! This little old lady came up to me on the street and asked if I had any spare coins for the bus. I told her I had just the right amount and went on my merry way. I’m glad I could inform her accurately and I’m sure I lightened up her morning.

My good deeds should not go unrewarded Santa. I only want one big gift, and as I’m so awesome I feel like you should grant me this.

I want a puppy.

Not an ugly one. A pup that will melt hearts and look nice on Instagram so I can rake the likes in.

My puppy will be called “Help” so I get more attention when I shout his name on walks. I already have a female dog that I hope he gets on with. She’s called “Fire”.

A fluffy companion would really help my mental wellbeing and stop me from screaming in random people’s faces on the bus.

There is a famous saying:

“A dog is for life, not just for Christmas” — Cruella De Vil

I completely agree with this and I will look after the animal for life. I will walk it, feed it, and put hilarious Christmas light-up jumpers on it.

Santa, please help me out, bro. If you do this for me I promise I’ll stop stealing mince pies from pensioners. They don’t put up much of a fight you see.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year unless I don’t get a puppy. I will be stealing your mince pies if that happens.

All my love and kisses,

Say hi to the missus,

Adam ❤

Everyone read this piece by Ann James below which The New York Times describes as “nice”.

The Winner of the November ‘Deluded Custodians’ Challenge and the December Writing Prompt

The November Entries: Three Exquisite Corpse Threesomes and One AWC Prompt Response

medium.com

Write a family-friendly letter to Santa Claus before December 31st, and you’ll be entered into the Deluded Custodians writing contest.

Letters to Santa with a Cash Prize

Join the Deluded Custodians December Writing Challenge

medium.com